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| Preface | |
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| You Are Not Alone | |
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| How to Use This Book | |
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| Write Us | |
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| The Pros and Cons of Being a Caregiver | |
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| Do You Want This Job? | |
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| Making the Eldercare Decision | |
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| If Eldercare Is Not for You | |
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| If You Decide to Care for Your Parent | |
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| Handling That First Crisis | |
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| The Effects on Your Family, Time, and Health | |
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| What If You Fail? | |
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| Knowing When Your Parents Need Help | |
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| What's Normal? | |
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| Loss of Loved Ones, Friends, and Advisors | |
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| Loss of Self | |
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| Loss of Independence and Control | |
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| Decline Is a Fact of Life | |
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| Why Parents Refuse Help | |
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| Difficult Parents | |
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| What Are the Warning Signs? | |
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| Memory Loss/Dementia | |
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| Diminished Hearing | |
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| Diminished Sight | |
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| Falls | |
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| Incontinence | |
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| Self-Neglect | |
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| Drug or Alcohol Abuse | |
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| Intervention: When? What? How? | |
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| Trusting Your Instincts | |
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| Planning Ahead | |
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| When Not to Intervene | |
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| Getting a Professional Assessment | |
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| Private Assessments | |
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| Public Assessments | |
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| Talking to Your Parents | |
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| Talking to Your Family | |
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| Choosing the Right Intervention | |
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| Preventive Intervention | |
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| Partial Intervention | |
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| Total Intervention | |
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| Crisis Intervention | |
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| Legal/Financial Intervention | |
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| Taking the Car Away | |
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| Providing Substitute Transportation | |
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| Caregiving Realities | |
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| Do You Have Realistic Expectations? | |
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| Understanding Your Responsibilities | |
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| Learning to Be an Advocate | |
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| Hands-on Care | |
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| Supervising Others | |
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| Financial Management | |
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| Recruiting Friends and Family | |
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| Using the Skills You Already Have | |
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| Where to Get the Training You Need | |
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| Long-Distance Caregiving | |
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| Why You Need a Long-Distance Support System | |
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| Creating Your Long-Distance Support Network | |
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| Geriatric Care Managers | |
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| Elder Law Attorneys | |
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| Other Attorneys | |
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| Physicians | |
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| Friends and Neighbors | |
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| Preparing for Your Visit | |
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| During Your Visit | |
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| After Your Visit | |
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| Finding and Using Help and Services | |
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| What's the Right Support System for You? | |
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| Identifying Your Needs | |
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| Adult Day-Care Programs | |
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| Social-Model Day-Care Programs | |
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| Medical-Model Day-Care Programs | |
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| Medical Support | |
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| Family Support | |
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| Community Support | |
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| Parent Support | |
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| Significant Other Support | |
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| Respite | |
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| Handling Burnout | |
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| How Do You Know If You're Burned Out? | |
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| Getting Help | |
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| Reaping the Benefits of Respite | |
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| Managing Your Time | |
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| Restoring Your Quality of Life | |
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| Taking Care of Yourself | |
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| Setting Limits | |
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| Managing Medical Issues | |
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| Learning to Be an Advocate in the Doctor's Office | |
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| Choosing a Doctor | |
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| Board-Certified Physicians | |
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| Geriatricians | |
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| Specialists | |
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| Preparing for the Visit | |
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| Gathering Medical and Insurance Information | |
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| Bringing Medications and Prescriptions | |
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| Asking the Right Questions and Getting the Answers | |
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| After the Visit | |
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| Complying with Physicians' Orders | |
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| Getting a Second Opinion | |
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| Returning for New Treatment Options | |
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| Understanding Patients' Rights and Responsibilities | |
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| Overseeing Medications | |
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| Administering Medications | |
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| Keeping Track of Medications | |
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| Developing a Relationship with the Pharmacist | |
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| Pain Management | |
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| Misuse of Medications | |
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| Abuse and Dependency | |
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| Over-the-Counter and Alternative Medications | |
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| Managing Benefits and Insurance | |
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| Why It's Worth the Effort | |
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| What to Do When a Claim Is Denied | |
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| Medicare | |
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| How It Works: Parts A, B, and C | |
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| Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) | |
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| Point of Service (POS) | |
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| Preferred Provider Organization (PPO) | |
