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| Foreword | |
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| Introduction | |
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| Who Needs to Read This Book? | |
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| Foolish Assumptions | |
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| About This Book | |
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| How This Book Is Organized | |
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| Preparing to Negotiate | |
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| Getting Your Point Across | |
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| Getting Past the Glitches to Close It Up | |
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| Conducting Cross-Cultural and Complex Negotiations | |
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| The Part of Tens | |
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| Icons Used in This Book | |
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| Where to Go from Here | |
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| Preparing to Negotiate | |
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| Negotiating for Life | |
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| When Am I Negotiating? | |
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| The Six Basic Skills of Negotiating | |
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| Prepare | |
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| Set goals and limits | |
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| Listen | |
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| Be clear | |
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| Push the pause button | |
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| Closing the deal | |
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| Handling All Sorts of Negotiations | |
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| When negotiations get complicated | |
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| International negotiations | |
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| Negotiations between men and women | |
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| Negotiation on the phone and via the Internet | |
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| Knowing What You Want and Preparing to Get It | |
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| Creating Your Vision | |
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| Envisioning your future | |
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| Making a commitment | |
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| Identifying your values | |
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| Deciding How You Are Going to Achieve Your Vision | |
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| The three-year plan | |
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| Putting your plan into action | |
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| Preparing Yourself for Negotiation | |
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| A is for Alert | |
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| Dressing for success | |
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| Walking through the door | |
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| Leaving enough time | |
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| Defining Your Space | |
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| Negotiating on your home turf | |
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| Seating with purpose | |
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| Planning the environment far in advance | |
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| Mapping the Opposition | |
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| Identifying the Person Conducting the Negotiation | |
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| Filling Out the Information Checklist | |
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| Determining the Negotiator's Level of Authority | |
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| Finding the Negotiator's Key Client | |
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| Aiming to please | |
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| Making it personal | |
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| Focusing on the Negotiator's Interests | |
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| Recognizing faults that can trip you up | |
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| Preparing is essential, even if it's someone you know | |
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| Knowing the Marketplace | |
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| Gathering Information: The One with the Most Knowledge Wins | |
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| Browsing the Internet | |
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| Visiting the library | |
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| Shopping the competition | |
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| Asking questions | |
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| Reading insider reports | |
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| Consulting Consumer Reports | |
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| Playing Detective and Evaluating Info | |
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| Solving the mystery of value | |
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| Recognizing agendas: The source shades the results | |
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| Staying informed | |
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| Preparing from the General to the Specific | |
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| Time | |
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| Quality | |
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| Quantity | |
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| Changes | |
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| Risk | |
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| Strategic relationship | |
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| Setting Goals | |
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| Setting a Good Goal | |
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| Getting active participation from every team member | |
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| Keeping the goals on course | |
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| Setting the right number of goals | |
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| Setting specific rather than general goals | |
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| Setting challenging yet attainable goals | |
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| Prioritizing your goals | |
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| Separating Long-Range Goals from Short-Range Goals | |
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| Setting the Opening Offer | |
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| Breaking the Stone Tablet | |
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| Setting and Enforcing Limits | |
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| What It Means to Set Limits | |
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| Setting Limits in Three Easy Steps | |
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| Know that you have other choices | |
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| Know what the other choices are | |
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| Know your "or else" | |
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| Enforcing Your Limits | |
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| Write down your limits | |
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| Establish your resistance point | |
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| Tell your team the limits | |
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| Never paint yourself into a corner | |
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| Practicing Negotiating toward a Limit | |
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| How to Tell the Other Party When You're the One Walking Away | |
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| The Consequences of Not Setting Limits | |
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| Re-examining Your Limits | |
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| Sometimes, the Best Deal in Town Is No Deal at All | |
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| Getting Your Point Across | |
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| Listening - Really, Truly Listening | |
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| Two Quick and Easy Starter Tips to Better Listening | |
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| Six Barriers to Being a Good Listener | |
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| The defense mechanism | |
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| Weak self-confidence (the butterflies) | |
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| The energy drag | |
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| Habit | |
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| The preconception | |
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| Not expecting value in others | |
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| Becoming a Good Listener | |
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| Clear away the clutter | |
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| Take notes | |
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| Ask questions | |
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| Count to three | |
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| Wake yourself up | |
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| Listening Your Way up the Corporate Ladder | |
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| Asking the Right Questions | |
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| Tickle It Out: The Art of Coaxing Out Information | |
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| Battling the jargon | |
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| Clarifying relativity | |
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| Asking Good Questions: A Real Power Tool | |
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| Avoid intimidation | |
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| Ask, don't tell | |
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| Avoid leading questions | |
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| Don't assume anything | |
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| Ask open-ended questions | |
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| Ask again | |
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| Use your asks wisely | |
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| Accept no substitutes | |
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| Dealing with Unacceptable Responses | |
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| Don't tolerate the dodge | |
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| Don't accept an assertion for the answer | |
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| Don't allow too many pronouns | |
