Let's Pretend This Never Happened A Mostly True Memoir

ISBN-10: 0399159010

ISBN-13: 9780399159015

Edition: 2012

Authors: Jenny Lawson
List price: $25.95 Buy it from $3.00
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Description: For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris-Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father (a professional taxidermist who created dead-animal hand puppets) and a childhood of wearing winter shoes made out of used bread sacks. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. Lawson's long-suffering husband and sweet daughter are the perfect comedic foils to her absurdities, and help her to uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments-the ones we want to pretend never happened-are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. Let's Pretend This Never Happenedis a poignantly disturbing, yet darkly hysterical tome for every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud. Like laughing at a funeral, this book is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started. AUTHOR BIOS: Known for her sardonic wit and her hysterically skewed outlook on life, Jenny Lawsonhas made millions of people question their own sanity, as they found themselves admitting that they, too, often wondered why Jesus wasn't classified as a zombie, or laughed to the point of bladder failure when she accidentally forgot that she mailed herself a cobra. Her blog (www.thebloggess.com) is award-winning, extremely popular, and she is considered to be one of the funniest writers of our generation by at least three or four people.

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Book details

List price: $25.95
Copyright year: 2012
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 4/17/2012
Binding: Hardcover
Pages: 336
Size: 6.25" wide x 9.25" long x 1.00" tall
Weight: 1.584
Language: English

Introduction
I Was a Three-Year-Old Arsonist
My Childhood: David Copperfield Meets Guns & Ammo Magazine
Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel
Don't Tell Your Parents
Jenkins, You Motherfucker
If You Need an Arm Condom, It Might Be Time to Reevaluate Some of Your Life Choices
Draw Me a Fucking Dog
And That's Why Neil Patrick Harris Would Be the Most Successful Mass Murderer Ever
No One Ever Taught Me Couch Etiquette
Just Your Average Engagement Story
It Wasn't Stew
Married on the Fourth of July
There's No Place Like Home
A Series of Helpful Post-it Notes I Left Around the House for My Husband This Week
The Dark and Disturbing Secrets HR Doesn't Want You to Know
If You See My Liver, You've Gone Too Far
My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking
Phone Conversation I Had with My Husband After I Got Lost for the Eighty Thousandth Time
And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a Serial Killer
Thanks for the Zombies, Jesus
Making Friends with Girls
I Am the Wizard of Oz of Housewives (In That I Am Both "Great and Terrible" and Because I Sometimes Hide Behind the Curtains)
The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door
An Open Letter to My Husband, Who Is Asleep in the Next Room
Just to Clarify: We Don't Sleep with Goats
Stabbed by Chicken
It Wasn't Even My Crack
Honestly, I Don't Even Know Where I Got That Machete: A Comic Tragedy in Three Farts Days
I'm Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest
And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles
Hairless Rats: Free for Kids Only
And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane
You Can't Go Home Again (Unless You Want to Get Mauled by Wild Dogs)
Epilogue
The End (Sort of)
True Facts
Acknowledgments
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