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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives

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ISBN-10: 074323281X

ISBN-13: 9780743232814

Edition: 2003 (Reprint)

Authors: Jane Adams

List price: $16.00
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Book details

List price: $16.00
Copyright year: 2003
Publisher: Free Press
Publication date: 6/3/2004
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 224
Size: 5.25" wide x 8.25" long x 0.50" tall
Weight: 0.440
Language: English

Jane Adams is associate professor of anthropology and associate professor of history at Southern Illinois University.

Introduction
May I Talk to You Privately?
Whose Story Is This?
When Bad Things Happen to Good Parents
Our Dirty Little Secret
The Elephant in the Parlor
The Kids Are All Right and Other Lies Parents Tell About Their Grown Children The Most Privileged Generation in History -- Except Theirs
Great Expectations: Ours or Theirs
Who's in Trouble Here?
Making Them Happy Is Not Up to Us
But Can We Be Happy If They're Not?
We're Waiting...and Waiting...and Waiting When We Were Their Age
Prolonging the Search for Identity -- Or Just Avoiding It?
Excuse Us, But We're Having an Identity Crisis, Too
Our Other Unfinished Task
Two Kinds of Parents, Same Kind of Kids
In Whose Good Time?
Addicted, Depressed, and Dependent: A Detour or a Final Destination?
Whose Fault Is It, Anyway? The Two Myths of Parenthood
"I'll Never Make the Mistakes My Parents Made"
Wrestling Guilt to the Ground
The Echo of Our Childhoods
Regret Is Guilt Without the Neurosis
Why Wasn't I Listening?
When the Writing's on the Wall
Good Enough Is the Best We Can Do
They're Ba-a-a-ck! The Never-Empty Nest
Out of Time and Out of Patience
Sparing the Help vs. Spoiling the Child
Lives Without Guideposts
Leaving No Forwarding Address
The Challenge of Independence Strangled by Our Purse Strings
"Why Should They Wait Till We're Dead?"
Codependent on
Parents Who Give Too Much
Maybe We Shouldn't Have Inhaled The Perils of Nostalgia
It's Not the Age of Aquarius Any Longer
Is It a Symptom or a Disease?
Family Day at Rehab
Staying Out of Their Program
Doing the Wrong Thing
The Limits of Love Paying a Different Kind of Attention
Denying the Undeniable
The Real Truth About Gay Pride
Following the Pied Piper
An Alternative to What?
Who Are the Victims Here?
Forgiving the Unforgivable
Separating from Their Problems Without Separating from Them The Key to Our Survival
Thank You for Sharing
Marriages Under Fire
Blurred Boundaries, Loving Limits
But What About the Grandchildren?
Phantom Guilt and Other Crimes of the Heart
Reinventing Our Lives: The Challenge of Postparenthood Reinvigorating the Postparenthood Marriage
New Wine in Old Bottles
Different Times, Different Agendas
Shuffling the Deck for a New Deal
Notes
Bibliography
Index