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| Introduction | |
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| May I Talk to You Privately? | |
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| Whose Story Is This? | |
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| When Bad Things Happen to Good Parents | |
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| Our Dirty Little Secret | |
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| The Elephant in the Parlor | |
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| The Kids Are All Right and Other Lies Parents Tell About Their Grown Children The Most Privileged Generation in History -- Except Theirs | |
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| Great Expectations: Ours or Theirs | |
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| Who's in Trouble Here? | |
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| Making Them Happy Is Not Up to Us | |
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| But Can We Be Happy If They're Not? | |
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| We're Waiting...and Waiting...and Waiting When We Were Their Age | |
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| Prolonging the Search for Identity -- Or Just Avoiding It? | |
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| Excuse Us, But We're Having an Identity Crisis, Too | |
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| Our Other Unfinished Task | |
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| Two Kinds of Parents, Same Kind of Kids | |
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| In Whose Good Time? | |
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| Addicted, Depressed, and Dependent: A Detour or a Final Destination? | |
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| Whose Fault Is It, Anyway? The Two Myths of Parenthood | |
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| "I'll Never Make the Mistakes My Parents Made" | |
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| Wrestling Guilt to the Ground | |
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| The Echo of Our Childhoods | |
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| Regret Is Guilt Without the Neurosis | |
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| Why Wasn't I Listening? | |
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| When the Writing's on the Wall | |
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| Good Enough Is the Best We Can Do | |
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| They're Ba-a-a-ck! The Never-Empty Nest | |
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| Out of Time and Out of Patience | |
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| Sparing the Help vs. Spoiling the Child | |
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| Lives Without Guideposts | |
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| Leaving No Forwarding Address | |
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| The Challenge of Independence Strangled by Our Purse Strings | |
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| "Why Should They Wait Till We're Dead?" | |
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| Codependent on | |
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| Parents Who Give Too Much | |
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| Maybe We Shouldn't Have Inhaled The Perils of Nostalgia | |
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| It's Not the Age of Aquarius Any Longer | |
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| Is It a Symptom or a Disease? | |
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| Family Day at Rehab | |
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| Staying Out of Their Program | |
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| Doing the Wrong Thing | |
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| The Limits of Love Paying a Different Kind of Attention | |
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| Denying the Undeniable | |
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| The Real Truth About Gay Pride | |
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| Following the Pied Piper | |
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| An Alternative to What? | |
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| Who Are the Victims Here? | |
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| Forgiving the Unforgivable | |
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| Separating from Their Problems Without Separating from Them The Key to Our Survival | |
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| Thank You for Sharing | |
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| Marriages Under Fire | |
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| Blurred Boundaries, Loving Limits | |
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| But What About the Grandchildren? | |
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| Phantom Guilt and Other Crimes of the Heart | |
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| Reinventing Our Lives: The Challenge of Postparenthood Reinvigorating the Postparenthood Marriage | |
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| New Wine in Old Bottles | |
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| Different Times, Different Agendas | |
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| Shuffling the Deck for a New Deal | |
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| Notes | |
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| Bibliography | |
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| Index | |