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Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters

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ISBN-10: 0028641450

ISBN-13: 9780028641454

Edition: 2001

Authors: Rosanne Rosen

List price: $16.95
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Description:

This text includes suggestions, entertaining interviews and information that will appeal to women of all ages, and will enhance understanding and appreciation between mothers and their daughters.
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Book details

List price: $16.95
Copyright year: 2001
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 4/1/2001
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 336
Size: 7.25" wide x 9.00" long x 0.75" tall
Weight: 1.232
Language: English

Growing Up Female
A Woman's Unique Cycle of Life
Moving Out of Man's Shadow
The Ever-Present Maternal Genetic Factor
It Takes Two to Tango
FYI, Discovering More Gender Differences
Examining the Female Brain
Answering the Million-Dollar Question
Another Factor in the Mix
The Case for Nurturing
Estimates of Genetic Influence
Determining the Mating Cycle
The Urge to Merge
Motherly Love
Sprouting an Identity
The Strength of Attachment
Bonding, the Contemporary Version of Attachment
Emotional Development, the Value of Attachment
Attachment, Mother-Daughter Style
The Teeter-Totter Between Attachment and Separation
The Proper Balance of Safety and Exploration
Autonomy, the Prize for Separation
Tangled Vines
Gender Identity
Mom, Dad, and Baby Gender
The ABCs of Female Emotional Development
Empathy: Learning to Relate Human Style
Empathy: Studying the Female Response
Relationships with a Female Point of View
A Plus for Female Sociability
Prepped for Meaningful Adult Relationships
Forces That Shape Women's Lives
From Childhood Through Adolescence
Preadolescence, a Preview of What's to Come
Adolescence, Agony, and Ambivalence
The Adolescent Self
Transitions and Periods of Rejuvenation
The Youthful Twenties and Thirties
The Power-Packed Forties
The Empty Nest Years
Opened Doors and Unlimited Choices
The Younger Generation Says Nay to Victim Feminism
A Mom's Feminist Legacy
Winds of Social Change
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work We Go
Torn Between Home and Work
The Rap, Rigors, and Rights of Lone Motherhood
A New Definition of Family
The Female Agenda
Ties That Bind or Cracks That Divide
Passages Through a Lifetime of Motherhood
Uncovering the Realities of Motherhood
In Anticipation of Motherhood
The Shock of Motherhood
A Reality Checklist
What Moms Really Feel on the Inside
A Mother's Love Isn't Always Unconditional
Ingredients for Extreme Motherly Love
The Reciprocity of a Mother's Love
Balancing Motherhood and Self
Finding a Balance: The Conflict of Motherhood and Self
It's All About Sequencing: The Tale of Dr. Beech
Women and Their Solutions
Passage to Adulthood and a Lessening of Motherhood
Reminiscing with Mothers: A Heartfelt Story
Raising Daughters
Nurturing a Murphy Brown
Four Essential Ingredients of Mothering a Daughter
Essential Ingredient #1
Essential Ingredient #2
Essential Ingredient #3
Essential Ingredient #4
Your Daughter's Burgeoning Image
Under Your Daughter's Watchful Eye
The Need for Honest Role Modeling
The Impact of Mom's Actions
A Tasty Morsel of Mother-Daughter Mimicry
A Mother's Role
Prescriptives for Mothers
Seeing the Glass as Half Full
Understanding What Dads Can Do for Daughters
Learning Some Extra Steps
What's Happened to My Sweet Little Girl?
A Time of Terror Doesn't Cover It: Defining Adolescence
Cultural Connections Between Prolonged Adolescence and Mood Swings
Physical Changes--More Than Meets the Eye
"To Be Me or Not To Be Me?" That Is the Question
Knowing the Pressures Adolescent Girls Face
Making a Choice
Deciding What to Do
Getting the Short End of the Gender Stick
Your Rebel Has a Cause
Fingerprinting Your Adolescent Daughter
