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Staying in Bounds Straight Talk on Boundaries for Effective Ministry

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ISBN-10: 0827234813

ISBN-13: 9780827234819

Edition: 2010

Authors: Eileen Schmitz

List price: $19.99
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Description:

Boundaries are healthy and necessary parts of life and ministry. Staying in Bounds provides straight-talk guidance to ministers, leaders of churches and other faith-based organizations and ministries on the what, why, and how of relational boundaries. This book develops the concept of boundaries from psychological and theological perspectives, discusses the benefits of boundaries, and then explains the importance of healthy boundaries in the church. Guidance is provided on the identification, implementation, and enforcement of healthy boundaries, with a special focus on ministry settings.
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Book details

List price: $19.99
Copyright year: 2010
Publisher: Chalice Press
Publication date: 9/1/2010
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 224
Size: 6.00" wide x 8.75" long x 0.50" tall
Weight: 0.748
Language: English

Eileen Schmitz serves as Director of PASTORCareSM for Personal Assistance Services, a counseling and life management firm. She is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Missouri and provides consultation and counseling services to pastors, their families and parishioners from many denominational traditions who face challenges in life, ministry and faith. Eileen's great passion is to help people integrate their faith into their daily lives, experience a deep and vibrant relationship with God and pursue what is good: to act justly, love kindness and walk humbly with God.

Introduction
Foundations
The Stories
Robert: The Ornament
Beth: Good Neighbors
Joe: Special Friends
David: Golf Buddies
Maryann: The Power of Prayer
Sam: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Katrina: Supervisor or Pastor?
Ann: A Parishioner Tells Her Story
A Psychological Framework for Boundaries
The Purpose of Boundaries
How Boundaries Develop
Optimal Individuation Is an Ideal
Individuation Is a Lifelong Process
Individuation and Dependence
Individuation and Boundaries
Basic Characteristics of Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries Protect Us from Harm
Boundaries Prevent Us from Harming Others
Boundaries Take into Account Competencies and Limitations
Growth Requires Humility
A Theological Basis for Boundaries
"What is truth?"-Pilate
In the Beginning
Justice and Mercy
Natural Law
The Advent of the Covenant of Law
The Second Adam-The Covenant of Grace
Boundaries in God's Image
Boundaries Are God's Idea
Intrinsic and Imposed Boundaries
We Don't Need to Take on God's Responsibilities
God Has Good Boundaries
The Importance of Right Boundaries with God
Boundaries Are Essential to Love
Boundaries in the Body of Christ
Life Can Be Painful
Relationships Make Us Human
Finding God in Our Brokenness
Staying Healthy in a Ministry of Healing
One Body, Many Parts
Sacrifice or Bad Stewardship?
Good for the Goose, Good for the Gander
Boundary Building Blocks
Know Yourself
The Challenge of Knowing Yourself
The Danger of Hiding from Yourself
The Quest to Know Yourself
Personality Organization
Character and Temperament
Facing God, Facing Ourselves
In Pursuit of Truth
Is It Hopeless?
Confronting Shame, Confronting Sin
The Deception of Half-Truths
Getting at the Truth
Spiritual Practices
Personal Practices
Relational Practices
The Measure of Our Character
Jesus Loves Me, This I Know
Why Do I Do That?
The Results of What I Do
Turning Ourselves Around
The Measuring Stick
The Measure of God's Grace
Boundary Applications in Ministry
Straight Talk on Power
Power and Responsibility
The Hope That Is in Us
Implicit Trust
Idealization
Intimacy
Prayer
Spiritual Authority
Preaching
Administrative Role
A Weighty Responsibility
Traits That Become Distorted by Power
A Note on Predatory Behavior
Protecting Your Boundaries
Beware!
Guardrails
Power and Vulnerability
When Parishioners Attempt to Renegotiate the Relationship
When Boundaries Seem Blurry
Role Confusion
Bound(aries) by the Law?
Flexible Boundaries vs. Blurry Boundaries
How to Prevent Slipping Off the Slope
The Ubiquitous Pastor
The Temptation of Too Much Transparency
Moving from Blurry Boundaries to Balanced Boundaries
Sexual Misconduct and the Not-So-Blurry Boundary
The Prevalence of Clergy Sexual Misconduct
Child Sexual Abuse
Defining Clergy Sexual Misconduct
How the Fog Moves In
From Blurry Boundaries to Over the Edge
Emotional Affairs: "At Least I Never Crossed the Line!"
Pornography: Clergy Sexual Abuse with a Nameless Victim
Protection from the Seduction of Pornography
Real-Life Boundaries in Real-Life Ministry
Personal and Physical Boundaries
Relational Boundaries
Priorities
Time Management
Personal Life
Family
Dual Roles with Parishioners
Boundaries in Communication
Affection in the Body of Christ
Friendship, Favors, and Gifts
Dating a Parishioner
Boundaries in Counseling
Beginnings and Conclusions
Boundaries Begin with You
Establish, Maintain, and Monitor Your Boundaries
Healthy Pastor, Healthy Church
Help! I Stepped Out of Bounds
Not Just Out of Bounds: When a Pastor Goes Over the Cliff
The Promise of God's Compassion, Healing, and Presence
Notes