Getting Free You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life

ISBN-10: 1580051227
ISBN-13: 9781580051224
Edition: 4th 2004
Authors: Ginny NiCarthy
List price: $17.00 Buy it from $3.94
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Book details

List price: $17.00
Edition: 4th
Copyright year: 2004
Publisher: Seal Press
Publication date: 10/14/2004
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 464
Size: 6.00" wide x 9.50" long x 1.00" tall
Weight: 1.342
Language: English

Introduction to the New Edition
Who this Book is for and How to Use it
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Important Tools to Help You Understand Your Situation
How to Read this Book
Making the Decision to Leave or Stay
Social and Political Aspects of Abuse
The History of Battering
The Masculine Role
Why Do Men Batter?
The Female Role
Why Do Women Stay?
Why Do Men Stay?
What Can Be Done?
Marriage and the Family: New and Traditional Values
What is a Family?
The Family in Perspective
Who Are You Listening To?
What is Important to You?
Weighing the Pros and Cons
Is it Ever Right to Break Up the Family?
Where Do Your Guilt Feelings Come From?
Suicide and "Cracking Up"
What About the Children?
Child Abuse
What Do the Children Deserve?
What Do You Owe Yourself?
Are You Somebody Besides Wife, Mother, or Girlfriend?
Reading His Feelings, Reading Yours
"What if it's Really my Fault?"
What Do You Deserve?
Getting Respect in the Workplace (at Home and on the Job)
Understanding What You Both Deserve
"But I Still Love Him"
What Does Being in Love Mean?
Romantic Love
Addictive Love
Nurturing Love
Reasons for Leaving Someone You Love
Making the Decision
How Serious are You?
What's the Worst That Can Happen if You Leave?
What's the Worst That Can Happen if You Stay with the Man?
Balancing the Scales
Making a Commitment to Stay
Leaving to Protect Yourself
Preparing to Leave Permanently
Getting Professional Help
The Problem of Sexism
Emergency Help from Doctors, Police, and Prosecutors
Medical Help
Police Intervention
How to Get the most Effective Police Response
When Will Police Make an Arrest?
Cooperating with the Prosecutor
What the Prosecutor Can and Can't Do
Dealing with the Prosecutor
How Can You Keep the Batterer Away?
Making Legal Decisions
When Should you Hire a Lawyer?
Divorce
Child Custody
Property Division, Alimony, and Child Support
Costs and Benefits of Support from the Man
Other Legal Problems
Interviewing the Lawyer
Evaluating the Lawyer
Getting Help from a Counselor
What Do You Want from a Counselor?
Finding a Counselor
The First Counseling Session
The Special Case of a Sexist Counselor
Advantages of a Woman Counselor
How to Evaluate the Counselor
Helping Yourself to Survival
You Can be Your Own Counselor
Changing How You Talk to Yourself
What did You Do Right Today?
What are You Telling Yourself?
The Difference Between the General and the Specific
Evaluate Your Rules
A Courageous Act a Day
The Uses of Denial
Unconvering Your Fears
Redefine the Task
Take Credit for Each Courageous Act
Be Good to Yourself
Be Physically Self-Supportive
An End to Isolation
How Critical of Others are You?
Start with the People You Know
Meeting New People
Choosing Jobs, Classes, Organizations
Reaching Out
Risking the First Steps
Getting to Know People on the Job
Getting to Know People in Classes and Organizations
Moving from Acquaintances to Friends
How Much do You Confide in a New Friend?
Getting Help from the Family
After You Leave
The First Week
Staying in a Shelter for Battered Women
Staying with Friends or Relatives
Staying Alone
Groups for Abused Women
Contact with the Man Who Battered You
Coping with Fear
Loneliness
Protecting Yourself and the Children
Visitation
Contact with the Batterer
What You Can Do for the Children
Children's Reactions to Violence and Separation
The Practical Questions of Welfare and Housing
Welfare
Other Benefits
The Housing Search
Shared Housing
Questions for a Potential Housemate
The Economics of Single Life
Paid Employment
Getting Ahead on the Job
How to Budget Your Income and Expenses
Working from a Budget
Home Maintenance
Overcoming Financial Ignorance
Sexuality
Learning to Trust Your Experience
Sexuality Isn't Just Sex
Lesbianism
The New Romance
What Are You Looking for in a Partner?
What If You Keep Finding the Same Kind of Man?
Giving Up Control
Protecting Yourself
The Long Haul
Learning to Cope with Loneliness
You Make Your Own Life
What Can You Do Now?
The Ones Who Got Away
The Ones Who Got Away
Life with the Batterer
The Unexpected
The Good Outweights the Bad
Getting Through the Stressful Days
Help Comes from Unexpected Sources
Advice to Women in Abusive Relationships
Hindsight
Advice to You if You're Thinking of Going Back
Life is Better Now
Special Challenges
Emotional Abuse
Understanding the Chart of Coercion
Problems of Identifying Abuse
Identifying Emotional Abuse and Using Getting Free to Diminish It
Making Changes
Teen Abuse
How Common is Teenage Battering?
How to Tell if You're Abused
Who's Responsible for the Violence?
What to do if You're Hit
Ending the Relationship
How to Use Getting Free
What Can a Parent Do?
Lesbian Abuse
The Question of Who is Battering
The Nature of Lesbian Battering
How to Use Getting Free
Emergency Services
Ending Isolation
Immigrant Women: Challenges and Solutions
Advocates for Abused Immigrant Women
Assessing Danger
Safety Plan for Staying or Leaving
To Call the Police or Not
When the Police Don't Come: Planning an Emergency Escape
Divorce of Separation from Your Partner: Immigration Status
People's Ideas and Actions Change
Life in the United States
Religious Challenges
Are You Abused?
Politics and Culture: Religious Interpretations
Consultations: Religious and Domestic-Violence Authorities
Sex Abuse
Divorce
The Urge to Forgive
Communities Protect Victims and Hold Offenders Responsible
Stopping the Cycle of Abuse
Men Who Batter: Can They Change?
Why Does He Do It?
Entitlement and Control
Is Change Possible?
Do Programs Work?
How to tell if the Program is Working for Your Partner
Nurturing Your Children: Safety and Resilience
Safety Whether You Leave or Stay
Children's Visits with Their Father
How Violence Affects Children
Helping Children Who Have Witnessed Violence
Moving Forward: What Communities Can Do
Danger If You Stay, Danger If You Leave: The Statistics
Bad News Gives Birth to a Movement Against Battering
Medical Costs
Child-Protection Costs
Costs to Business
Moving Forward
Resources
Notes
Suggested Reading
Internet Resources
Tips and Wheels
Index

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