| Acknowledgments | p. vii |
| Introduction: Intimacy in Relationships | p. 1 |
| What are Boundaries? | p. 5 |
| Why Boundaries? | p. 7 |
| Characteristics of Persons with Healthy Boundaries | p. 23 |
| Where We Learn Boundaries | p. 29 |
| Developmental Stages | |
| Mary Beth's Story | |
| The Family System | |
| Growing Up in a Functional Family | |
| Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family | |
| Dysfunctional Family Roles | |
| Dysfunctional Family Rules | |
| Summary | |
| Consequences of Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family | p. 43 |
| Mike's Story | p. 53 |
| Relational Boundaries | p. 57 |
| Boundary Violations Against God | |
| Boundary Violations Against Self | |
| Boundary Violations Against Others | |
| Authorities, Subordinates, and Peers | |
| Roles in Relationships | |
| Spiritual Boundaries | p. 75 |
| The Spiritual Impact of All Abuse | |
| Kinds of Authorities | |
| The God Factor | |
| Abusive Religious Systems | |
| Abusive Religious Practices | |
| Physical Boundaries | p. 89 |
| Physical Body Space | |
| Invisible, Psychological Space | |
| Characteristics of the Abused Child | |
| Are You an Abusive Person? | |
| Sexual Boundaries | p. 97 |
| Kinds of Sexual Violations | |
| Aftereffects | |
| Are You a Sexaholic? | |
| Test Yourself | |
| Emotional Boundaries | p. 107 |
| Emotional Health and Boundaries | |
| Strong Emotional Boundaries | |
| Weak Emotional Boundaries | |
| The Avoidance of Pain | |
| Feelings | |
| Thoughts and Feelings | |
| How We Violate Emotional Boundaries | |
| Being Responsible | |
| Models of Unhealthy Boundaries | p. 131 |
| Functional and Relational Boundaries | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Close | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Distant | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Close and Too Distant | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Rigid | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Flexible | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Permeable | |
| Boundaries That Are Too Impermeable | |
| Types of People with Boundary Issues | p. 143 |
| Compliants | |
| Avoidants | |
| Compliant Avoidants | |
| Controllers | |
| Non-Responsives | |
| Controller Non-Responsives | |
| Resolving the Losses | p. 155 |
| Forgiveness | p. 167 |
| Maintenance | p. 177 |
| Source Notes | p. 179 |
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