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| Foreword | |
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| Introduction | |
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| The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce: A View from the Summit | |
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| Beginning at the End | |
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| Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce | |
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| Emotional Guideposts for Divorce | |
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| Planning For Success: Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose | |
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| The First Steps | |
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| How Do I Start the Legal Process? | |
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| How Could This Be Happening to Our Family? | |
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| Why Are My Feelings So Complicated? | |
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| What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me? | |
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| The Next Steps | |
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| What Should I Do Before Leaving? | |
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| What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do | |
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| This Planning? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Making the Initial Decisions: Charting Your Own Course | |
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| What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship? | |
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| What Are My Options for Divorce Representation? | |
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| How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator? | |
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| How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer? | |
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| Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions | |
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| How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to Divorce? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time | |
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| Filing for Divorce | |
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| Does It Make a Difference Who Files First? | |
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| Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers | |
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| Arranging for Service of the Papers | |
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| The Mandatory Waiting Period | |
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| Staying in or Leaving the House | |
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| What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and Prior to Divorce? | |
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| Alimony | |
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| Property Division | |
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| Personal Property in All Jurisdictions | |
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| Assets | |
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| How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit? | |
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| What Should We Do About Our House? | |
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| Tax Considerations | |
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| Fault | |
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| Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in "No-Fault" Divorce? | |
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| If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role Does Fault Play in the Divorce? | |
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| What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time? | |
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| Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips | |
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| How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time? | |
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| What If I Have Sex with My Spouse? | |
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| What If I Want to Date Someone New? | |
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| What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer Has Advised Me to Be Tougher? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Evidence and Pretrial Procedures: You Can Never Be Too Prepared | |
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| Putting the Evidence Together | |
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| Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions, | |
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| and Subpoenas | |
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| Hidden Income | |
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| Personal and Fault Issues | |
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| What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures? | |
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| Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences | |
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| How to Use Pretrial Process | |
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| When and Why Should I Go to Trial? | |
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| Effecting a Settlement | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route | |
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| Court Intervention | |
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| What Is the Procedure in a Trial? | |
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| What Counts as Evidence? | |
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| What Documents Are Needed by the Court? | |
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| How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the Lawyer's Fees? | |
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| What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider? | |
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| What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as | |
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| Evidence? | |
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| How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial? | |
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| If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About It? | |
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| What If My Spouse Is Lying? | |
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| What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Taking Care of Myself and My Children: How Not to Get Lost | |
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| The Decision to Separate | |
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| How Do We Tell the Children? | |
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| How Will My Children Feel and React? | |
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| How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce? | |
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| Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Legal and Residential Arrangements: Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family | |
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| What Are Our Legal Options for | |
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| Raising Our Children After Divorce? | |
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| Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody | |
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| What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared | |
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| Parenting? | |
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| Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More Traditional Custody Situations? | |
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| Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements | |
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| What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by Divorcing Parents? | |
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| Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting | |
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| Plans? | |
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| What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of Different Ages? | |
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| Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared | |
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| Parenting | |
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| What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan? | |
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| What If We Can't Agree? | |
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| What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit? | |
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| Can I Relocate? | |
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| Where Child Support Fits In | |
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| What Are Child Support Guidelines? | |
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| Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision | |
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| Where Child Support Is Spent | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Contested Custody Cases: Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing | |
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| When to Consider a Custody Battle | |
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| Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved in a Court Battle | |
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| The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case | |
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| Evaluations of the Child and Family | |
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| How Is an Evaluator Chosen? | |
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| What Happens in an Evaluation? | |
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| What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation? | |
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| How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a | |
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| Successful Outcome? | |
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| How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations? | |
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| In the Event of a Trial | |
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| How Do I Help My Children at This Stage? | |
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| What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse: When the Route Is Really Dangerous | |
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| Definitions of Violence | |
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| Patterns of Abusive Relationships | |
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| Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children | |
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| When Your Children Are Involved and Affected | |
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| What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence? | |
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| Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk | |
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| How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or Escalating Violence? | |
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| What Do I Do First? | |
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| What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned? | |
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| Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders of Protection | |
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| How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order? | |
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| How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse? | |
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| Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order | |
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| What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You | |
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| Children's Involvement in the Legal Process | |
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| What If My Child Is the One Being Abused? | |
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| Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the Offending Parent? | |
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| What If My Children Don't See It My Way? | |
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| Emotional Blackmail of Children | |
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| Abduction | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Life After Divorce: When the Horizon Beckons Anew | |
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| Follow-Up Tasks | |
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| To-Do List | |
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| Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment | |
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| Credit Issues | |
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| Health Insurance | |
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| Social Security | |
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| Record Keeping | |
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| What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in | |
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| the Future? | |
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| If You Do Not Have Children | |
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| If You Have Children | |
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| Enforcement of Orders | |
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| Embarking on Your New Life | |
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| How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and My Children? | |
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| How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children? | |
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| What About My Own Dating and Sex Life? | |
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| How Do I Establish New Family Traditions? | |
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| Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach? | |
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| Personal Assessment | |
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| Conclusions: At the Summit | |
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| Appendix | |
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| Resources | |
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| References | |
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| Index | |