What's Going on Inside Your Daughter's Adolescent Head?
Battles Are Part of It
Watch Out: It's Battle Time!
Loading the Cannons: A Daughter's Arsenal
Cannon Fodder: A Mother's Constraint
Reaping the Spoils: The Positives of a Fair Battle
Mom, Don't Despair, All Is Not Lost
Adolescence Gone Awry
The Effects of Early Physical Development
The Importance of Being on the Lookout
Where Do You Go from Here?
Dousing the Flames of Adolescent Fires
Mothers Going Through Adolescence
Guidelines for a Mother's Reactions
Eleven Steps of Motherly Reassurance
A Test to See If You Feed the Seeds of Misunderstanding
Hints on How to Help Your Daughter Through Adolescence
Things You Want to Express Often
Actions You Should Undertake
How Your Daughter May Interpret Approval and Disapproval
Dressed in Black
Understanding and Controlling Risky Business
What Could She Possibly Be Thinking?
What Are the Important Issues to Confront?
What about S-E-X?
How Do You Handle Sex and Violence Vis a Vis E-Mail, the Internet, and TV?
Can More Discipline Solve the Problem?
Punishment and Grounding
A Case of Grounding
How Far Should a Mother Go?
Daughters, Out on Their Own
The Angst of Motherly Separation
A Tale of Good-Byes
Contemporary Send-Offs
Looking at the Delayed Generation
Parental Welfare: When Kids Expect Mom to Support a Yuppie Lifestyle
Rescues That Send Dangerous Messages
When to Give or Not Give Financial Help
Indicators of Adult Behavior
The Boomerang Affect
Serving Boomerang Style
How to Avoid Feathering the Nest
Good Rules for Adult Mothering
Adult Realities, Fodder for Strive and Worries
The Backdrop for Female Adulthood, Here and Now
Powerwoman Meets Man
Conflicted Views on Marriage
Moms and Their Young Adult Daughters, Generations in Conflict
Rejecting the Supermom Syndrome
Understanding Mom's Evaluation of It All
Discovering How Expression of Generation Differences Affect Your Daughter
Giving Moms Some Expert Advice
The Dynamics of Worry
A Mother's Worried Voice
Counterproductive Worries
How to Curb Your Worries
Daughters in Love, Time for a New Set of Motherly Instructions
What to Expect When Mr. Right Enters the Picture
Getting Over These New Humps
Reviewing a Mother-Daughter Laundry List of New Instructions
Marriage May Not Be the Next Step
Your Daughter's Love Problems, Do's and Don'ts
Kerry and Ann
Extracting the Lesson
A Quick Lesson to Learn for the Mother of the Bride
How to Keep Your Nose Out of Your Daughter's House
Topics Off-Limits for Moms
Guidelines for Daughters in Love
When Daughters Turn into Mothers
Do's and Don'ts for the New Mother's Mother
Tips on How to Be a Great Grandma
Establishing Patterns and Legacies
Fingerprinting Mother Types
Understanding How Mom Developed Her Mothering Style
Assessing Mother's Style
Profiling the Ideal Mother
Identifying Mothers with Warning Labels
When One Plus One Equals One
When Worry Is the All-Consuming Face of Motherhood
When the Critical Hand Keeps Shaking a Finger
When Mom Is Right in Her Daughter's Face
When Mom Vies for Equal Billing
When Mom Is Simply Too Good to Be True
Understanding the Smothering Mother
Legitimizing the Need to Protect
Controlling the Urge to Protect
Determining If You Are an Overprotective Mother
Mothers Meshing with Daughters
The Mother-Daughter Dilemma in a Nutshell
Describing the Core of the Dilemma
Getting Away from Your Mother Is Impossible!
The Positive Side of "Mother's Words"
Two Concrete Examples of the Positive Introject
The Negative Voice Within
Understanding "Mother Blame"
Determining Who Is to Blame
Setting Mom Up for Blame
Accepting the Blame, Moms Who Feel Guilty
Sprouting a Blame Cycle
Generating Energy for the Blame Cycle
Mothers Who Evoke a Special Brand of Anger
When Daughters Point the Finger of Blame
Anger Keeps the Blame Cycle in Motion
Fear Adds to the Emotional Uproar
Why Mothers and Daughters Drive Each Other Crazy
Temperament's Role in the Mother-Daughter Relationship
Temperamental Influences on a Mother's Attitude Toward Her Daughter
