Preface to the First Edition | p. ix |
Preface to the New Edition | p. xiii |
A Personal Note | p. xv |
Acknowledgments | p. xvii |
Not To Be Afraid | p. 1 |
Things Will Never Be the Same | p. 11 |
Feelings of Guilt and Self-Blame | p. 19 |
Unrealistic Guilt | p. 21 |
Realistic Guilt | p. 25 |
Moving beyond Guilty Feelings | p. 29 |
Physical Expressions of Loss | p. 33 |
Anxiety | p. 33 |
Aches and Pains | p. 35 |
Appetite | p. 36 |
Sleep | p. 37 |
Anger and Bitterness Can Be a Good Sign | p. 41 |
Anger | p. 41 |
Childhood | p. 43 |
Interrupted Life | p. 46 |
Protest | p. 47 |
Dealing with Anger | p. 49 |
What One Gets Is What One Resists | p. 55 |
Delayed Mourning | p. 56 |
Please Don't Misunderstand | p. 62 |
The Importance of Self-Caring Activities | p. 68 |
Friends | p. 69 |
Empathic Persons | p. 71 |
Basic Care Providers | p. 73 |
Destructive People | p. 75 |
Sexual Needs | p. 78 |
Avoiding Major Decisions | p. 80 |
Anticipating Difficult Days and Dates | p. 82 |
Expecting Unexpected Trouble | p. 85 |
A Slow Readjustment Back to Life and Work | p. 87 |
Time Away from Work | p. 88 |
Daily Routines | p. 89 |
The Awful Kindnesses of Others | p. 92 |
Unusually Prolonged Grief | p. 98 |
Atonement Themes | p. 100 |
A Suffering "Script" | p. 104 |
A Fateful Constellation of Events | p. 107 |
Idealization | p. 109 |
When Professional Help Is Needed | p. 111 |
My Story | p. 111 |
A Soldier's Story | p. 113 |
A Childhood Loss | p. 114 |
Too Much Crisis All at Once | p. 115 |
A Traumatic Loss | p. 116 |
Unspeakable Grief | p. 119 |
Finding Professional Help | p. 121 |
Sometimes Medication Is Needed | p. 124 |
Time Does Heal - But There Are Always Scars | p. 126 |
Following Loss - the Fear of More or Still Greater Loss | p. 128 |
Reliving Old Losses | p. 129 |
Delayed Happiness | p. 131 |
Some Survival Defenses Become a Way of Life | p. 132 |
Battle Stripes | p. 134 |
Cue Points for Evaluating Your Own Healing Process | p. 136 |
The Ability to Cope with Life | p. 137 |
Symbols of Transition | p. 138 |
Learning from the Loss | p. 140 |
Moving Forward | p. 142 |
Integrating the Loss | p. 143 |
From out of the Ashes...New Life | p. 146 |
Resurrection | p. 148 |
What You Have Experienced Belongs to You | p. 149 |
Life Is What It Is | p. 152 |
Moving forward: Stories of Hope and Triumph | p. 154 |
Tony: Triumph in the Aftermath of 9/11 | p. 155 |
Lynn: A Cluster of People Helped Her Triumph | p. 160 |
Derek and Renée's Healing Journey | p. 163 |
Appendix: Commonly Asked Questions about Crisis | p. 172 |
Responding to Others | p. 172 |
Helping a Bereaved Child | p. 178 |
Why We Don't Cry | p. 181 |
Loneliness | p. 182 |
Nighttime Mourning | p. 183 |
Denial | p. 184 |
Suicidal Clues | p. 185 |
Bitterness | p. 186 |
Social Withdrawal | p. 187 |
Prolonged Idealization | p. 188 |
Abortion | p. 189 |
Healthy Spirituality | p. 191 |
Notes | p. 193 |
For Further Reading | p. 201 |
Index | p. 203 |
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