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Introduction | |
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Foundations | |
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The Stories | |
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Robert: The Ornament | |
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Beth: Good Neighbors | |
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Joe: Special Friends | |
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David: Golf Buddies | |
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Maryann: The Power of Prayer | |
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Sam: Loose Lips Sink Ships | |
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Katrina: Supervisor or Pastor? | |
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Ann: A Parishioner Tells Her Story | |
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A Psychological Framework for Boundaries | |
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The Purpose of Boundaries | |
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How Boundaries Develop | |
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Optimal Individuation Is an Ideal | |
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Individuation Is a Lifelong Process | |
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Individuation and Dependence | |
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Individuation and Boundaries | |
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Basic Characteristics of Healthy Boundaries | |
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Boundaries Protect Us from Harm | |
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Boundaries Prevent Us from Harming Others | |
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Boundaries Take into Account Competencies and Limitations | |
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Growth Requires Humility | |
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A Theological Basis for Boundaries | |
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"What is truth?"-Pilate | |
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In the Beginning | |
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Justice and Mercy | |
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Natural Law | |
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The Advent of the Covenant of Law | |
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The Second Adam-The Covenant of Grace | |
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Boundaries in God's Image | |
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Boundaries Are God's Idea | |
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Intrinsic and Imposed Boundaries | |
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We Don't Need to Take on God's Responsibilities | |
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God Has Good Boundaries | |
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The Importance of Right Boundaries with God | |
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Boundaries Are Essential to Love | |
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Boundaries in the Body of Christ | |
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Life Can Be Painful | |
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Relationships Make Us Human | |
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Finding God in Our Brokenness | |
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Staying Healthy in a Ministry of Healing | |
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One Body, Many Parts | |
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Sacrifice or Bad Stewardship? | |
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Good for the Goose, Good for the Gander | |
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Boundary Building Blocks | |
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Know Yourself | |
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The Challenge of Knowing Yourself | |
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The Danger of Hiding from Yourself | |
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The Quest to Know Yourself | |
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Personality Organization | |
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Character and Temperament | |
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Facing God, Facing Ourselves | |
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In Pursuit of Truth | |
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Is It Hopeless? | |
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Confronting Shame, Confronting Sin | |
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The Deception of Half-Truths | |
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Getting at the Truth | |
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Spiritual Practices | |
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Personal Practices | |
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Relational Practices | |
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The Measure of Our Character | |
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Jesus Loves Me, This I Know | |
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Why Do I Do That? | |
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The Results of What I Do | |
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Turning Ourselves Around | |
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The Measuring Stick | |
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The Measure of God's Grace | |
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Boundary Applications in Ministry | |
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Straight Talk on Power | |
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Power and Responsibility | |
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The Hope That Is in Us | |
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Implicit Trust | |
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Idealization | |
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Intimacy | |
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Prayer | |
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Spiritual Authority | |
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Preaching | |
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Administrative Role | |
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A Weighty Responsibility | |
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Traits That Become Distorted by Power | |
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A Note on Predatory Behavior | |
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Protecting Your Boundaries | |
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Beware! | |
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Guardrails | |
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Power and Vulnerability | |
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When Parishioners Attempt to Renegotiate the Relationship | |
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When Boundaries Seem Blurry | |
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Role Confusion | |
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Bound(aries) by the Law? | |
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Flexible Boundaries vs. Blurry Boundaries | |
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How to Prevent Slipping Off the Slope | |
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The Ubiquitous Pastor | |
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The Temptation of Too Much Transparency | |
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Moving from Blurry Boundaries to Balanced Boundaries | |
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Sexual Misconduct and the Not-So-Blurry Boundary | |
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The Prevalence of Clergy Sexual Misconduct | |
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Child Sexual Abuse | |
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Defining Clergy Sexual Misconduct | |
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How the Fog Moves In | |
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From Blurry Boundaries to Over the Edge | |
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Emotional Affairs: "At Least I Never Crossed the Line!" | |
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Pornography: Clergy Sexual Abuse with a Nameless Victim | |
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Protection from the Seduction of Pornography | |
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Real-Life Boundaries in Real-Life Ministry | |
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Personal and Physical Boundaries | |
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Relational Boundaries | |
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Priorities | |
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Time Management | |
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Personal Life | |
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Family | |
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Dual Roles with Parishioners | |
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Boundaries in Communication | |
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Affection in the Body of Christ | |
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Friendship, Favors, and Gifts | |
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Dating a Parishioner | |
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Boundaries in Counseling | |
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Beginnings and Conclusions | |
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Boundaries Begin with You | |
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Establish, Maintain, and Monitor Your Boundaries | |
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Healthy Pastor, Healthy Church | |
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Help! I Stepped Out of Bounds | |
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Not Just Out of Bounds: When a Pastor Goes Over the Cliff | |
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The Promise of God's Compassion, Healing, and Presence | |
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Notes | |