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| Introduction | |
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| Answering the Basics | |
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| What is homosexuality? | |
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| Do homosexuals choose to be gay? | |
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| What is the difference between the terms "gay" and "homosexual"? | |
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| If I'm having homosexual fantasies, does that mean I'm gay? | |
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| Is homosexuality preventable? | |
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| Answers for Families | |
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| We just found out our child is gay. Is it our fault? Did we do something wrong? | |
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| We've noticed a few behaviors in our son that are causing us some concern (such as an interest in women's clothing and identifying with heroines in cartoons). Are these things normal? | |
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| I'm a single mother with two sons. I've heard that boys can be negatively affected by the loss of a father. Would another male role model help? What advice can you offer that would enable me to raise healthy sons? | |
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| We see some things in our daughter that are causing us some concern about her sexual identity. Are we being overly sensitive, or do we need to seek some help? | |
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| Our daughter just told us she's gay. What do we do first? | |
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| My 14-year-old has just "come out." He is attending the Gay-Straight Alliance at his high school, and he wants to date other boys. Should I force him to go to counseling? | |
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| My son just told me he is gay. He says he's finally accepted who he is and that he's never been happier. Can this really be true? | |
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| We recently learned that my brother is gay. He wants to tell everyone! What should we do? | |
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| Our child came out to us 14 months ago. Most of our friends and church family do not know. We've asked him to stay silent. Is this right? | |
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| We are rebuilding our relationship with our son, but we never speak of his homosexuality. How should we bring it up--or should we? | |
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| How can I inform my parents that I have embraced my sexuality and am not ready to change? I tried the whole "change thing" for a while, but I'm just not ready. How do I let them know without hurting or offending them? | |
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| Whenever I'm around my son, I feel the need to minister to him regarding his poor choices. But I seem to be driving him away. What do you suggest? | |
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| I feel the need to write my grandson, who recently announced his homosexuality, because he doesn't call or visit. I've sent devotionals, written out Bible passages, and tried to encourage him to change, assuring him of my love and encouraging him to keep in contact. I pray for him daily. Can I do anything more concrete? | |
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| How should we respond to our son who wants to bring his live-in "significant other" to spend the weekend in our home? We've been asking them to stay in a motel, but that has just led to our son not visiting at all | |
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| We've decided to allow our daughter and her partner to come for family visits. We have young children, and a couple of younger nieces and nephews might be present. What should we tell them? | |
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| We are expecting an invitation to my cousin's "wedding" or "commitment ceremony" next July. We are the only Christians in the family, and I sense "all eyes are on us." Can you suggest a very loving response? I feel attending would be showing support for the union. Are we wrong for not wanting to attend? | |
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| How do I talk my husband out of his belief that he is homosexual? | |
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| My spouse just left me for a homosexual relationship. Help! | |
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| To what extent should a homosexual father, living with another man, be involved in the lives of his children? | |
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| Answers for Friends | |
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| I have a hunch someone I know is struggling with homosexuality. How do I approach him about this without pushing him away? | |
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| I often feel hesitant to minister to my gay friends. I'm afraid that I'm going to condone what they're doing and grieve the Holy Spirit. Is doing nothing better than crossing the line? | |
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| The lesbian couple next door has adopted a child and invited me to attend a "celebration of life" event at their home. What should I do? | |
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| I know lots of gay people. How do I introduce them to Christ? | |
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| I've known John 3:16 since I was a little boy, and I desperately want to share that truth with all I come in contact with. However, when I attempt to share this with others from the gay community, my efforts seem to fall flat. Am I missing something? What should I be aware of when reaching out to the gay community? | |
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| I work with a girl who is very "out" about her homosexuality. I've noticed she's much more offensive around me than she is with other coworkers. What is this about? What should I do? | |
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| A man in my church is struggling with homosexuality. I really want to extend a hand of friendship to him but feel uncomfortable around gay men. What should I do? I'm just an average Joe | |
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| One of my closest friends just told me she struggles with homosexuality. I know enough about this to understand that she needs other women to help her. As a man, how can I help? | |
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| What is a mentor's role when helping women who struggle with same-sex attraction? | |
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| I'm a female hairstylist who works with several gay men at a salon. I am a Christian and want to show these men God's love, but sometimes I let them "be one of the girls" to show them I accept them. Is this wrong? What kind of influence can I have on them? | |
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| I know many gay men, and they all seem to remember feeling gay very early. Two of them have told me they were certainly born that way and that they knew they were gay as young as five years old. How can I deny their feelings? | |
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| Answers for the Church | |
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| I'm a pastor. How do I lead our church to effectively love homosexuals? | |
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| How can we help someone who has tried to overcome homosexuality and failed--especially since she has been hurt by the response of churches and other Christians? | |
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| I understand that multiple contributing factors are involved in homosexuality, including environment, biology, and family. Is a spiritual component included as well? | |
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| The Christian community has many different approaches to handling homosexuality. How can I evaluate whether my church is handling it appropriately? | |
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| How can we love active gays who attend our church services but prevent them from being in leadership roles, such as a Sunday school teacher, youth pastor, or choir member? | |
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| I'm involved in youth work in my local community and at church. What can I do to create a positive and safe environment where at-risk kids will feel welcome and we can deal with issues of sexuality in a healthy way? | |
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| Most outreach seems to happen at churches. Have you experienced successful outreach to homosexuals on their own turf? | |
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| When does 1 Corinthians 5 apply to an immoral relationship between Christians in the church? | |
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| Answers for Men | |
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| How does homosexuality occur in men? | |
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| What impact does childhood sexual experimentation have on boys? | |
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| If homosexuality isn't genetic, why do so many gay men have feminine mannerisms such as "lispy" speech and effeminate postures and movements? | |
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| Why does male homosexuality often include promiscuity? | |
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| I have been trying to change my life and get out of homosexuality, but I still deal with a lot of temptation and attraction to other men. How do I deal with thoughts when I see someone I think is attractive (which, right now, seems to be a daily occurrence)? | |
