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Laying the Foundation: Coping Successfully with Divorce | |
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The Aftermath of Marriage | |
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The Impact of Separation and Divorce | |
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Preseparation | |
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Transition-Restructuring | |
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Recovery-Rebuilding | |
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Is Divorce Worth It? The Verdict Is ... | |
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Legal Fundamentals: What Everyone Should Know | |
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A Primer on Current Divorce Trends | |
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Selecting an Attorney | |
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Marital Settlement Agreements | |
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Litigation | |
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Divorce Mediation: An Alternative to an Adversarial Divorce | |
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Stress and the Emotional Roller Coaster: Tools to Cope | |
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Coping with Stress | |
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Dealing with Anxiety | |
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Feeling like a Robot: Is There a Person in There? | |
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Sadness and Grief: The Importance of Mourning | |
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Thoughts about Your Ex: "Am I Going Crazy?" | |
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Feelings of Rejection, Worthlessness, and Failure | |
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Euphoria: Why Can't It Always Be like This? | |
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Feeling Defeated and Immobilized: How to Combat Depression | |
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Taking Action | |
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Doing a Tune-Up on Your Thinking | |
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What Do I Do with All This Anger? | |
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Where Does It All Come From? | |
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When Anger Is Self-Defeating | |
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How to Deal with Self-Defeating Anger and Let It Go | |
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Dealing with "New" Anger Constructively | |
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Children and Divorce | |
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Divorce through a Child's Eyes | |
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Children's Divorce Experience | |
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Is It Better to Divorce When Children Are One Age versus Another? | |
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How Long Are Children Likely to Experience Problems? | |
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"Should We Stay Together for the Children's Sake?" | |
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Critical Ingredients for Children's Adjustment | |
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Parents' Prolonged Conflict versus Cooperation | |
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Children's Relationships with Both Parents | |
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The Quality of Parenting and Stability in the Primary Home or Homes | |
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Amount of Additional Stress in Children's Lives | |
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Social Support | |
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Temperament and Predivorce Adjustment | |
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Conflict! The Number One Predictor of Children's Poor Adjustment after Divorce | |
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How Children Experience Conflict | |
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The Many Faces of Conflict: The Trauma of Being Caught in the Middle | |
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The Nightmare of Transitions | |
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Conflict's Repercussions for Children | |
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Surviving the Conflict | |
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Custody Battles: The Most Damaging of Postdivorce Conflicts | |
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Fostering Children's Long-Term Adjustment: A Step-by-Step Guide | |
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Starting Out Right | |
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How to Create a Stable Home Life | |
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How to Shore Up Your Relationship with Your Child | |
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How to Become a Communication-Friendly Parent | |
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Fostering Your Child's Relationship with the Other Parent | |
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If the Other Parent Has Dropped Out | |
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Limiting the Amount of Change in Children's Lives | |
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Arranging Social Support for Children | |
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Contain the Conflict! | |
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Should You Seek Professional Help? | |
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Divorce and the Steeling Effect | |
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Rebuilding a Rewarding Single Life | |
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Your Emotional Divorce: Stepping-Stone to a Rewarding New Life | |
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Setting the Stage: Separation | |
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Early Steps | |
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Disengaging from Your Spouse | |
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Dislodging Your Spouse from Your Mind | |
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Your Account | |
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Mourning and Rituals | |
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Letting Go of Your Anger | |
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The Power of Forgiveness | |
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The Role of Social Support | |
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Reinvolving Yourself | |
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Final Resolution | |
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Rebuilding | |
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Rebuilding Self-Esteem | |
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Overcoming Your Identity Crisis | |
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Coping with the Lonely Times | |
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Building a New Social Support Network | |
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Opportunities for Personal Growth | |
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Communicating with an Ex-Spouse: Ten Tools that Will Make the Difference | |
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Use "I" Messages | |
