Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love

ISBN-10: 0312303017

ISBN-13: 9780312303013

Edition: 2002 (Revised)

Authors: Scott P. Sells

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Book details

List price: $17.99
Copyright year: 2002
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publication date: 10/11/2002
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 368
Size: 5.50" wide x 8.00" long x 1.25" tall
Weight: 0.946
Language: English

Scott P. Sells, PhD, is Professor of Social Work at Savannah State University and Clinical Director of the Savannah Family Institute. He has treated more than 800 difficult children and adolescents, has spoken nationally on this topic, and has published a number of related journal articles. His 6-week educational program for parents of difficult children and teenagers, Parenting With Love and Limits(TM), has been adopted as a standard model in Virginia; Ohio; and Savannah, Georgia. His website is at:

Introduction: Do You Know This Teenager?
Understanding Why Your Teen Is Out of Control
Top 7 Reasons for Teen Misbehavior
Unclear Rules
Not Keeping Up with Your Teen's Thinking
Teenager Drunk with Power
The Pleasure Principle
Peer Power
Misuse of Outside Forces
A Road Map of Defeat and a New Highway to Success
The Left Fork in the Road: "I Will Not Take Charge" p24
The Right Fork in the Road: "I Will Take Charge"
The Third Fork in the Road: Fake It Until You Make It
Writing an Ironclad Contract with Clear Rules and Consequences
Why Your Current Contracts Fail
How to Write a Contract That Works
Tackle Only One or Two Problems at a Time
Convert Problems into Concrete Rules
Create a Well-Written Consequence
Use Both Positive and Negative Consequences
Put the Written Contract Together
Include Your Teenager's Input and Expertise
Be Consistent in Following Through
Catch Your Teen Doing Something Right
Troubleshooting: How to Think Two Steps Ahead of Your Teenager
Coming Up with Plan B When Plan A Fails
Anticipate What Your Teen Will Do Next
Troubleshoot Underlying Family Problems
Button Pushing: Why Your Teen Wins Arguments
Find Your Parental Buttons
Find Your Teenager's Buttons
Button-Buster Techniques
Stopping Your Teenager's Seven Aces: Disrespect, Truancy, Running Away, Teen Pregnancy, Alcohol or Drug Abuse, Violence, and Suicide Threats
Clearly Define Disrespect
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Two Can Play at That Game
A Hierarchy of Consequences
Lavish Praise and Appreciation
Do the Unexpected
The Pawn Broker
Truancy or Failing Grades
Work Collaboratively with the School
Positive Praise and Recognition
The Pawn Broker for School Issues
Attending School
Home Schooling or Switching Schools: A Last Resort
Running Away
Figure Out Why Your Teen Runs Away
Use Your Teen as an Expert
The Stealth Bomber Consequences
The Gandhi Consequence
Teen Pregnancy or Sexual Promiscuity
Build Your Teen's Self-Esteem
Talk to Your Teen About Sex
Closely Monitor Internet Use and Abuse
Contractual Contraception
Real Teens, Real Stories
Alcohol or Drug Abuse
Find Out How Often Your Teenager Is Using
The Prime Suspect
Underage Posters and Shadowing
Fines and Misdemeanors
Invade Your Teen's Privacy
Relapse Is Normal; Prepare for It
Spiritual Anchors and Nurturance
It Takes a Village to Help a Drug Addict
Address Any Underlying Family Issues
Threats or Acts of Violence
The Nonviolent Town Meeting
The Old MacDonald Consequence
A Cowritten Antiviolence Contract
Monitor Your Teen Closely
Accountability and the Police
Nurturance: The Antivenin of Violence
Threats of Suicide
The Risk of Suicide
A Twenty-four-hour Watch
An Antisuicide Contract
There Is Strength in Numbers: How to Mobilize Outside Helpers Like Friends, Neighbors, and Police Officers
Know the Playing Field
Mobilizing Friends or Neighbors
Mobilizing Churches, Synagogues, and Extended Family
Getting Help from Child Protective Services (CPS) or the Police
Mobilizing Counselors
Working with Institutions (Schools, Hospitals, Foster Care, and Probation Officers)
Mobilizing Your Teen's Peer Group
Reclaiming Love Between You and Your Teenager
The Fine Line Between Love and Hate
Timing Is Everything
Emotional Warm-ups
Five Toxic Behaviors That Poison Your Relationship with Your Teen
Six Strategies to Reclaim Love Between You and Your Teenager
Special Outings
Accept Underlying Feelings
The Power of Hugs
Be the First to Restore Good Feelings
Give Your Teen Opportunities to Regain Trust
Creating Soft Talk
The Next Step What to Do If These Steps Fail or You Experience Special Circumstances: Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamily, or Teen Emotional Problems
Get Support on the Internet and in Your Own Town
Understanding the Complexities of Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamilies, and Teenage Emotional Problems
Single Parenthood
Difficult Divorces
Stepfamily Issues
Teenage Emotional Problems
Final Thoughts
Choosing the Right Counselor for You
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