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| I'm an ex-gay man, and I'm interested in dating. Do I need to tell any potential girlfriends about my past, and if so, when? | |
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| Why do some men turn to homosexuality after being married? | |
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| Answers for Women | |
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| How does homosexuality occur in women? | |
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| Can you help me to understand lesbianism? It seems so complex--much more so than male homosexuality | |
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| I have noticed that many lesbians look manly and unfeminine. Why is this? | |
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| Sometimes when I am emotionally drawn to a woman, I experience sexual temptation. How do I deal with these thoughts? | |
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| Why do some women turn to lesbianism after being married? | |
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| How is it that sexual abuse can lead both men and women to homosexuality? Wouldn't abused men be more likely to turn to heterosexuality? | |
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| Answers for Those Desiring Change | |
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| Can a homosexual really change? | |
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| How does a person struggling with homosexuality become heterosexual? | |
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| I've just started researching the change process. What program do you find to be the most successful? | |
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| I've just made the decision to leave homosexuality. What do I need to know? What have you seen in the lives of those who are successful? | |
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| What about trained professionals? Have therapists favorable to change found some factors that increase the likelihood of a positive outcome? | |
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| Is the issue of masturbation something that I need to be concerned with? | |
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| Will my struggle ever completely go away? | |
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| What would you suggest to a person who is religious (Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu) but not a Christian and who is interested in leaving homosexuality? | |
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| When am I, someone who has struggled with homosexuality, healthy enough to help another? | |
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| Answering Theology | |
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| I have a friend who believes it's all right to be gay because Christ never mentions anything specifically about homosexuality in the Gospels. What is your response to this? | |
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| Which Scripture passages about homosexuality do I need to be familiar with? | |
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| Our pastor says that all homosexuals are going to hell. Is that true? | |
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| Where do some churches get the idea that there is no redemption for homosexuals? | |
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| My gay friend says that God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for inhospitality, not homosexuality. Is this true? | |
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| If homosexuality is no worse than other sin, why did God destroy two cities for it and call it an abomination? | |
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| A gay pastor I met said the Levitical regulation against homosexuality has more to do with idolatry than homosexuality and, in fact, no longer applies to our society. How do I respond to that? | |
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| I've heard that some gay-affirmative churches teach that Jonathan and David were gay. Where do they get this? | |
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| Answering Culture | |
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| I've heard that my city has one of the highest populations of homosexuals. Is this true? | |
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| There seems to be a prevailing message in our culture that homosexuality isn't different from heterosexuality. How do we contest this assertion? | |
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| If God is love, then what's wrong with a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman? | |
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| Why should we Christians be so against gay marriage? It's not going to hurt our commitments to one another | |
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| I saw a story on TV about Rosie O'Donnell and other gays who are adopting kids. The children seemed to suffer no ill effects. What do I need to know about this when talking to others who support gay adoption? | |
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| Don't kids just need a set of parents who love them--either same-sex parents or a man and a woman? | |
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| How do I respond to supporters of gay adoption when they ask me, "Isn't it better for a child to grow up with two loving same-sex parents than to live in an abusive home or be bounced around in foster care?" | |
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| I attended a youth pastors' meeting in my city, and many of us discussed a growing trend of girls confessing lesbian activity among their friends. Can you help us understand what is going on here? | |
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| I've been accused of being a homophobe. How do I respond to this accusation? | |
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| AIDS doesn't seem to be in the news as much as it used to be. Have we gotten a handle on it? | |
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| I'm a therapist in the public sector and a Christian. How would you suggest I encourage a homosexual or lesbian to reevaluate his or her lifestyle? | |
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| Answering the Gay Community and Agenda | |
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| I listen to a lot of Christian talk radio, and I've heard the term "gay agenda" frequently. What's it really all about? | |
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| Any agenda needs support to sustain its growth. Who are the major players fueling the gay agenda? | |
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| I've heard that 10 percent of the population is homosexual. Is this true? | |
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| If 10 percent of the population isn't gay, then what is the correct statistic? | |
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| How has the 10 percent statistic become so widespread? Why is it so important to the gay community, and why have they worked so hard to get society to believe it's true? | |
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| A friend of mine thinks that Christians are hateful when we don't think homosexuals should be granted equal protection of "civil rights" status. How should I respond? | |
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| I've read that the suicide rate among gay teens is high. Is this true? | |
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| What's wrong with school-based programs that provide safety and support for kids struggling with their sexual identity? | |
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| What are ex-gays going to say if scientists ever find a genetic link to homosexuality? | |
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| I heard a gay activist say that ex-gay organizations like Exodus International don't record statistics related to the number of people who have successfully come out of homosexuality. Is this true? | |
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| Answering Science | |
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| I've heard a number of studies quoted that support the "born gay" theory. Are these studies accurate? If not, why? | |
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| Should we believe the theory that suggests that prenatal hormonal imbalances can influence an individual's gender-identity formation? | |
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| You said homosexuality isn't genetic but environmental. If this is true, then how can one boy struggle with homosexual feelings and his brother, raised in the same environment, emerge as completely heterosexual? | |
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| From what I understand, most of the major medical and psychological associations don't see homosexuality as abnormal. Aren't you a bit behind the times with your belief that homosexuality is pathological? | |
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| Isn't the prevalence of homosexuality in the animal world proof that it's normal? | |
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| Answering Your Need | |
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| What support and resources are available for youths who are struggling with homosexuality? | |
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| What resources are available for people who struggle with homosexuality? | |
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| Notes | |