Messages The Communication Skills Book

ISBN-10: 1572245921

ISBN-13: 9781572245921

Edition: 3rd 2008 (Revised)

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'Messages' is a best-selling classic that has already helped more than 100,000 readers develop communication skills in all areas of life. Now in its third edition, this practical guide includes a new chapter on couples communication and new information on using validation strategies during conflicts.
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Book details

List price: $18.95
Edition: 3rd
Copyright year: 2008
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Publication date: 3/3/2009
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 360
Size: 6.00" wide x 9.00" long x 1.00" tall
Weight: 1.034
Language: English

Matthew McKay, Ph.D., is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. Inprivate practice, he specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety,anger, and depression. He is coauthor of The Relaxation and Stress ReductionWorkbook, Thoughts and Feelings, Self-Esteem, and other titles. Combined, hisbooks have sold more than two million copies.Patrick Fanning is a professional writer in the mental health field. He is coauthor ofMessages, Visualization for Change, Thoughts and Feelings, Self-Esteem,and other books.Patricia Zurita Ona, Psy.D., is a clinical supervisor at the Berkeley CognitiveBehavioral Therapy Clinic and the behavioral medicine training program at theWright Institute in Berkeley, CA. She provides training for graduate-level therapistswho are learning evidence-based interventions for emotional disorders.

Basic Skills
Real Vs. Pseudo Listening
Blocks to Listening
Assessing Your Listening Blocks
Four Steps to Effective Listening
Total Listening
Listening for Couples
Rewards of Self-Disclosure
Blocks to Self-Disclosure
Optimal Levels of Self-Disclosure
Assessing Your Self-Disclosure
Practice in Self-Disclosure
The Four Kinds of Expression
Whole Messages
Contaminated Messages
Preparing Your Messages
Practicing Whole Messages
Rules for Effective Expression
Advanced Skills
Body Language
Body Movements
Spatial Relationships
Paralanguage and Metamessages
The Elements of Paralanguage
Changing Your Paralanguage
Coping with Metamessages
Hidden Agendas
The Eight Agendas
Purpose of the Agendas
Transactional Analysis
Parent, Child, and Adult Messages
Analyzing Your Communications
Kinds of Transactions
Keeping Your Communications Clean
Clarifying Language
Understanding a Model
Challenging the Limits of a Model
Challenging Distortions in a Model
Some Final
Assertiveness Training
Your Legitimate Rights
Three Communication Styles
Identifying Communication Styles
Your Assertiveness Goals
Assertive Expression
Assertive Listening
Combining Assertive Expression and Listening
Responding to Criticism
Special Assertive Strategies
Assertiveness Skills Practice
Fair Fighting
Unfair Fighting
Identifying Unfair Fighting Styles
Fair Fighting
Fair Fight Rules
Your Script for Change
Validation Strategies
What Is Validation?
Why Does Validation Work?
What Validation Is Not
Components of Validation
Successful Validating Strategies
The Power of Validation
Four Stages of Negotiation
Dealing with Conflict
Rules of Principled Negotiation
When the Going Gets Tough
Social Skills
Prejudgment Traps
Approval and Disapproval in Prejudgment
Parataxic Distortions
Perpetuating Illusions
Clarifying First Impressions
Making Contact
Fear of Strangers
Guidelines for Making Contact
The Art of Conversation
Putting It All Together
Family Skills
Couples Skills
What Makes a Good Relationship?
Couples Systems
Keeping Your Relationship Strong
Communicating with Children
Joint Problem Solving
When to Let Go
When You Have to Say No
The Point Is...
Family Communications
Family Communication Disorders
Family Pathology
Family Systems
How to Keep Family Communications Healthy
Public Skills
Influencing Others
Ineffective Strategies for Influencing Change
Effective Strategies for Influencing Others
Your Plan for Influencing Change
Lisa's Plan for Influencing Change
Public Speaking
Defining Your Purpose
Outlining the Subject
Supporting Materials
The Outline
Dealing with Stage Fright
Clarifying What You Want
If You Are the Interviewer
If You Are the Interviewee
Recommended Reading
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