| Preface to the First Edition | p. ix |
| Preface to the New Edition | p. xiii |
| A Personal Note | p. xv |
| Acknowledgments | p. xvii |
| Not To Be Afraid | p. 1 |
| Things Will Never Be the Same | p. 11 |
| Feelings of Guilt and Self-Blame | p. 19 |
| Unrealistic Guilt | p. 21 |
| Realistic Guilt | p. 25 |
| Moving beyond Guilty Feelings | p. 29 |
| Physical Expressions of Loss | p. 33 |
| Anxiety | p. 33 |
| Aches and Pains | p. 35 |
| Appetite | p. 36 |
| Sleep | p. 37 |
| Anger and Bitterness Can Be a Good Sign | p. 41 |
| Anger | p. 41 |
| Childhood | p. 43 |
| Interrupted Life | p. 46 |
| Protest | p. 47 |
| Dealing with Anger | p. 49 |
| What One Gets Is What One Resists | p. 55 |
| Delayed Mourning | p. 56 |
| Please Don't Misunderstand | p. 62 |
| The Importance of Self-Caring Activities | p. 68 |
| Friends | p. 69 |
| Empathic Persons | p. 71 |
| Basic Care Providers | p. 73 |
| Destructive People | p. 75 |
| Sexual Needs | p. 78 |
| Avoiding Major Decisions | p. 80 |
| Anticipating Difficult Days and Dates | p. 82 |
| Expecting Unexpected Trouble | p. 85 |
| A Slow Readjustment Back to Life and Work | p. 87 |
| Time Away from Work | p. 88 |
| Daily Routines | p. 89 |
| The Awful Kindnesses of Others | p. 92 |
| Unusually Prolonged Grief | p. 98 |
| Atonement Themes | p. 100 |
| A Suffering "Script" | p. 104 |
| A Fateful Constellation of Events | p. 107 |
| Idealization | p. 109 |
| When Professional Help Is Needed | p. 111 |
| My Story | p. 111 |
| A Soldier's Story | p. 113 |
| A Childhood Loss | p. 114 |
| Too Much Crisis All at Once | p. 115 |
| A Traumatic Loss | p. 116 |
| Unspeakable Grief | p. 119 |
| Finding Professional Help | p. 121 |
| Sometimes Medication Is Needed | p. 124 |
| Time Does Heal - But There Are Always Scars | p. 126 |
| Following Loss - the Fear of More or Still Greater Loss | p. 128 |
| Reliving Old Losses | p. 129 |
| Delayed Happiness | p. 131 |
| Some Survival Defenses Become a Way of Life | p. 132 |
| Battle Stripes | p. 134 |
| Cue Points for Evaluating Your Own Healing Process | p. 136 |
| The Ability to Cope with Life | p. 137 |
| Symbols of Transition | p. 138 |
| Learning from the Loss | p. 140 |
| Moving Forward | p. 142 |
| Integrating the Loss | p. 143 |
| From out of the Ashes...New Life | p. 146 |
| Resurrection | p. 148 |
| What You Have Experienced Belongs to You | p. 149 |
| Life Is What It Is | p. 152 |
| Moving forward: Stories of Hope and Triumph | p. 154 |
| Tony: Triumph in the Aftermath of 9/11 | p. 155 |
| Lynn: A Cluster of People Helped Her Triumph | p. 160 |
| Derek and Renée's Healing Journey | p. 163 |
| Appendix: Commonly Asked Questions about Crisis | p. 172 |
| Responding to Others | p. 172 |
| Helping a Bereaved Child | p. 178 |
| Why We Don't Cry | p. 181 |
| Loneliness | p. 182 |
| Nighttime Mourning | p. 183 |
| Denial | p. 184 |
| Suicidal Clues | p. 185 |
| Bitterness | p. 186 |
| Social Withdrawal | p. 187 |
| Prolonged Idealization | p. 188 |
| Abortion | p. 189 |
| Healthy Spirituality | p. 191 |
| Notes | p. 193 |
| For Further Reading | p. 201 |
| Index | p. 203 |
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