Heart of Counseling A Guide to Developing Therapeutic Relationships

ISBN-10: 0534625770

ISBN-13: 9780534625771

Edition: 2006

List price: $128.95
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With a unique emphasis on the bond between client and counselor, Cochran and Cochran's counseling skills text teaches students concrete and detailed steps for developing the therapeutic relationship. Each of the book's thirteen chapters addresses a specific therapeutic relationship skill-builder: how to listen therapeutically; how to strive for empathy; how to express empathy; how to strive for unconditional positive regard; the art of being genuine; getting started with new clients; the ongoing structuring of the therapeutic relationship; helping clients get started; managing client crises with therapeutic relationship skills; ending therapeutic relationships; considerations for providing therapeutic relationships across cultures; and using therapeutic relationships in non-counseling situations.
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Book details

List price: $128.95
Copyright year: 2006
Publisher: Brooks/Cole
Publication date: 6/9/2005
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 336
Size: 6.25" wide x 9.00" long x 0.75" tall
Weight: 1.210
Language: English

Dr. Jeff Cochran's counseling experiences have ranged from elementary school to universities. He has served as counselor in school, university, and agency settings, and has counseled in several states and overseas. He earned his Ph.D. at Virginia Tech, and his BA and MA at Appalachian State University. His most frequent scholarly interests include Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) and other applications of the Person-Centered approach (PCA); counseling services for children and youth with behavioral and emotional difficulties, such as conduct disorder; and the power and potential of therapeutic relationships. Jeff Cochran teaches the initial practicum course at SUNY-Brockport.

Nancy Cochran is a certified school psychologist, play therapist and a child psychologist with advanced experience and certification in CCPT and CCPT supervision. Nancy Cochran holds an MA and CAS in School Psychology from Appalachian State University in Boone, NC. Jeff and Nancy Cochran co-created and co-teach the newest course in the counselor education department at SUNY-Brockport, EDC 695 Child-Centered Play Therapy in School and Agency Settings.

