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| Introduction: How This Book Can Help You | |
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| Open Your Mind | |
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| What Starts a Conflict? What Makes It Grow? | |
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| Conflict Triggers | |
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| Willingness Lets You Put the Brakes on Conflict | |
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| What Happens When You're NOT Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | |
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| What Are Your Willingness Blocks? | |
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| What Happens When You ARE Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | |
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| Basement or Balcony--Your Choice | |
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| Decide to Become a Conflict Solver | |
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| What Conflict Makers Do | |
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| What Conflict Solvers Do | |
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| Where Do You Stand? | |
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| When the Other Person Isn't Willing | |
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| Fake It Till You Make It | |
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| Team Earth Needs Your Help | |
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| "Yes, But" Questions | |
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| What to Do When Your Friends Have Conflicts | |
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| Are You Ready to Be a Conflict Solver? | |
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| Become a Better Listener | |
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| NOT Listening Fuels Conflicts | |
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| Listening Is Your Path to Personal Power | |
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| Check Out Your Listening | |
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| Try the Bad Listening/Good Listening Game | |
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| Listen So You Really Understand: Reflective Listening | |
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| Play the "Sounds Like ..." Game | |
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| Using Reflective Listening When There's a Conflict: Two Examples | |
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| Good Listening Builds Good Relationships | |
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| Use Win/Win Guidelines | |
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| Cool off | |
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| Talk the problem over using I-messages | |
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| Listen while the other person speaks, and say back what you heard | |
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| Take responsibility for your part in the conflict | |
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| Brainstorm solutions and choose one that's fair to both of you | |
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| Affirm, forgive, thank, or apologize to each other | |
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| Putting It All Together | |
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| "Yes, But" Questions | |
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| Be a Role Model | |
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| Manage Your Anger and Gain Control | |
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| What Are Your Anger Pitfalls? | |
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| Why Do So Many People Have Trouble Managing Anger? | |
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| Three Secrets to Getting a Handle on Anger | |
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| Decide Not to Get Hooked | |
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| Make Yourself Zinger-Proof | |
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| Protect Yourself from Other People's Angry Vibes | |
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| When Anger Leads to Physical Fighting | |
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| Take Control | |
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| Learn to Manage Stress and Stay Calm, Cool, and Confident | |
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| Do You Know Your Stress Signals? | |
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| What's on Your Mind? Find the Calm Confidence Within You | |
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| More Ways to Stay Calm and Cool | |
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| De-Stress with Yoga and Meditation | |
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| Choose Calmness | |
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| Be Smart About Bullying | |
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| Teasing versus Bullying: What's the Difference? | |
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| Eight Ways to Stop Teasing | |
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| Why Do People Bully? Is It Really Such a Big Problem? | |
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| Self-Check: Are You Bullying or Harassing Anyone? | |
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| What to Do If You've Bullied Others | |
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| What to Do If Someone Is Bullying You | |
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| "Yes, But" Questions | |
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| Bullying and Sexual Harassment | |
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| Choose to Be a Peacemaker | |
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| Build Yourself Up from the Inside Out | |
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| Follow a Day-by-Day Plan | |
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| Strengthen Your Courage Muscle | |
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| Strengthen Your Forgiveness Muscle | |
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| Observe Yourself | |
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| Observe Others | |
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| Believe in Yourself | |
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| Resources for You | |
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| Working Out Conflicts Survey | |
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| References | |
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| Index | |
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| About the Author | |
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| List of Reproducible Pages | |
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| My Conflict Triggers | |
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| Conflict Log | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 1 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 2 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 3 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 4 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 5 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 6 | |
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| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 7 | |