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| Introduction: The Gap between What I know and What I do | |
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| Why?: Why Don't I do what I know is Good for Me? | |
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| Immediate relief from stress or pain is often more compelling than our rational self-interest. | |
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| Childhood conditioning keeps us trapped; low or erratic self-esteem plagues us.. | |
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| Good self-care is not fun, interesting, engaging, or tasty. It's boring and bland-who wants that? | |
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| Advertising, marketing, and the media undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence. | |
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| The historical/cultural role of women in the world gives us second-class status, making it difficult to feel good about ourselves. | |
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| Addictions (overeating, shopping, alcohol, pills, men, work, etc.) keep us stuck-unable to do what's good for us. | |
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| Some of us suffer from depression. It's hard to take good care of yourself when you feel like sh☆t. | |
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| How?: How can we change our habits of Self-Care? | |
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| First, just notice what you do and what you don't do. Don't try to change anything-just notice. | |
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| Pay attention to the words you use-in self-talk and in conversations with others. | |
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| Give up the struggle. Make peace with who you are today. | |
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| Don't let what you can't do stop you from what you can do. | |
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| Catch yourself doing something right (or approximately right). Then pat yourself on the back for it. | |
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| Self-care doesn't mean selfish. | |
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| Help is not a four-letter word. Get support from others. No one can do it for you, but you can't do it alone. | |
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| Let go of perfectionism-it's both a cause and a result of low self-esteem. | |
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| Fake it 'til you make it. Act as if you value yourself, even when you don't feel like it. | |
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| What would radical self-care look like for you right now? | |
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| Make a gratitude list and build from there. What you focus on is what you'll get more of. | |
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| Clear away negative emotions: worry, fear, anxiety, regret, pessimism. | |
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| Don't "should" on yourself. Drop the words "should" and "ought" from your vocabulary. | |
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| Go to bed half an hour earlier. Self-care begins with the basics. | |
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| Look for women who have what you want and learn from them. | |
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| Practice esteem-able acts. | |
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| Lighten up and laugh ... a lotp. | |
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| Go on a media fast. Be very careful what you put in your head. | |
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| Stop playing the comparison game. | |
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| Draw on spiritual resources to assist you. | |
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| Adopt a flexible notion of self-care; allow it to change over time. | |
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| Ask your friends what they love about you. | |
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| Practice using affirmations to retrain your thinking and your attitude. | |
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| Make self-care into a game. Make it fun, engaging, interesting. | |
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| Do something physical today. Anything. Get your body moving. | |
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| Resting is not "doing nothing." | |
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| Forgive people who have hurt you. Forgiving them frees you. | |
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| Balance your checkbook. | |
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| It's not what you're eating-it's what's eating you. | |
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| Give up the need to be liked by everyone. | |
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| Never pass up an opportunity to pee. | |
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| Ask yourself, "What's the best use of my time right now?". | |
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| Clean out one drawer or one closet. | |
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| Make appointments with yourself. | |
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| Honor your feelings, but don't be a slave to them. | |
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| Don't go to a dry well for water. Seek out the right people to support you in caring for yourself. | |
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| Put your credit cards in a jar of water and freeze them. | |
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| Wash a window or two in your home or apartment. | |
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| Write down everything you spend this week. Yes, every single penny. | |
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| Meditate for at least five minutes each day. | |
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| Buy yourself some fresh-cut flowers. | |
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| Seek forgiveness from people you've hurt or harmed. Make amends. | |
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| Take care of your car. | |
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| Buy or make a first aid kit. | |
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| Tell yourself the truth about the men in your life. | |
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| Acknowledge all the different ways you avoid doing the things you know are good for you. | |
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| If you, or someone you love, is struggling with an addiction, find a local support group. | |
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| Make a God box. | |
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| Do what you love. | |
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| Enroll in a personal development class. | |
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| Use the phrase "Up until now . . ." to create openings for change. | |
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| Own your accomplishments. Enjoy the "new you" you're becoming. | |
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| What?: What Brings About Successful, Long-Term, Personal Change? | |
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| Learn how your mind works, then put it to work for your highest and best good. | |
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| Study how people bring about positive changes in their lives. | |
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| Coax yourself through the "I don't wanna" feelings. | |
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| Pay attention to the power of your words. | |
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| Stick with the winners. Surround yourself with the right people. | |
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| Teach others how to do the things they know are good for them. | |
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| Conclusion: Closing the Gap | |