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Turn Complaints into Requests | |
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Attack the Problem, Not the Person | |
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Offer Suggestions, Not Solutions | |
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Tune Up Your Listening Skills | |
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Avoid Button-Pushing Language | |
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Be Respectful | |
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Use Disarming Tools | |
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How to Keep Your Cool | |
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Use Effective Negotiating Tools | |
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New Romantic Relationships | |
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Building a Strong Foundation | |
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What If There Are Children? | |
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How to Create a Successful One-Parent Home | |
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Creating a Home in Which Your Children Can Thrive | |
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Creating a Home in Which a Single Parent Can Thrive | |
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The Consequences of Growing Up in a One-Parent Home:Facts or Myths? | |
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The Parent without Custody: Dilemmas and Solutions | |
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The "Visitation" Dilemma | |
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The Important Role of the Nonresident Parent | |
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Solutions for the "Visitation" Dilemma | |
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Parenting at a Distance | |
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Parenting Young Children at a Distance | |
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The Myth of the Inconsequential Parent | |
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Co-Parenting Children after Divorce | |
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Custody: What's the Real Scoop? | |
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Legal Custody versus Physical Custody | |
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Physical Custody: Joint versus Sole Custody | |
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Mother Custody versus Father Custody | |
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Split Custody: Should Siblings Stay Together? | |
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Parenting Plans: Blueprints for a Smooth Future | |
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The Nuts and Bolts of a Parenting Plan | |
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Selecting a Parenting Schedule Tailored to Your Family | |
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Guidelines for Children's Developmental Needs | |
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Making Co-Parenting Work | |
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How to Build a Co-Parenting Relationship | |
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Seven Keys to Sound Co-Parenting | |
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Ending the Conflict: A Step-by-Step Approach | |
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High-Conflict Parents: Could This Be You? | |
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Steps to Protect Children from Conflict | |
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Steps to End the Conflict | |
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Extraordinary Steps for Extraordinary Conflict | |
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A Wise Step: Co-Parenting Counseling | |
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How to Discipline Effectively and Still Be a "Good Guy" | |
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Different Parenting Styles and Their Repercussions | |
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The Principles of Positive Parenting | |
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Discipline and Teens | |
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Your Relationship with Your Children: The Foundation of Effective Discipline | |
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Stepfamilies | |
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Stepfamily Myths versus Stepfamily Reality | |
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Remarriage Is Often Just What Is Needed to Help People Get Back on Their Feet after Divorce | |
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When We Get Married We Will Have an Instant Family | |
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When We Get Married the Children Will Be Able to Have a Traditional Family | |
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Well-Adjusted People Can Adapt to Stepfamily Life after a Brief Adjustment Period | |
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Losing Strategies: Eight Common Paths to Serious Stepfamily Problems | |
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Trying to Replace the Out-of-Home Parent | |
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Creating a False Sense of Togetherness | |
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Forced Blending | |
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Dramatically Changing Parent-Child Relationships | |
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Assuming Authority Too Quickly | |
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Resisting Family Blending | |
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Trying to Shut Out the Out-of-Home Parent from Children's Lives | |
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Denying Problems and Conflicts | |
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Learning What Works: Successful Strategies for Stepfamilies | |
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Communicate Openly | |
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Set Realistic Family Goals | |
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Build a Strong Couple Relationship | |
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Move Slowly; Do Not Push | |
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Develop Your Own Unique Role with Your Stepchildren; Do Not Try to Replace Their Out-of-Home Parent | |
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Let the Biological Parent Handle Discipline While the Stepparent Bonds with Stepchildren | |
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Build a Family Identity | |
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Do Not Try to Shut Out the Out-of-Home Parent or Force Loyalty | |
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Overview and Appendixes | |
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Closing Remarks | |
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How to Make Changes in Your Life and Stick to Them | |
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Learning a Deep Relaxation Technique | |
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Sample Parenting Plans | |
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Suggested Reading | |
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Notes | |
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Selected Sources | |
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Index | |