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Introduction | |
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How Marriage Ends Is How Divorce Begins | |
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Common Ways Marriages Fail | |
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Making a Working Marriage | |
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How Marriage Can Fall Apart | |
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How Divorce Decisions Vary | |
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Premature Divorce | |
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Constructing a Working Divorce | |
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Divorce Is Family Change | |
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The Nature of Change | |
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The Challenge of Change: Managing Transition | |
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Letting Go | |
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Moving On | |
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Clarifying the Demands of Change | |
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Divorce Is Not a Single Change | |
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Recognizing Two Kinds of Change | |
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Specifying Changes with Your Child | |
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Helping Children Cope with Pain | |
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Helping Children Gain Resilience | |
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The Process of Divorce | |
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Accepting Divorce | |
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A Highly Contested Divorce | |
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Divorce Role and Recovery | |
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The Breakup of a "Good" Marriage | |
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What Works in a Working Divorce | |
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Getting Communication in Working Order | |
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Sharing the Data | |
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Speaking Up | |
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The Perils of Shutting Up | |
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Breaking the News about Divorce | |
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The Child's Emotional Response | |
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Childhood and Divorce | |
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The Child's Age Matters | |
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Coping with the Fears Created by Loss | |
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Signs of Trouble | |
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"I Hate You!" | |
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Suicidal Statements | |
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Adolescence and Divorce | |
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A New Challenge | |
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How to Tell When Adolescence Has Begun | |
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Adolescence Defined | |
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How Divorce Affects Adolescence | |
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Holding the Adolescent Responsible for Behavior | |
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Divorce and Stages of Adolescence | |
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Four Stages of Adolescence | |
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Early Adolescence | |
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Mid Adolescence | |
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Late Adolescence | |
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Trial Independence | |
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The Only Child and Divorce | |
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The Two-Parent/Only-Child Family | |
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When the Parental Marriage Splits Apart | |
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Discomfort with Conflict | |
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Keep the Child out of Parental Conflict | |
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Avoid Making It Worse | |
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Parental Guilt | |
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Establishing the Single-Parent Family | |
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Detaching from the Ex-Spouse | |
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Separation, Not Rejection | |
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Creating Stakeholders in the New Family | |
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Coping with Sibling Conflict | |
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Managing Television | |
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Establishing Discipline | |
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How Divorce Changes Discipline | |
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Inconsistency of Rules and Values | |
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The Power of the Positive | |
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Teaching Two-Step Thinking | |
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Establishing Authority | |
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Strategies for Discipline | |
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The Principle of Consent | |
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Guidance: Good Parents Don't Shut Up | |
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Supervision: Good Parents Don't Give Up | |
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Structure: Good Parents Don't Back Off | |
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Exchange Points: Good Parents Don't Do All the Giving | |
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Stress and the Single Parent | |
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Understanding Stress | |
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Moderating Start-Up Demands | |
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Limiting Stress | |
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The Importance of Self-Maintenance | |
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Maintenance and Change | |
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Change at the Expense of Maintenance Means Stress | |
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The Importance of Support | |
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Don't Go It Alone | |
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Self-Respect for the Single-Parent Role | |
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Support from Friends | |
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The Costs of Giving Support | |
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Support from Children | |
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Keeping Emotional Support Within Healthy Limits | |
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Managing Education | |
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Keeping Performance in Perspective | |
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Keeping Family Safe for Learning | |
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Social Cruelty at School | |
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The Early Adolescent Achievement Drop | |
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The Solution to the Achievement Drop | |
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Sex-Role Influence of the Single Parent | |
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Origin of the Parent/Child Relationship | |
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Early Influence of Parents | |
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Early Influence of Peers | |
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Sex-Role Expansion of the Single Parent Role | |
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The Problem of the Absent Father | |
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Sex-Role Influence Traps to Beware | |
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Simple Psychology of Sex-Role Influence | |
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Mother and Daughter: Similarity Versus Separation | |
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Mother and Son: Distinction Versus Closeness | |
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Father and Son: Acceptance Versus Comparison | |
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Father and Daughter: Devaluing Versus Affirmation | |
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Relationship with One's Ex-Spouse | |
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Communicating Effectively | |
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Positively Sticking to Specifics | |
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Treating Your Ex-Spouse as an Ally | |
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Subscribing to the "Articles of Consideration" | |
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Four Categories of Differences | |
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Managing Differences | |
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Resentment of the "Good Time" Parent | |
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Taking Hard Stands with the Ex-Spouse | |
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Two-Household Family Living | |
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Visitation Adjustments for the Child | |
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Visitation Adjustments for the Single Parent | |
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When Your Child Acts Like Your Ex | |
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Adolescence-the Enemy of Visitation | |
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Giving Marriage Another Try | |
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Dating and the Children | |
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Handling an Ex-Spouse's New Relationship | |
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Role Conflict in Being a Single Parent | |
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Stepfamily Adjustments | |
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Common Stepfamily Tensions and Conflicts | |
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Helping Step Relationships Work | |
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Do's and Don'ts for Stepfamilies | |
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Helpful Web Sites | |
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Further Reading | |
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Helpful Support Groups | |
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Index | |