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Foreword | |
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Introduction | |
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Who Needs to Read This Book? | |
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Foolish Assumptions | |
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About This Book | |
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How This Book Is Organized | |
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Preparing to Negotiate | |
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Getting Your Point Across | |
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Getting Past the Glitches to Close It Up | |
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Conducting Cross-Cultural and Complex Negotiations | |
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The Part of Tens | |
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Icons Used in This Book | |
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Where to Go from Here | |
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Preparing to Negotiate | |
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Negotiating for Life | |
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When Am I Negotiating? | |
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The Six Basic Skills of Negotiating | |
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Prepare | |
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Set goals and limits | |
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Listen | |
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Be clear | |
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Push the pause button | |
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Closing the deal | |
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Handling All Sorts of Negotiations | |
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When negotiations get complicated | |
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International negotiations | |
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Negotiations between men and women | |
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Negotiation on the phone and via the Internet | |
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Knowing What You Want and Preparing to Get It | |
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Creating Your Vision | |
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Envisioning your future | |
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Making a commitment | |
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Identifying your values | |
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Deciding How You Are Going to Achieve Your Vision | |
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The three-year plan | |
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Putting your plan into action | |
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Preparing Yourself for Negotiation | |
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A is for Alert | |
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Dressing for success | |
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Walking through the door | |
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Leaving enough time | |
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Defining Your Space | |
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Negotiating on your home turf | |
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Seating with purpose | |
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Planning the environment far in advance | |
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Mapping the Opposition | |
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Identifying the Person Conducting the Negotiation | |
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Filling Out the Information Checklist | |
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Determining the Negotiator's Level of Authority | |
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Finding the Negotiator's Key Client | |
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Aiming to please | |
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Making it personal | |
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Focusing on the Negotiator's Interests | |
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Recognizing faults that can trip you up | |
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Preparing is essential, even if it's someone you know | |
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Knowing the Marketplace | |
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Gathering Information: The One with the Most Knowledge Wins | |
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Browsing the Internet | |
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Visiting the library | |
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Shopping the competition | |
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Asking questions | |
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Reading insider reports | |
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Consulting Consumer Reports | |
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Playing Detective and Evaluating Info | |
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Solving the mystery of value | |
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Recognizing agendas: The source shades the results | |
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Staying informed | |
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Preparing from the General to the Specific | |
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Time | |
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Quality | |
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Quantity | |
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Changes | |
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Risk | |
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Strategic relationship | |
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Setting Goals | |
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Setting a Good Goal | |
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Getting active participation from every team member | |
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Keeping the goals on course | |
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Setting the right number of goals | |
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Setting specific rather than general goals | |
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Setting challenging yet attainable goals | |
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Prioritizing your goals | |
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Separating Long-Range Goals from Short-Range Goals | |
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Setting the Opening Offer | |
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Breaking the Stone Tablet | |
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Setting and Enforcing Limits | |
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What It Means to Set Limits | |
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Setting Limits in Three Easy Steps | |
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Know that you have other choices | |
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Know what the other choices are | |
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Know your "or else" | |
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Enforcing Your Limits | |
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Write down your limits | |
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Establish your resistance point | |
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Tell your team the limits | |
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Never paint yourself into a corner | |
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Practicing Negotiating toward a Limit | |
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How to Tell the Other Party When You're the One Walking Away | |
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The Consequences of Not Setting Limits | |
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Re-examining Your Limits | |
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Sometimes, the Best Deal in Town Is No Deal at All | |
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Getting Your Point Across | |
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Listening - Really, Truly Listening | |
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Two Quick and Easy Starter Tips to Better Listening | |
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Six Barriers to Being a Good Listener | |
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The defense mechanism | |
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Weak self-confidence (the butterflies) | |
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The energy drag | |
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Habit | |
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The preconception | |
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Not expecting value in others | |
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Becoming a Good Listener | |
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Clear away the clutter | |
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Take notes | |
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Ask questions | |
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Count to three | |
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Wake yourself up | |
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Listening Your Way up the Corporate Ladder | |
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Asking the Right Questions | |
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Tickle It Out: The Art of Coaxing Out Information | |
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Battling the jargon | |
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Clarifying relativity | |
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Asking Good Questions: A Real Power Tool | |
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Avoid intimidation | |
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Ask, don't tell | |
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Avoid leading questions | |
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Don't assume anything | |
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Ask open-ended questions | |
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Ask again | |
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Use your asks wisely | |
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Accept no substitutes | |
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Dealing with Unacceptable Responses | |
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Don't tolerate the dodge | |
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Don't accept an assertion for the answer | |
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Don't allow too many pronouns | |
