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| Introduction | |
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| The Great Secret: The Real Reason for Marriage Problems | |
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| Our Spouses Are Not the Cause of How We Feel and Behave | |
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| Real Love-The Essential Ingredient for Happiness and Success in Every Marriage | |
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| What We Use Without Enough Real Love-Imitation Love | |
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| What We Do Without Enough Love (Real or Imitation)-Getting and Protecting Behaviors | |
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| The Destructive Effect of Getting and Protecting | |
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| Exercises | |
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| The First Steps to Success in Marriage: When the Head Understands, the Heart Can Follow | |
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| Eliminating the Mystery of Human Behavior | |
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| Changing Our Feelings About Other People with a Knowledge of Getting and Protecting Behaviors | |
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| Eliminating Our Own Unproductive Feelings of Guilt | |
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| Overcoming the Frustration of Trying to Change Other People | |
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| Identifying What We Need to Change About Ourselves | |
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| The Law of Expectations | |
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| Exercise | |
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| Taking Action: Finding and Sharing Real Love | |
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| The Tale of the Wart King and the Wise Man | |
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| How to Recognize and Find Real Love: Truth[right arrow] Seen[right arrow] Accepted[right arrow] Loved | |
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| Telling the Truth About Yourself to Your Spouse | |
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| Telling the Truth About Yourself to People Other Than Your Spouse | |
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| The Power of Real Love | |
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| Sharing Real Love | |
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| Loving Acts | |
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| Exercises | |
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| The Great Wars: How to Eliminate Conflict from Your Marriage | |
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| Realize That It's Always About Real Love | |
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| Listen | |
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| Never Speak in Anger | |
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| Tell the Truth About Yourself | |
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| Tell the Truth About Your Partner | |
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| Recognize What You Really Want | |
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| Remember the Law of Choice | |
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| Determine How You and Your Partner Can Both Get What You Want | |
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| Refuse to Be in Conflict | |
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| Preventing Conflict | |
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| Mental Illness | |
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| Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) | |
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| Other Contributors to Conflict | |
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| Exercises | |
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| The Unique Union: How Marriage Is Different from Other Relationships | |
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| The Expectations of Marriage: Natural but Deadly | |
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| The Real Purpose of Marriage | |
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| Exercise | |
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| Making It Work: The Power of Requests and Agreements | |
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| Realize That Real Love Is Always the Most Important Thing | |
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| Ask, Don't Demand | |
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| Make Requests Clear and Specific | |
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| Listen and Accept | |
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| Modify Your Requests When Necessary | |
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| Refusal of Your Request | |
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| Agreements and Expectations | |
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| Making Agreements | |
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| Exercises | |
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| Into the Lion's Mouth: Communicating Your Spouse's Mistakes | |
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| Why You Tell Your Spouse the Truth About Himself or Herself | |
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| When to Tell Your Spouse the Truth About Himself or Herself | |
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| When Not to Tell Your Partner the Truth | |
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| How to Tell Your Spouse the Truth About Himself or Herself | |
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| When Your Spouse Is Telling You the Truth About You | |
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| Exercise | |
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| The Agony and the Ecstasy: Sex in Marriage | |
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| Sex As a Form of Imitation Love | |
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| Great Sex in Marriage | |
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| The Physical Techniques of Great Sex | |
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| Resolving Conflicts About Sex | |
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| Infidelity | |
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| Exercises | |
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| When It's Over: Divorce | |
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| Understanding Divorce | |
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| Preventing Divorce | |
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| Making the Decision to Divorce | |
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| Making Decisions About Divorce in the Absence of Children | |
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| Responding to Divorce Initiated by Your Spouse | |
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| Talking About Your Divorce | |
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| What About the Children? | |
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| The Actual Divorce | |
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| After the Divorce | |
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| Exercises | |
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| Conclusion | |
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| Additional Resources | |
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| Acknowledgments | |
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| Index | |