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| Medigap (Private Insurance) | |
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| Medicaid | |
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| How It Works | |
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| Applying for Benefits | |
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| Social Security | |
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| Special Situations | |
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| Survivor Benefits | |
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| Veteran's Administration | |
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| How It Works | |
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| Who Is Eligible | |
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| Dealing With Serious Illness | |
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| Insisting on an Accurate Diagnosis | |
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| Managing Major Illness | |
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| The Importance of a Second Opinion | |
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| Researching Treatment Options | |
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| Coping with Specific Conditions | |
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| Depression and Anxiety | |
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| Dementia | |
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| Agitated, Hostile, and Aggressive Behavior | |
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| Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS, in the Elderly | |
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| Coping with Alzheimer's Disease | |
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| Facts about the Disease | |
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| Testing and Diagnosis | |
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| Treatment Options | |
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| The Effects on Your Family | |
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| What to Expect as the Disease Progresses | |
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| Organizing to Handle Mild Memory Impairment | |
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| Primary Communication Tips and Coping Skills | |
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| Remember Your Body, Mind, and Spirit | |
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| Planning for the Future | |
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| When Hospitalization is Necessary | |
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| Facing Your Fears | |
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| Choosing the Right Hospital | |
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| Being Prepared | |
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| Emergency Admissions | |
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| Preplanned Admissions | |
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| What to Bring with Your Parent, What to Leave at Home | |
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| During Your Parent's Hospitalization | |
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| Planning for Discharge | |
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| Leaving the Hospital | |
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| Detecting and Dealing with Elder Abuse | |
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| The Realities of Elder Abuse | |
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| Finding Help in Your Community | |
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| Protective Services for Adults | |
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| Guardians | |
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| Physical Abuse | |
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| Familial Abuse | |
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| Financial Abuse | |
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| Homecare Abuse | |
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| Social Abuse of Drugs and Alcohol | |
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| Rebuilding Trust | |
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| Ageism | |
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| How to Hire a Homecare Worker | |
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| What Are Your Options | |
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| Family Caregivers | |
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| Paid Homecare Workers | |
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| Geriatric Care Managers | |
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| Evaluating Your Parent's Needs | |
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| Duties and Skill Levels | |
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| Expectations: Reality Check | |
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| Interviewing the Homecare Worker | |
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| Legal and Professional Certifications | |
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| Training and Experience | |
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| Supervising Homecare Workers | |
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| Your Responsibilities | |
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| Your Right to Complain and Replace the Worker | |
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| Making Decisions About Housing: When? What? How? | |
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| Evaluating the Need for Change | |
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| Safety and Quality-of-Life Issues | |
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| Guilt Issues | |
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| Adapting Your Parent's Home for Safety and Security | |
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| Assistive Devices and Helpful Equipment | |
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| Moving Your Parent into Your Home | |
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| Space and Territory | |
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| Adapting Your Home | |
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| Adult Homes | |
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| Assisted Living Facilities | |
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| Nursing Homes | |
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| Moving Your Parent | |
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| Who Does What? | |
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| Paring Down Your Parent's Belongings | |
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| Advocating after the Move | |
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| Visiting Your Parent | |
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| Evaluating the Move to a Nursing Home | |
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| Making a Difficult Decision | |
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| Choosing the Right Nursing Home | |
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| Location | |
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| Religious Preferences | |
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| Dietary Requirements | |
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| Specialized Care | |
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| Cleanliness | |
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| Activities for Residents | |
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| Who's Who in the Complaint Process | |
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| Medication/Pain Management | |
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| Patient Advocate and the Bill of Rights | |
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| Moving to a Nursing Home | |
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| Making the Room Comfortable | |
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| Clothing | |
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| Valuables and Personal Items | |
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| Dating, Sex, and Remarriage | |
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| Your Parent's New Relationship | |
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| Remarriage | |
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| Financial/Legal Issues | |
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| Dating, Love, and Intimacy | |
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| Sexuality and Sex | |
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| Safe Sex | |
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| Death and Dying | |
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| Facing Your Feelings and Fears | |
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| What Are Your Parent's Feelings and Fears? | |
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| Honoring Your Parent's Wishes | |
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| Funeral Arrangements | |
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| Grief and Mourning | |
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| Saying Good-bye | |
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| A New Beginning | |
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| Caregiver Organizations and Resources | |
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| Notes | |
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| Glossary | |
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| Index | |