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| Look for Evidence of Listening | |
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| Listening to Body Language | |
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| Everybody's Bilingual | |
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| It's written all over your face | |
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| Silent signals from the rest of the body | |
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| Remember to listen | |
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| What Our Bodies Can Say | |
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| Matching your body language with your words | |
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| Reading someone else's body language | |
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| Interpreting conflicting messages | |
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| Emphasizing with body language | |
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| Using Your Knowledge of Body Language in Your Next Negotiation | |
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| Knowing where to stand | |
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| Making the first contact | |
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| Showing that you're receptive (and knowing if your counterpart isn't) | |
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| Seeing a change of heart | |
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| Ferreting out boredom | |
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| Wearing your confidence on your sleeve | |
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| Closing the deal | |
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| Don't Believe Everything You See | |
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| Different strokes for different folks | |
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| Consider the context | |
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| Prepare for the bluff | |
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| Tuning In to Your Inner Voice | |
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| The Origins of Your Inner Voice | |
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| The conscious and subconscious mind | |
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| Left brain vs. right brain | |
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| Processing Information for decision making | |
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| Bringing Out Your Inner Voice | |
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| Quieting your mind | |
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| Brainstorming | |
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| Heeding Special Messages | |
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| Shady characters | |
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| Questionable deals | |
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| Pre-buyer's remorse | |
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| Being Crystal Clear: Telling It Like It Is | |
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| What Being Clear Means | |
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| Organizing Your Thoughts for Clarity | |
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| P.R.E.P. for a presentation | |
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| Outline your points | |
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| Tell 'em once, tell 'em twice, tell 'em again | |
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| Tips for Being Clear | |
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| Know your purpose or goals | |
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| Cut the mumbo-jumbo | |
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| Keep your commitments | |
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| Write it down | |
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| Try being a journalist | |
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| Steering Others to Clarity | |
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| Tangent people | |
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| Interrupters | |
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| Unprepared people | |
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| Too busy to be clear | |
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| Capturing an Audience | |
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| When You Have to Say No | |
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| Barriers to Clarity | |
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| Fear of rejection | |
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| Fear of hurting someone else | |
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| General distractions | |
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| The High Cost of Not Being Clear | |
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| The highest cost of all | |
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| Deals that disappear | |
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| The prices you pay without even knowing | |
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| Worst case: The deal closes | |
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| Phrases You Should Never Use during a Negotiation | |
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| "Trust me" | |
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| "I'm going to be honest with you" | |
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| "Take it or leave it" | |
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| "You'll never work in this town again" | |
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| A slur of any kind | |
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| How to Really Garble Communication | |
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| Raise your voice | |
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| Leave out details | |
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| Don't check to see if you were understood | |
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| Walk away and talk at the same time | |
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| Assume that everyone understands you | |
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| Don't permit any objections or questions | |
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| Getting Past the Glitches to Close It Up | |
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| Pushing the Pause Button to Turn Off the Hot Buttons | |
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| Defining the Pause Button | |
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| Telling the Other Person That You Need a Pause | |
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| Checking with the boss: A classic that needs a little prep | |
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| Taking notes now for pauses later | |
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| Coming up with a few pause buttons | |
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| Knowing When to Pause | |
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| Pausing before a concession | |
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| Pausing under pressure | |
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| If You're Not the Only One to Pause | |
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| Dealing with Your Hot Buttons and Other Emotional Responses | |
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| Identifying your hot Buttons | |
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| Pushing the pause button on anger | |
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| Expressing enthusiasm | |
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| Employing a positive attitude | |
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| Acting assertively | |
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| Dealing with discouragement | |
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| Handling Stressful Situations | |
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| At War with yourself | |
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| Stop, look, and listen...before you have a meltdown | |
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| Dealing with Difficult People and Situations | |
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| Office Pests | |
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| Responding to offensive behavior | |
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| Handling the passive-aggressive co-worker | |
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| Staying in control during a meeting | |
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| Personality Types That Block Closing | |
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| The bully | |
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| The screamer | |
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| The star or the boss | |
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| The biased buyer | |
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| Closing the Deal and Feeling Good About It | |
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| Good Deals, Bad Deals, and Win-Win Negotiating | |
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| Assessing the deal | |
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| Creating win-win deals | |
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| Concessions vs. Conditions | |
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| What It Means to Close a Deal | |
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| Understanding the Letter of the Law | |
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| Legal definition of a closed deal | |
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| Offers and counteroffers | |
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| Written versus oral contracts | |
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| Legal protection before the contract | |
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| Recognizing When to Close | |
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| Knowing How to Close | |
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| The good closer | |
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| The only three closing strategies you'll ever need | |
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| Using linkage to close | |
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| Barriers to Closing | |
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| Overcoming fears | |
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| Overcoming objections | |
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| Closing When It's All in the Family | |
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| When the Deal Is Done | |
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| Review the process | |
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| Set up systems for checking the system | |
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| Remember to celebrate! | |
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| When the Deal Just Won't Seem to Close | |