Why the "Heart" of Counseling
A Few Notes about Us
A Note About Our Theoretical Base and Background
Important Notes on Case Examples
How to Use This Book
Eleven Concepts-Roots That Ground and Grow with The Heart of Counseling
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Important Guidance for Your Study of These Concepts
Avoid Intellectual Overload
Remember That Experience Is the Best Teacher and Communicator
Eleven Underlying Concepts
When Blocks Come into One's Path toward Self-Actualization and Ideal Maturity
The Capacity for Awareness, to Reason, Question, and Choose
Interpretation of Experience and Development of Self-Concept
Awareness of Existence, Choice, and Questions of Self-Worth
Self-Responsibility is Anxiety-Provoking
Awareness of Aloneness
Emotions Are Useful and Necessary for Growth
Every Action Is a Choice of Destiny
The Internal World
Locus of Control and Evaluation, and Being
Activities and Resources for Further Study
The Rich and Subtle Skills of Therapeutic Listening
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Tuning in and Listening
The Many Levels and Nuances of Reflecting
The Broad Skill of Reflection: From Paraphrasing to Themes to Confrontation, Challenge, Summary, and Beyond
The Broad View of Communication from Clients
The Do's and Don'ts of Listening Therapeutically
Overview of What You Are Communicating with Your Actions
Important Explanations of the Behaviors of This Do's and Don'ts List
Your Listening Body Language
Reflect Your Perception of What Your Client Communicates
Reflections as Declarative Statements
The Question of Questions or Questioning Tone
Keep Your Reflections Short, Whenever Possible
The Special Issue of Verbatim Reflections
Focus Your Reflections on Your Client's Main Point, or the Things Communicated That Seemed Most Important, Most Emotionally Laden for Your Client
Be Prepared for and Accept Corrections
The Issue of Interruptions
Allow Your Clients to Own Most Silences
How Therapeutic Listening Differs from Listening Outside of Counseling and from Nonlistening
How and Why Listening Therapeutically Works
What's Difficult about Listening-Common Errors and Problems in Listening for Beginning Counselors
Common Interfering Thoughts
Therapeutic Listening Is Not Normal and Can Feel Odd
The Urge to Fix Immediately
Sometimes Clients Want a Quick Fix
The Desire to Ask Informational Questions That Are of Interest to You
Returning to Important Communications
Multitasking with Therapeutic Listening
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Striving for Empathy
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
What Empathy Is and Isn't
Understanding What Empathy Is by Considering What It Is Not
Intricacies of Empathy
A Sample of the Preponderance of Literature Supporting and Clarifying the Importance and Power of Empathy
Why Empathy Is Important, Powerful
Connecting at the Core
Joining on a Scary Journey
A Profoundly Different Relationship
Joy in Connecting
Furthering Communication and Connection
What Gets in the Way of Empathy
Fear of Feelings
Misattributed Responsibility
Letting Go of Control
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Expressing Empathy
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Various Ways to Express Empathy
Matching Client's Tone
Facial Expression and Body Language
The Most Overt Means-Words
Do's and Don't of Expressing Empathy
Explanations and Discussion from This Do's and Don'ts List
Focus Your Attention Primarily on Client Emotions, Secondarily on Thoughts and Actions
Strive to Feel with Your Client, to Feel What Your Client Feels
Reflect Client Feelings and Underlying Thoughts through the Tone, Facial Expressions, Body Language, and Gestures That Come Naturally to You
Reflect Client Feelings with Words for the Emotions You Feel with Them, When Natural
Reflect Feelings and Underlying Thoughts That You Perceive Your Client to Imply
State Your Empathy in Declarative Statements and, When Unsure, State Your Empathy with More Tentative Declarations
Use Reflections to Restate Client Feelings and Underlying Thoughts More Clearly, Directly, and More Precisely and Concisely
Be Prepared for and Accept Corrections
Don't Let Your Words for What You Feel with Clients Come Out Sounding Like Assessments
Don't Respond from a Hidden Agenda of What You Believe Clients Should Realize
Don't Do Most of the Talking
Don't Make "Me Too" or "Must Feel" Statements
Nuances of Expressing Empathy That Don't Quite Fit Our Do's and Don'ts List
Remaining Animated, Natural, and Spontaneous in Expressing Empathy
Variation of Tone in Expressing Empathy
Responding to Implied Emotions
Responding to Unpleasant Emotions
Discerning When to Respond More to Emotions and When to Respond More to Content
Common Difficulties, Pitfalls, and Dead Ends
Thinking of the Word, Rather Than Feeling with Your Client
Trying Too Hard to Get It Just Right
A Limited Vocabulary for Feelings
The Problem with Claiming Understanding or Shared Experience
Personal Confidence and Faith in the Counseling Process
A Lack of Unconditional Positive Regard
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Striving for and Communicating Unconditional Positive Regard
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity 1
Focus Activity 2
Paths toward Holding Others in Reasonably Consistent Positive Regard
The Tandem: Empathy and Unconditional Positive Regard
What UPR Is and Isn't
Beginning Thoughts on What Unconditional Positive Regard Is
What UPR Is Not
A Sample of the Literature Supporting and Clarifying the Importance and Power of UPR
Why UPR is Important, Powerful
Self-Acceptance = Change
UPR = Full Expression of Emotions
As We Accept Our Clients, Our Clients Come to Accept Themselves
A Safe Environment
Evaluation by Others Can Be a Poor Guide for One's Self
Rewards for the Counselor and Client
How UPR Is and Is Not Communicated
What Gets in the Way of Having and Communicating UPR
Having an Agenda for Your Client
Counselors Believing They Know Better Than Their Clients
Lack of Self-Acceptance
Counselors Inadvertently Seeking to Fill Their Own Needs through Clients