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Look for Evidence of Listening | |
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Listening to Body Language | |
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Everybody's Bilingual | |
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It's written all over your face | |
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Silent signals from the rest of the body | |
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Remember to listen | |
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What Our Bodies Can Say | |
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Matching your body language with your words | |
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Reading someone else's body language | |
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Interpreting conflicting messages | |
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Emphasizing with body language | |
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Using Your Knowledge of Body Language in Your Next Negotiation | |
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Knowing where to stand | |
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Making the first contact | |
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Showing that you're receptive (and knowing if your counterpart isn't) | |
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Seeing a change of heart | |
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Ferreting out boredom | |
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Wearing your confidence on your sleeve | |
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Closing the deal | |
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Don't Believe Everything You See | |
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Different strokes for different folks | |
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Consider the context | |
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Prepare for the bluff | |
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Tuning In to Your Inner Voice | |
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The Origins of Your Inner Voice | |
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The conscious and subconscious mind | |
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Left brain vs. right brain | |
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Processing Information for decision making | |
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Bringing Out Your Inner Voice | |
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Quieting your mind | |
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Brainstorming | |
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Heeding Special Messages | |
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Shady characters | |
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Questionable deals | |
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Pre-buyer's remorse | |
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Being Crystal Clear: Telling It Like It Is | |
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What Being Clear Means | |
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Organizing Your Thoughts for Clarity | |
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P.R.E.P. for a presentation | |
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Outline your points | |
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Tell 'em once, tell 'em twice, tell 'em again | |
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Tips for Being Clear | |
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Know your purpose or goals | |
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Cut the mumbo-jumbo | |
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Keep your commitments | |
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Write it down | |
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Try being a journalist | |
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Steering Others to Clarity | |
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Tangent people | |
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Interrupters | |
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Unprepared people | |
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Too busy to be clear | |
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Capturing an Audience | |
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When You Have to Say No | |
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Barriers to Clarity | |
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Fear of rejection | |
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Fear of hurting someone else | |
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General distractions | |
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The High Cost of Not Being Clear | |
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The highest cost of all | |
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Deals that disappear | |
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The prices you pay without even knowing | |
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Worst case: The deal closes | |
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Phrases You Should Never Use during a Negotiation | |
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"Trust me" | |
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"I'm going to be honest with you" | |
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"Take it or leave it" | |
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"You'll never work in this town again" | |
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A slur of any kind | |
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How to Really Garble Communication | |
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Raise your voice | |
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Leave out details | |
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Don't check to see if you were understood | |
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Walk away and talk at the same time | |
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Assume that everyone understands you | |
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Don't permit any objections or questions | |
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Getting Past the Glitches to Close It Up | |
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Pushing the Pause Button to Turn Off the Hot Buttons | |
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Defining the Pause Button | |
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Telling the Other Person That You Need a Pause | |
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Checking with the boss: A classic that needs a little prep | |
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Taking notes now for pauses later | |
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Coming up with a few pause buttons | |
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Knowing When to Pause | |
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Pausing before a concession | |
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Pausing under pressure | |
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If You're Not the Only One to Pause | |
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Dealing with Your Hot Buttons and Other Emotional Responses | |
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Identifying your hot Buttons | |
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Pushing the pause button on anger | |
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Expressing enthusiasm | |
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Employing a positive attitude | |
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Acting assertively | |
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Dealing with discouragement | |
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Handling Stressful Situations | |
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At War with yourself | |
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Stop, look, and listen...before you have a meltdown | |
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Dealing with Difficult People and Situations | |
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Office Pests | |
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Responding to offensive behavior | |
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Handling the passive-aggressive co-worker | |
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Staying in control during a meeting | |
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Personality Types That Block Closing | |
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The bully | |
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The screamer | |
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The star or the boss | |
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The biased buyer | |
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Closing the Deal and Feeling Good About It | |
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Good Deals, Bad Deals, and Win-Win Negotiating | |
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Assessing the deal | |
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Creating win-win deals | |
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Concessions vs. Conditions | |
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What It Means to Close a Deal | |
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Understanding the Letter of the Law | |
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Legal definition of a closed deal | |
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Offers and counteroffers | |
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Written versus oral contracts | |
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Legal protection before the contract | |
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Recognizing When to Close | |
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Knowing How to Close | |
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The good closer | |
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The only three closing strategies you'll ever need | |
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Using linkage to close | |
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Barriers to Closing | |
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Overcoming fears | |
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Overcoming objections | |
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Closing When It's All in the Family | |
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When the Deal Is Done | |
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Review the process | |
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Set up systems for checking the system | |
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Remember to celebrate! | |
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When the Deal Just Won't Seem to Close | |