The Most Pleasing Personality Types
Mixes and Matches
Compliant or Defiant? That Is the Question!
Defiant Behaviors That Drive Mom Crazy
Origins of Defiant Daughters Whose Moms Make Them Nuts!
What to Do When Daughters Cannot Turn Down the Heat from the Maternal Introject
Emotional Hooks
Verbal Hooks
Feeling Guilty, One of the Most Potent Emotional Hooks
Fearing Guilt
An Initial Test of Your Mother-Daughter Relationship
Does Mom Have an Inalienable Right to Come to the Rescue?
The No-Win Triangle of Rescuers
The Fix-It Fixation
Beyond the Realm of Normalcy
Mothers and Daughters Within the Family Circle
The Family Circle
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Family Structures
Two Sides of Family Interaction
Mom, the Micromanager
Mom Tends to Play the Role of Gatekeeper
Mother's Role as Micromanager and Sentry May Change
Moms Shouldn't Dismiss Dad's Importance
Family Alliances
Dads + Daughters
Mom + Daughter
Sibling + Sibling
Mother + Son
Two Real-Life Dramas of Mother + Daughter Alliances
Alliances That Place Mom in Peril
Alliances Too Heavy for a Daughter's Delicate Shoulders
The "Big Four" That Affect a Daughter's Growth, Image, and Family Relationships
Understanding Sibling Rivalry
Understanding the Importance of Birth Order
Finding a Place in the Family Structure
Competing for the Place of Honor in Mom's Heart
Timing Is Everything
Act 2, the Daughter from Connecticut
An Era of New-Found Wisdom
The Age of Discovery
Daughters, Inside and Out
How Reliable Is Your Memory?
How Your Mom Remembers It
Mothers and Daughters Remember the Past Differently
What Happened to Mother's Little Angel?
If You're Not an Angel, What Are You?
Are You Hung Up on Approval?
Sorting Out Whose Got the Approval Problem
Realizing Your Mom Could Have the Approval Problem
Are These Negative Daughterly Emotions Normal?
Are Your Expectations Getting in the Way?
So What Are Reasonable Expectations?
Are You an Adult "Mother-Blamer"?
Who Is This Woman I Call Mother?
Motherly Wisdom Is Found over the Atlantic
Moms Must Work Harder at Relationships Than Daughters
What Most Daughters Think About Mom
What Mothers Need and Want
A Mother's Wish Come True
The Years Bring Positive Results
How Well Do You Know Your Mother?
Mom, the Martyr
Martyr Mothers and Daughters
Mom's Getting Older
Acknowledging the Positives of Age
Age with Wisdom
My Heroine
Exhibiting the Opposite of the Young-Old
Thinking About Relocating Home and Hearth
Understanding the Aging Woman
Mom's Personal Frustrations
Daughters Reactions and Concerns
Mother and Daughter, Creating a Plan Together
Getting Along with an Aging Mom
The Mother-Daughter Relationships That Fair Best in Later Years
When Duty Calls and Caretaking Is Not a Labor of Love
Moving into the Caretaking Stage
Shifting from Nursing Homes to a Daughter's Home
Caring for a Parent in Your Own Home
Understanding Expectations: Moms Expect Less and Daughters Expect More
Mothers and Daughters Living Outside the White Picket Fence
When the Table Prematurely Turns, Dependent Moms
The Climate of Adoption
Adoptions: The Relationship Side
Perceptions and Hindsight: An Adopted Daughter Speaks
Adoption: An Adoptive Mother Shares Her Story
Lesbian Daughters, Straight Moms
Accepting a Daughter's Sexual Preference
Coming to Terms, One Mother's Personal Story
Advice for Mothers and Daughters
Sharing Revelations, Making Adjustments
Assessing Your Mother-Daughter Relationship
Understanding the Levels of Emotional Attachment in a Mother-Daughter Relationship
The Health of Your Mother-Daughter Connection
Individual Health
Sample Health Problems
Bringing Expectations Out in the Open
Expecting Perfection
Exposing Turbulent Undercurrents
Recognizing the Intrusive Mom
A Bird's-Eye-View of the Cycle of Intrusion
The Effects of Intrusive Mothering
Determining If You're Caught in the Wheel of Mother-Blame
Drawing Conclusions
It's Time to Learn How to Talk
Who's Talking?
What Are They Saying?
Understanding Intimacy, the Real Bonus of Communication