The Analytic Mind
Some Clients are Hard to Like
Clients Doing or Saying Things That Run Counter to Their Counselor's Moral Constructs
Initial Judging Thoughts
How UPR in Counseling May Relate to UPR outside of Counseling
Activities and Resources for Further Study
The Delicate Balance of Providing Empathy and UPR in a Genuine Manner
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
What Genuineness Means and Does Not Mean
A Sample of Literature Supporting and Clarifying Genuineness and Its Importance
The Importance of Genuineness in Counseling
Keeping Therapeutic Listening, Empathy, and UPR Real: A Therapeutic Relationship with a Real Person
The Connection to and Role of Genuineness in the Set of Core Conditions
Creating a Safe Place for Emotional Honesty
How Counselor Genuineness Is and Is Not Communicated
Declarations of Genuineness Are Rarely Helpful
Sometimes Counselors' Experiences of Clients "Bubble up" or Cannot Be Hidden
State Your Reaction When Your Reaction to Clients Interferes with Your Empathy and UPR
Being Who You Are in the Phrasing of Your Reflections
Make Only Careful, Judicious Self-Expressions, Beyond Your Ever-Present Empathy and UPR
What Makes the Delicate Balance of Providing Empathy and UPR in a Genuine Manner Difficult
The Errant Thought-I Am Who I Am
The Challenge of Clients Who Are Hard to Like
The Need for a High Level of Self-Development for This Counseling Skill
The Question of Expressing Your Positive and Negative Experiences of Clients
The Need for High-Level Observational Skills, Therapeutic Listening, and Empath
Clients Who Ask for Your Experience of Them
The Need to Balance Freedom That Optimizes Personal Connections and Allows Experiences to Bubble Up into Expression with Avoiding Influence That Limits Client Expression
A Closing Thought on Genuineness
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Logistics of Getting Started with New Client
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Gathering Information and Understanding for an Initial Session Report Using Your Skills in Therapeutic Listening, Empathy, UPR, and Genuineness
Learning about Initial Counseling Sessions from Situations That Require Intake or Initial Session Reports
Practical Reasons for Information Gathering in Initial Sessions
Incorporating Counseling-Related Assessment with Your Skills in Therapeutic Listening, Empathy, UPR, and Genuineness
The Issue of Writing Notes during Sessions
Writing an Initial Session Report
Identifying Information
Presenting Problem/Concerns
History of the Problem/Previous Interventions
Reason for Coming to Counseling Now
Alcohol/Drug Use and/or Medical Concerns
Related Family History/Information
Major Areas of Stress
Academic/Work Functioning
Social Resources
Initial Impressions or Understanding of the Person and Concerns
Treatment Plans
Additional Notes on Thinking through Initial Impressions or Understandings of the Person and His or Her Concerns and Treatment Plans
Keeping Ongoing Case Notes
Common Dilemmas or Situations in Getting Started with New Clients
A Need to Know What to Expect
An Explanation(s) of Counseling That Helps Clients Begin
Information Your Clients Should Know When Getting Started
Who and/or Why Referred
Potentially Helpful Information Related to the Presenting Problem
Problems with Goals
The Thinking behind Our Solutions to Establishing Goals
Reasonable Goals
Unreasonable Goals
Communicating Goals
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Initial and Ongoing Structuring of Therapeutic Relationships
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Session Length and Ending Sessions
Time Warnings and the Importance of Letting Clients Own Their Endings
Exceptions to Ending on Time
The Awkwardness of Giving Time Warnings and Guidance for This
Possibilities of Varying the Time Warning Structure for Some Clients
A Few More Suggestions on This Time Thing
Helping Clients Understand the Structure of Interactions in Counseling or How Counseling May Work for Them
A Client Who Asks for Guidance
A Client Who Seems to Insist on a Quick Solution
A Client Who Has Great Discomfort with Silence
A Client Who Attends Sporadically
A Client Who Just Does Not Know Where to Start
Higher-Level Reflections Can Also Help Clients Understand How to Use Counseling
Example 1
Example 2
Explaining Therapeutic Relationships or Use of Counseling to Significant Persons in Clients' Lives
Problems for Beginning Counselors in Explaining Clients' Potential Use of Counseling
Activities and Resources for Further Study
When Clients Need Help Getting Started
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activities
Activity 1
Activity 2
Mistakes You May Make That Inhibit Your Clients' Beginning Use of Counseling
Trying Too Hard or Worrying about Motivating Clients to Make Rapid Use of Counseling
Not Recognizing That Your Client Began to Use His or Her Therapeutic Relationship with You As Soon As You Began to Provide It
Lack of Acceptance
Pedantic Reflections
Reflections That Sound Like "Aha" Conclusions
Slipping into Questions
When in Doubt, Please Review
Examples of Counselor Actions That Help Clients Struggling in Starting
Start Where Your Client Is
Respond to the Level of Emotion Each Client Expresses
Remember the Uniqueness of Each Client's Pace
Remember That It's Natural to Feel Uncomfortable in the Beginning
Give Them Room
Respect Your Client's Pace
See the Big Picture in Your Clients' Communication
Dispel Expectations of a Need for a Problem or Profundity
Sharing Experience in Letting Go
And Finally, Hang in There
Asking Questions or Suggesting Topics That Clients May Find Helpful in Their Struggles in Starting
Stating Why a Client Was Referred or Why You Offer Counseling
Suggesting Common Areas of Improtance for Discussion
Basing Questions/Suggestions of Information That You Already Have and Are Interested In
Open Questions
Concluding Thoughts on Helping Clients Who Are Struggling in Starting
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Managing Client Crises with Therapeutic Relationship Skills
