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Introduction | |
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Welcome to the Jungle: Your First Steps Into Adventure | |
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Kink? What Is This Kink Thing? | |
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Who Is Into Kink? | |
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Why Are People Into Kink? | |
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Why Join the Community? | |
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Choose Your Own Adventure | |
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Does This Flogger Make My Ass Look Fat?: Kink Etiquette, Kink Culture | |
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A Gathering of Tribes vs. a Monolithic "Community," | |
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Dispelling a Few Myths | |
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Myths Within the Community | |
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Courtesy and Respect | |
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Personal Responsibility | |
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Check Your Assumptions | |
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Language, Names and Social Styles | |
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Maintaining Privacy: Yours and Mine | |
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So Many Choices! Events, Groups and Gatherings | |
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Which Event Is Right for You? | |
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Can/Should You Join This Group? | |
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Finding Events | |
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Types of Events | |
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Munches, Brunches &: Meetups | |
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Fetish/Club Nights and Dance Parties | |
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Leather Bars and Kink Cafes | |
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Fetish Balls and Performance-Based Events | |
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Private/ House Parties | |
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Exploratoriums, Samplers & Tastings | |
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Local Classes &. Education | |
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Public Dungeons, SM Clubs and Play Spaces | |
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Private Dungeons, SM Clubs and Play Spaces | |
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Fetish Nights at Swinger Clubs/Bathhouses | |
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Club Operations, Boards & Meetings | |
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The Big Hotel Event | |
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Kinky Camping, Runs and Retreats | |
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Shopping and Swap Meets | |
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Pride Parades and Street Festivals | |
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Leather Contests and Title Competitions | |
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Intensive Education | |
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Leadership Conferences and Alternative Academia | |
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When Kink is Just a Slice | |
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Faith and Spirituality Gatherings | |
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Virtual Communities and Gatherings | |
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Other Major Categories of Events | |
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…And Even More? | |
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The Pre-Game Plan: Planning, Budgeting, Packing and Getting There | |
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Planning | |
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Budgeting | |
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Packing Your Bags! | |
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Getting There | |
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Male New Friends (and Keep the Old): Keeping It Hot without Burning Bridges | |
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Preparing For Successful Networking | |
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In-Person Connections | |
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Managing Your Virtual Self | |
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Lasting Connections | |
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But It Followed Me Home!: Pre-Event Negotiation And Planning | |
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Setting Frameworks Before You Go | |
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Pre-Event Preparation | |
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Prep For Relationships | |
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Styles of Partnered Attendance | |
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Consent | |
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Communication Systems | |
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Involving Other People | |
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Find Your Systems and Stick By Them | |
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Unicorns, Trolls and Other Creatures: Behavior Awareness in Kink Communities | |
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Mythical Creatures Are Mythical | |
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Emotional Traps | |
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Physical Pitfalls | |
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Social Snares | |
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People Are People, Everywhere | |
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Oh the Places You'll Go!: Dungeons, Play Spaces and Erotic Arenas | |
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Understanding the Space | |
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Laws of the Land | |
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Dungeon Dos and Don'ts | |
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Wanna Do Some Stuff?: Negotiating For Play | |
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Who To Negotiate With | |
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What And Why To Negotiate | |
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Setting Play Dates | |
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Even Perverts Get The Blues: Staying Healthy (and Happy) at Events | |
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Managing Needs, Wants and Desires | |
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Con Drop and Con Crud | |
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Refraining "Negative" Experiences | |
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Transitioning with Grace: Back In the Default World | |
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Real World? Fantasy World? | |
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Transition Tools and Techniques | |
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Who to Tell, What to Tell | |
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Honoring Your Journey | |
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Afterword | |
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Kink Lingo Glossary | |
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Kink Flags and Symbols | |
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Better Know Your Hanky Code | |
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Flags | |
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Symbols | |
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Items/Clothing/Props | |
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Negotiation Tools | |
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Before We Play | |
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Playcard | |
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Before We Play Questionnaire | |
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Before we Play Checklist and Extended Questionnaire | |
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Further Resources | |
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Non-Fiction Books | |
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Websites and Social Media | |
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Sources of Kinky Inspiration | |
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Out To Your Doctor?: Talking To Health Care Professionals, by Barak, RN | |
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Understanding STDs and STIs: Sexual Expression and Infection Control, by Scotty Thomson | |
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Sex, Gender, Identity, Orientation and Behavior, by Aiden Fyre and Lee Harrington | |
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Relationships Beyond Labels: Some Terminology You May Encounter, and What It May (Or May Not) Mean, By Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy | |
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SM vs. Abuse, by Jay Wiseman | |
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Is it a Cult?: The Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame (version 2.6), by Isaac Bonewits | |
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Pocket Reference to Dealing With Law Enforcement, provided by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Law Enforcement Outreach Program, www.ncsfreedom.org | |
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Thanks/Acknowledgments | |
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About the Authors | |