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| 10 Things You Can Learn from Self-Defeating Behavior | |
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| Introduction: How to Beat Self-Defeat | |
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| Chasing After Love and Approval From a Parent | |
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| Getting Involved With the Wrong People | |
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| Procrastinating | |
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| Expecting Others to Understand How You Feel | |
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| Waiting Until It's Too Late | |
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| Getting So Angry You Make Things Worse | |
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| Saying Yes When You Want to Say No | |
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| Holding a Grudge | |
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| Assuming They Don't Want Anything in Return | |
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| Playing It Safe | |
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| Always Having to Be Right | |
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| Focusing on What Your Partner Is Doing Wrong | |
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| Putting up With Broken Promises | |
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| Trying to Make up While You're Still Angry | |
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| Not Learning From Your Mistakes | |
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| Trying to Change Others | |
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| Rebelling Just for the Sake of Rebelling | |
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| Talking When Nobody's Listening | |
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| Pretending You're Fine When You're Not | |
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| Becoming Obsessive or Compulsive | |
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| Taking Things Too Personally | |
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| Acting Too Needy | |
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| Having Unrealistic Expectations | |
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| Trying to Take Care of Everybody | |
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| Refusing to "Play Games" | |
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| Putting on an Act to Make a Good Impression | |
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| Being Envious of Others | |
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| Feeling Sorry for Yourself | |
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| Assuming the Hard Way Is the Right Way | |
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| Thinking "I'm Sorry" Is Enough | |
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| Holding It All In | |
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| Quitting Too Soon | |
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| Letting Others Control Your Life | |
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| Leaving Too Much to Chance | |
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| Letting Fear Run Your Life | |
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| Not Moving on After a Loss | |
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| Not Getting Out When the Getting Is Good | |
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| Not Asking for What You Need | |
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| Giving Advice When They Want Something Else | |
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| Backing Down Because You Don't Feel Ready | |