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Introduction: Therapeutic Relationships as a Source of Power and Influence to Help Clients Manage Crises
Principles of Managing Client Crises with Therapeutic Relationship Skills
Self-Responsibility, Dignity, Integrity, and Least-Restrictive Interventions
Tell Your Client What's Going On with You
Remember to Reflect
Help Your Clients Make Their Plan
Plan Specifically
Err on the Side of Caution
Say the Words
Respond to the Possible Communication of a Dangerous Situation As Soon As Possible
Consideration of Assessment Factors
A Plan
Lethality of the Plan
A Means
Preventive Factors
Future Orientation
A Sudden Change or Switch
Previous Attempts
Lowered Inhibitions and Impulse Control
Ability to Guarantee Safety
And Finally ...
Non-Self-Harm Agreement/Safety Plan
A Good Safety Plan Is Time Specific
Relate the Safety Plan to Avoiding Elements within Your Client's Suicide Plan or Thoughts
Get Rid of the Means
Avoid Lowered Inhibitions and Impulse Control
Prevent Harm by Contacting Someone Immediately
Work Slowly and Carefully
And Finally ...
A Case Example of a Client with Mild Suicidal Ideation
The Issue of Hospitalization
Know Your Local Laws, Guidelines, and Procedures
When to Seek Hospitalization
Maintaining Maximal Client Self-Responsibility
Responding with Empathy to Clarify Intent
Counselor Responsibility
The Issue of Paying for Hospitalization
An Example with a Client Experiencing Strong Suicidal Ideation
An Example with a Client Who Is at Risk of Harming Others
Assessment Factors in Determining Risk and Safety Plans in Domestic Violence Situations, Especially Those That Rise to the Level of Imminent Danger
Physical Violence
The Extent of Physical Violence and Any Potential Pattern
Triggers and High-Risk Behaviors
Planning for Safety
Common Difficulties for Beginning Counselors Helping Clients Manage Situations That Are or May Be of Imminent Danger
The Seriousness of the Situation and the Weight of Decisions-The Danger Itself
"What if I Panic and Know What to Do, But I Forget?"
The Pressure of Never Being 100% Sure
Discerning the Difference between Your Feelings and Empathy
Errors in Empathy
Preoccupation with Liability
Having to Let Go and Let Clients Be Responsible-Trusting That Each Client Will Actually Do the Plan Agreed To
Self-Confidence and Self-Perception of Competence to Make Such Decisions
Coordination with Other Professionals-Fearing Breaking Trust to Ask for Help
Coordination with Client Loved Ones or Significant Others
The Infinity of Unknown or New Situations for Which There Is No Script
Shifting into Crisis Management Panic Mode and Forgetting to Continue to Build and Use a Therapeutic Relationship with Each Client
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Ending Therapeutic Relationships
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
The Principle of Independence
Committing to Review for Client Readiness to End throughout Ongoing Work
Reviewing for Client Progress, Satisfaction, and Decisions toward Ending
Setting a Tentative Plan for Counseling, Reviewing Progress, Satisfaction, and Decisions about Whether and How Long to Continue with an Initially Reluctant Client
Recognizing the Many Forms of Progress
Consideration of Alternative Modes of Planful Endings
Counting Down to the Ending
Letting Your Clients Know They May Return
Telling Your Clients How You See Them in the End or Last Meeting
Arbitrary Endings
Help Clients Plan for the Premature Ending
Counting Down
Discussing/Suggesting Continued Work and Progress
Special Problems or Situations That Occur with Arbitrary Endings
Seeking Feedback in Final Meetings
Common Difficulties for Beginning Counselors around Ending
Not Wanting to Let Go
The Frequent Happy/Sad Endings
Seeming to Want Too Much to End
Client Reluctance to End
Surprise That a Client Seems More Okay with Ending Than You Do
Unknown Reasons for Clients Ending and the Temptation for Counselors to Speculate or Blame Themselves for Some Error
Great Satisfaction and Joy in Endings
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Therapeutic Relationships across Cultures
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Introduction: All Counseling Is Cross-Cultural-But You Have to Reach Out
Reaching across Cultural Differences with Your Skills and Your Self
Be Wary of Cultural Assumptions
Know Yourself through Immersing Yourself
Think Broadly
The Fairly Foreign World of Children
Clients and Others Who May Not See the Value of Counseling
Common Problems or Experiences of Beginning Counselors in Counseling across Cultures
Opportunity to Experience a Diversity of Clients
Difference as Advantage to the Counselor
Missing the Feelings for the Cultural Context
Missing the Content for the Context
Significant Value Differences
The Experience of Connecting
Sensing a Need for Information and Context Education
Reaching Out and Becoming Accessible
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Growing Your Therapeutic Relationship Skills and the Core Conditions of Counseling
Primary Skill Objectives
Focus Activity
Developing Yourself through Developing Your Skills in Therapeutic Relationships
The Question of Multiple or Dual Relationships with Clients
Therapeutic Relationship Skills in Consultation
With Teachers
With Parents and Loved Ones of Clients
With Other Professionals from Related Fields
Therapeutic Relationship Skills in Job Task Negotiation
Therapeutic Relationship Skills in the Classroom
Empathy Sandwich
Project Special Friend
Teaching Clients and Others to Use the Skills of Therapeutic Relationships in Their Relationships
"Oh, the Places You'll Go"
Activities and Resources for Further Study
Brief Summary Notes for Chapter 1: Eleven Concepts-Roots That Ground and Grow with the Heart of Counseling
Do's and Don'ts of Reflective Listening and Expressing Empathy
Sample Initial Session Report Items
Essay Assignment for Particular Use in Readying Your Self-Awareness for Counseling Across Cultural Differences
Special Reference List for Pre-Chapter Quotes
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