Emotional Intelligence and How It Affects Your Mother-Daughter Communication
Mastering the Art of Verbal Communication
How to Refine Your Listening Skills
The Special Art of Talking to Teenagers
Talking Your Way Through Tenuous Times
Playing the Avoidance Game Two Can Play
When Mom Cannot Tell You How She Feels
When Talking Makes Up for Lost Time
Giving and Getting Advice
Mom, It's None of Your Business
When It's Safe for Advice Givers
Improve and Repair Exercises for Mothers and Daughters
Making Repairs and Improvements Takes Two
Don't Block the Attempt for Repairs
No One Should Beg for Forgiveness
Devising a New Belief System
Finding the Right Tools to Make Improvements and Repairs
Subjectivity, Not a Worthy Tool
Necessary Add-Ons to Your Normal Behavior
Studying the Anatomy of an Argument
How to Prevent Escalation
How to Extend Verbal Invitations for Resolutions
How to Arrive at a Resolution
Getting out from Under the Gloom of Blame
The Matter of Expectations
Questions for Reluctant Participants of the Expectations Exercise
Learning the Prerequisites for a Mature Relationship
Clearing the Air and Starting Over
Calling the Doctor
"Why Won't My Stepdaughter Let Me Be Her Mother?"
"What's a Gal to Do If Her Mother and Husband Don't Get Along?"
"Why Don't Your Mother and Husband Get Along?"
In the Meantime, Who Should Get Top Billing, Your Mother or Your Spouse?
"Will a Daughter Necessarily Be Negatively Affected If She Lives with One Parent and Not with Two?"
Facts, Not Fiction About Raising Children
The Victimhood Epidemic
"My Daughter Is Hanging Out with the Wrong Crowd. What Should I Do?"
Determining the Best Way to Approach Your Daughter
Taking Time Out for a Lesson in Values
"Am I Right or Wrong to Snoop into My Daughter's Private Affairs?"
Try Talking Before You Snoop
Knowing What to Look For
Learning More Telltale Signs of Significant Trouble
Determining What's Next
"Who Else Should Seriously Consider Therapy?"
"How Do I Find the Right Help?"
A Celebration of Mothers and Daughters
Alas, Mothers and Daughters as Friends
Is Friendship the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow?
Can You Divorce the Mother-Daughter Bit from Your Friendship?
Can Mothers and Daughters Be True Friends, or Just Peers?
Candidates for Heartfelt Friendships
Friendship Blockers
Is It Possible to Negotiate a Friendship?
Making Room for Other Friendships
Recognizing the Look of Friendship
Do You Pass the Friendship Test?
Role Models for One and All
Daughters Give Credit to Mom
A Model Mom Inspires Both a Daughter and a Granddaughter
Beating the Odds with a Model of Love and Wisdom
Step-Moms Can Learn by Margorie's Example
Tight Spots, a Role Model Mom Shares Her Survival Tips
Sally's Surprise Tight Spot
Sally's Self-Talks
Free to Be Me, Free to Be You
Single Moms, Proof of Success Is in the Pudding
The Icing on the Cake: Grandmothers and Granddaughters
Looking at Things from a Daughter's and Grandmother's Point of View
Presenting a Granddaughter
Presenting a Grandson
Becoming a Grandmother
Uncovering Grandma's Many Talents
Grandma's Unique Mixture
Grandma, Acting as a Backup
Ensuring Emotional Closeness
Maintaining Close Connection Despite the Distance
Making Every Visit Count
Enjoying Precious Moments and Memories
Hearing a Different Kind of Bedtime Story
Wearing a Name with Pride
Celebrating Holidays with Grandma
Bonding with Your Grandsons Is Just as Easy
Savored Moments and Memories
Beginning the Celebration
Creating Memories and Moments to Last a Lifetime
It's All in How You Read It--Together
Some Fresh Air Might Do You and Your Relationship Some Good
Building a Tribute to Our Mothers: The Chair Project
The Thoughts Behind Chairs for Our Mothers
Rediscovered Memories
Celebrating Mothers Everywhere and the Spirit That Unites Us
Proposing a Toast to My Daughters and All of Yours
Proposing a Toast to Our Moms
Appendixes
Suggested Reference Books on Early Childhood Development
Vocabulary Words
Index