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| Author's Note | |
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| Acknowledgments | |
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| Introduction | |
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| In a Family Way | |
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| Goodbye, Dr. Spock | |
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| Trophy Children | |
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| Why Henry the Duck Moved On | |
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| Creating Havoc | |
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| The Deep End | |
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| Pacing the Sidelines | |
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| The Dinner Hour | |
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| Time Management Can't Start Too Young | |
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| John, Paul, George, and Ringo | |
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| Don't Go Retro on Me | |
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| Pregnancy and Motherhood, Multiplication and Division | |
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| Equal Opportunities: A Pause for a Brief Nine-and-a-Half Month Interlude from the Perspectives of a Pregnant Woman and Her Husband | |
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| Some of the Only Stories that Matter | |
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| The Stork Parks Here | |
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| As Natural as Childbirth | |
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| If I Don't Worry, Who Will? | |
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| Mother: The Movie | |
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| Marital Relationships | |
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| Broken Molars | |
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| Ants and Grasshoppers | |
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| Shopping for China | |
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| Ulysses S. Grant Sends His Regrets | |
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| My Husband, the Psychologist | |
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| Sunday Brunches | |
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| Men and Women, Women and Men | |
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| Fireworks | |
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| The Laws of the Jungle | |
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| Men and Machines and the Women Who Love Them | |
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| Chick Flicks: Crying Is Its Own Reward | |
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| Whipped Cream Rules | |
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| Splitting Votes | |
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| Holidays, Seasons, and Other Special Occasions | |
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| The Science of Love | |
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| The Most Beautiful Words | |
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| Just Another First Day of School | |
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| The Christmas Spirit | |
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| Holiday Newsletters, Round 1 | |
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| Holiday Newsletters, Round 2 | |
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| Holiday Newsletters, Round 3 | |
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| Cultural Trends | |
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| Stunt Doubles--Why Not? | |
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| Tales of the Telecommuter | |
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| First Names and Formalities | |
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| Pardon Me If I Sit | |
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| The Optimism Police | |
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| Letters for Sale | |
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| Martha Stewart and Me | |
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| Catch-Alls | |
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| Madonna Tells All | |
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| My Favorite Governmental Bodies | |
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| The Real Marriage Penalty | |
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| The IRS Speaks Softly | |
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| Empowering and Humanizing the IRS | |
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| Job Advice from Monica Lewinsky | |
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| Don't Mess with My State | |
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| Stuck | |
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| The Tree in the Middle of the Street | |
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| Autumn Happened Last Thursday | |
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| Traveling Lightly | |
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| Riding with the Road Warrior | |
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| Disadvantage Miles | |
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| Carefully Wrapped Packages | |
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| All Work | |
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| I Don't Get Tough, Mr. Gittes | |
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| Rejection Builds Character | |
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| Survival Tips for the Book Festival World | |
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| Mr. Smith's Wife | |
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| Temporary Help | |
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| Too Damned Many Growth Experiences | |
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| The Fortune Cookies | |
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| The Words We Remembered | |
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| The Waiting Room | |
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| Chase Keller (1982-2000) | |
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| Spring Stories | |
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| Confessions | |
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| Uprootings | |
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| Celebrity Interviews Are So Unfair! | |
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| Good Neighbors and Bad | |
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| Whose Pain Are You Feeling? | |
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| I'm So Glad You Asked | |
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| In Praise of Proper Punctuation | |
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| Aging--But Forget About the "Gracefully" Part | |
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| This Is Liberation? | |
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| Chains Around My Neck | |
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| My Hollywood Career Is Over | |
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| Let'em Flap | |
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| Moving On | |
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| The Imperative Tense | |
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| The Time Capsule | |
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| A Car Pool of Boys | |
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| Heavenly Bodies | |
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| On the Market | |
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| A Trip on Christmas Eve | |
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| Music I'd Almost Forgotten | |