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Overcoming the Glitches | |
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Dirty Tricks That Torment | |
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A constant change of position | |
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Good cop, bad cop | |
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The invisible partner | |
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The double message | |
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Nickel and diming | |
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"Let's split the difference and be done" | |
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The hidden agenda | |
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Addressing Red Flags That Come Up When It's Time to Close | |
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"If you accept this price, I'll have a lot more work for you in the future" | |
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"We're in such a rush, why don't we start without a contract?" | |
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"We're such good friends, let's get started right away" | |
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Dealing with a Bad Negotiating Environment | |
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Managing Conflict When the Deal Won't Close | |
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The Ultimate Glitch: Someone Walks Away | |
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If the other party walks away | |
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If the other party comes crawling back | |
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If one of your competitors walks away | |
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If you're the one walking away | |
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Starting All Over Again | |
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Conducting Cross-Cultural and Complex Negotiations | |
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International Negotiating | |
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Understanding "Culture" Before You Negotiate Across the Globe | |
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Respecting cultural differences | |
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Speaking like a native when you aren't | |
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Directing your research to the right culture, subculture, or individual | |
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Preparing for a Negotiating Session with Someone from Another Culture | |
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Deciding whom to invite | |
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Hiring an interpreter | |
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How quick to the kill? | |
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If a meal is involved | |
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Listening Around the World | |
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Listening in Bali | |
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Listening in America | |
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Listening in Japan | |
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Speaking to Foreigners | |
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Observing Body Language | |
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Overcoming Unique Issues in International Negotiations | |
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Choice of language | |
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Currency fluctuations | |
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Time differences | |
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Closing Around the World | |
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Good ol' U.S. of A | |
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Middle East | |
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Japan | |
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Negotiating with the Opposite Sex | |
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Conversing Between the Sexes | |
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Bridging the gap | |
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Tips for women | |
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Tips for men | |
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Four Strategies for Women Who Want Men to Hear Them | |
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Avoid apologies | |
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Be brief | |
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Be direct; don't hint | |
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Avoid emotional displays | |
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Four Strategies for Men Who Want Women to Hear Them | |
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Don't be condescending | |
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Share before deciding | |
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Share something personal | |
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Avoid emotional displays | |
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Negotiating with Your Spouse, Your Boss, or Your Most Important Customer | |
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How negotiations within long-term relationships are different | |
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Tips for negotiating in long-term relationships | |
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Special preparations | |
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Complex Negotiations | |
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The Elements of a Complex Negotiation | |
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Handling the media | |
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Controlling your emotions | |
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Taking a vote | |
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Dealing with multiple parties at the table | |
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Wading through multiple issues | |
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Putting Your Skills to Work in Complex Negotiations | |
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Prepare | |
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Set goals, set limits | |
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Listen | |
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Be clear | |
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Push the pause button | |
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Closing | |
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Building Your Team | |
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Going Back for More: The Renegotiation | |
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A scheduled renegotiation | |
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An unscheduled renegotiation | |
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A conditionally scheduled renegotiation | |
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But I like the contract and I think it's fair | |
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Blind Negotiating: Telephone and Internet | |
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Putting in the Call | |
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Getting past the gatekeeper | |
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Leaving a message | |
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Hitting "0" | |
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Wording your voice mail greeting | |
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Assembling the Participants for a Telephone Chat | |
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Gathering in front of the telephonic campfire | |
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Conferencing with your own equipment | |
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Hiring outside help | |
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Making the Most of Your Telephone Negotiation | |
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Crisp beginnings | |
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When the meeting starts | |
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Speaking with authority | |
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Questions to ask on the telephone | |
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Shaking hands over the phone | |
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Negotiating via E-Mail | |
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The Part of Tens | |
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Ten Personality Traits of Top Negotiators | |
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Empathy | |
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Respect | |
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Personal Integrity | |
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Fairness | |
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Patience | |
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Responsibility | |
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Flexibility | |
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Sense of Humor | |
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Self-Discipline | |
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Stamina | |
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Ten Key Negotiations of Your Life | |
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Asking for a Raise | |
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Buying a Used Car | |
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Buying Engagement and Wedding Rings | |
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Planning a Wedding | |
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Buying a Home | |
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Negotiating a Home Improvement Contract | |
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Negotiating a Divorce Settlement | |
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Negotiating about Naptime, Curfew, Dessert, and Other Childhood Necessities | |
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Preparing to negotiate with your kids | |
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Setting limits for minors | |
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Listening to your kids | |
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Parenting with clarity | |
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Pushing the parental pause button | |
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Closing with kids | |
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Choosing Medical Care for an Incapacitated Parent | |
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Buying Funeral Services | |
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Index | |