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| Overcoming the Glitches | |
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| Dirty Tricks That Torment | |
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| A constant change of position | |
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| Good cop, bad cop | |
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| The invisible partner | |
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| The double message | |
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| Nickel and diming | |
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| "Let's split the difference and be done" | |
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| The hidden agenda | |
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| Addressing Red Flags That Come Up When It's Time to Close | |
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| "If you accept this price, I'll have a lot more work for you in the future" | |
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| "We're in such a rush, why don't we start without a contract?" | |
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| "We're such good friends, let's get started right away" | |
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| Dealing with a Bad Negotiating Environment | |
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| Managing Conflict When the Deal Won't Close | |
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| The Ultimate Glitch: Someone Walks Away | |
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| If the other party walks away | |
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| If the other party comes crawling back | |
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| If one of your competitors walks away | |
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| If you're the one walking away | |
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| Starting All Over Again | |
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| Conducting Cross-Cultural and Complex Negotiations | |
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| International Negotiating | |
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| Understanding "Culture" Before You Negotiate Across the Globe | |
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| Respecting cultural differences | |
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| Speaking like a native when you aren't | |
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| Directing your research to the right culture, subculture, or individual | |
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| Preparing for a Negotiating Session with Someone from Another Culture | |
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| Deciding whom to invite | |
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| Hiring an interpreter | |
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| How quick to the kill? | |
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| If a meal is involved | |
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| Listening Around the World | |
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| Listening in Bali | |
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| Listening in America | |
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| Listening in Japan | |
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| Speaking to Foreigners | |
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| Observing Body Language | |
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| Overcoming Unique Issues in International Negotiations | |
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| Choice of language | |
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| Currency fluctuations | |
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| Time differences | |
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| Closing Around the World | |
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| Good ol' U.S. of A | |
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| Middle East | |
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| Japan | |
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| Negotiating with the Opposite Sex | |
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| Conversing Between the Sexes | |
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| Bridging the gap | |
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| Tips for women | |
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| Tips for men | |
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| Four Strategies for Women Who Want Men to Hear Them | |
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| Avoid apologies | |
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| Be brief | |
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| Be direct; don't hint | |
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| Avoid emotional displays | |
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| Four Strategies for Men Who Want Women to Hear Them | |
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| Don't be condescending | |
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| Share before deciding | |
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| Share something personal | |
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| Avoid emotional displays | |
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| Negotiating with Your Spouse, Your Boss, or Your Most Important Customer | |
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| How negotiations within long-term relationships are different | |
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| Tips for negotiating in long-term relationships | |
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| Special preparations | |
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| Complex Negotiations | |
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| The Elements of a Complex Negotiation | |
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| Handling the media | |
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| Controlling your emotions | |
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| Taking a vote | |
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| Dealing with multiple parties at the table | |
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| Wading through multiple issues | |
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| Putting Your Skills to Work in Complex Negotiations | |
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| Prepare | |
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| Set goals, set limits | |
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| Listen | |
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| Be clear | |
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| Push the pause button | |
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| Closing | |
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| Building Your Team | |
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| Going Back for More: The Renegotiation | |
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| A scheduled renegotiation | |
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| An unscheduled renegotiation | |
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| A conditionally scheduled renegotiation | |
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| But I like the contract and I think it's fair | |
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| Blind Negotiating: Telephone and Internet | |
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| Putting in the Call | |
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| Getting past the gatekeeper | |
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| Leaving a message | |
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| Hitting "0" | |
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| Wording your voice mail greeting | |
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| Assembling the Participants for a Telephone Chat | |
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| Gathering in front of the telephonic campfire | |
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| Conferencing with your own equipment | |
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| Hiring outside help | |
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| Making the Most of Your Telephone Negotiation | |
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| Crisp beginnings | |
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| When the meeting starts | |
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| Speaking with authority | |
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| Questions to ask on the telephone | |
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| Shaking hands over the phone | |
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| Negotiating via E-Mail | |
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| The Part of Tens | |
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| Ten Personality Traits of Top Negotiators | |
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| Empathy | |
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| Respect | |
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| Personal Integrity | |
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| Fairness | |
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| Patience | |
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| Responsibility | |
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| Flexibility | |
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| Sense of Humor | |
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| Self-Discipline | |
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| Stamina | |
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| Ten Key Negotiations of Your Life | |
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| Asking for a Raise | |
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| Buying a Used Car | |
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| Buying Engagement and Wedding Rings | |
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| Planning a Wedding | |
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| Buying a Home | |
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| Negotiating a Home Improvement Contract | |
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| Negotiating a Divorce Settlement | |
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| Negotiating about Naptime, Curfew, Dessert, and Other Childhood Necessities | |
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| Preparing to negotiate with your kids | |
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| Setting limits for minors | |
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| Listening to your kids | |
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| Parenting with clarity | |
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| Pushing the parental pause button | |
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| Closing with kids | |
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| Choosing Medical Care for an Incapacitated Parent | |
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| Buying Funeral Services | |
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| Index | |