Secret Life of Families Truth-Telling, Privacy, and Reconciliation in a Tell-All Society

ISBN-10: 0553100947

ISBN-13: 9780553100945

Edition: N/A

Authors: Evan Imber-Black
List price: $23.95
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Description: When do I have the right to keep a secret?  Who has a responsibility to open a secret?  How do I know the time is right to maintain a secret or to open it?  How do I make it safe for myself and others?  What are my obligations to the people I love where secrets are concerned? An HIV-positive man fears losing his job if his health status becomes known. . . . A wife keeps a secret bank account. . . . A husband has an affair. . . . A teen refuses to say where she goes at night. . . . Secrets come in all shapes and sizes.  And for families as well as individuals, they are built on a complex web of shifting motives and emotions.  But today, when personal revelations are posted on the Internet or sensationalized on afternoon talk shows, we risk losing touch with how important secrets are--how they are used and abused, their power to harm and to heal. In fact, what we choose to share or to keep silent about can affect, for better or worse, our health, our work, our relationships, our future.  Evan Imber-Black eloquently and compassionately describes how to maintain a balance between candor and caution to ensure that secrets remain a creative rather than a destructive force in our lives.  She helps us understand: The distinction between healthy privacy and toxic secrecy What to tell--and not to tell--young children How to safely confront a family "zone of silence" Why adolescents need to have some secrets--and where to draw the line The role of gender, race, religion, and class in shaping our secrets The effect of "official" secrets, like sealed adoption records and medical testing What to consider before revealing an important secret And much more Filled with moving first-person stories, The Secret Life of Families provides perspective on some of today's most sensitive personal and social issues.  It is a book that gives voice to our deepest fears and to our power to overcome them--a book that will be talked about for years to come.

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Book details

List price: $23.95
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 3/2/1998
Binding: Hardcover
Pages: 336
Size: 6.25" wide x 9.00" long x 1.25" tall
Weight: 1.100
Language: English

Evan Imber-Black, PhD, is internationally known for her pioneering work on rituals, larger systems, and family secrets. She is Professor and Director of Family and Group Studies, Department of Psychiatry, Albert Einstein College of Medicine. Dr. Imber-Black is the editor of the highly acclaimedSecrets in Families and Family Therapy, author ofFamilies and Larger Systems, and coauthor ofRituals for Our Times: Celebrating, Healing, and Changing Our Lives and Our Relationships(with Janine Roberts).

Acknowledgments
Preface
Living the Dilemmas
The Sculpture of Family Secrets: How Secrets Shape Relationships
The Secret Society
"We Know What's Best for You to Know": Secrets and Institutional Arrogance
Talk Show Telling Versus Authentic Telling: The Effects of the Popular Media on Secrecy and Openness
Concealing and Revealing: Choices and Changes
Self-Secrets
Making and Breaking Commitments: Couples, Intimacy, and Secrets
Balancing Candor and Caution: Secrets Between Parents and Young Children
Private Investigations: Secrets Between Teens and Parents
It's Never Too Late: Revisiting Long-Held Secrets Among Parents, Grown Children, and Adult Siblings
Afterword
Notes
Index
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