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| About the Author | |
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| Acknowledgments | |
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| The Announcement | |
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| Turning Loss into Gain | |
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| Then "Why Am I Hesitating? | |
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| Being Out of Control of "Making It Better" | |
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| What to Say and What Not | |
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| So You've Already Blown It | |
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| Your Personal, Private Fears | |
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| Isn't Adoption Really Just Long-Term Temporary Care? | |
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| Bonding | |
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| But They'll Be So Different from Us! | |
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| What about Race? | |
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| Can Older or Disabled Children "Fit"? | |
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| Open Adoption? We Don't Want to Share! | |
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| Will I Be the "Real Grandparent"? | |
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| What If It Doesn't Work? | |
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| How Adoption Works: The Facts vs the Myths | |
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| "Just Relax: After Adopting, You'll Get Pregnant" | |
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| How People Adopt | |
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| Statistics | |
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| The Kids | |
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| The Cost | |
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| Changing Practice�Open Adoption vs Confidential Adoption | |
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| The Homestudy/Family Preparation | |
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| Getting Ready | |
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| The Wait | |
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| International | |
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| Special Needs Placements | |
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| Domestic Infant Placement | |
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| Respecting Privacy Boundaries | |
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| Pregnant by Adoption | |
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| Health Care for Expectant Adopters | |
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| The Sympathetic Pregnancy | |
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| Nesting | |
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| They're Back? | |
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| Practical Preparation�Expecting by Adoption | |
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| Home at Last! | |
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| Naming as Claiming | |
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| Arrival Issues | |
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| Circling the Wagons | |
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| The Baby Blues | |
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| Parenting in Adoption | |
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| Age at Arrival Issues | |
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| Infancy | |
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| Toddlerhood | |
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| Pre-School and Elementary School-Aged Kids | |
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| Teens | |
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| The Post-Institutionalized Child | |
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| Adoption Issues through a Lifetime | |
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| In Infancy and Toddlerhood | |
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| At School | |
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| In Adolescence | |
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| In Adulthood | |
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| Expanding the Family Culture | |
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| Family Heritage�Stories, Traditions, and Heirlooms | |
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| Understanding and Including Your Grandchild's Birthfamily | |
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| Special Issues | |
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| When You Were Adopted Yourself1 | |
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| If You Were Adoptive Parents, Too | |
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| When Your Kids Are New Parents at "Grandparent Age" | |
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| When This Is a Second Marriage | |
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| Foster Grandchildren | |
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| Adoption and the Rest of the World | |
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| Recognizing Adoptism�Your Own and Others' | |
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| Adoption in the Media | |
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| Adoption Language | |
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| Adoption Awareness Month | |
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| How You Can Learn More | |
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| Books, Newsletters, Magazines | |
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| Internet Sites | |
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| Support Groups | |
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| Conferences | |
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| An Addendum: Top Five "Hot Buttons" Not to Push! (Or Open Mouth, Extract Foot) | |
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| "What about the money?" (Didn't your mother teach you it 'was bad manners to talk about money, politics and religion?) | |
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| "Adoption connections aren't real connections anyway!" (Do you really want to say "You can do better than this?") | |
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| "Adoptedpeople are 'flawed."' (The bad seed myth or racism) | |
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| "Didn'tyou know that..." (Ignorance isn't bliss in personal relationships) | |
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| "Now you'll get pregnant! They always do." | |
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| Index | |