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| News Item | |
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| 'Wig, rouge, honey' | |
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| Their Sex Life | |
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| Epigram VI.57 | |
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| Epigram IX.33 | |
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| Boston | |
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| 'Diophon' | |
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| 'Hermogenes is rather short' | |
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| A Case | |
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| Twins | |
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| 'Busts and bosoms have I known' | |
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| 'I like a woman built on ample lines' | |
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| This Englishwoman | |
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| Fatigue | |
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| Variation on Belloc's 'Fatigue' | |
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| Resume | |
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| 'Mean old Hermon' | |
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| The Hardship of Accounting | |
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| Epigram | |
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| Human Life | |
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| Cherry White | |
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| Some are Born | |
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| Common Sense | |
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| The Question | |
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| Company | |
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| Samson Agonistes | |
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| 'Man stole fire' | |
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| 'Having slept with a man' | |
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| Prophetic Soul | |
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| Two Cures for Love | |
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| 'Eutychus the painter' | |
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| Reflection of Ice-breaking | |
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| Genealogical Reflection | |
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| Reminiscent Reflection | |
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| Crossing the Border | |
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| Epigram II.38 | |
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| On Rutt the Judge | |
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| Treason | |
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| On Certain Ladies | |
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| On Taking a Wife | |
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| Swans Sing Before They Die | |
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| Juliet | |
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| The Reward | |
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| Relativity | |
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| Mind and Matter | |
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| Determinism | |
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| 'A young schizophrenic named Struther' | |
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| Idealism | |
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| A Reply | |
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| 'There was a young lady of Riga' | |
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| 'There was an old man of Boulogne' | |
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| 'There was an old party of Lyme' | |
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| 'When Daddy and Mum got quite plastered' | |
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| Bump! | |
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| Drusilla | |
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| Edouard | |
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| Arthur | |
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| Benjamin | |
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| Carlotta | |
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| Requiem | |
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| 'A Young Person came out of the mists' | |
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| 'As the poets have mournfully sung' | |
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| 'There was an Old Man with a beard' | |
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| 'There was an Old Lady of Chertsey' | |
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| 'There was an Old Man whose despair' | |
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| 'There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!"' | |
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| Nomenclaturik | |
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| Oscar Wilde | |
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| D. G. Rossetti | |
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| Alexandre Dumas and His Son | |
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| George Gissing | |
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| Walter Savage Landor | |
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| From Biography for Beginner: J. S. Mill | |
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| From Biography for Beginner: 'The intrepid Ricardo' | |
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| From Biography for Beginner: '"No, air," and General Sherman' | |
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| From Biography for Beginner: George III | |
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| From Biography for Beginner: Adam Smith | |
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| From Academic Graffiti: 'Lord Byron' | |
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| From Academic Graffiti: 'Henry Adams' | |
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| From Academic Graffiti: 'Henry James' | |
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| From Academic Graffiti: 'When Karl Marx' | |
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| From Academic Graffiti: 'Cardinal Newman' | |
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| B Kw rtn | |
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| Lapsus Linguae | |
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| Faults | |
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| 40-Love | |
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| Tenuous and Precarious | |
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| The Ceiling | |
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| Tarantella | |
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| 'In this mirror' | |
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| No! | |
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| A Ternarie of Littles, Upon a Pipkin of Jellie Sent to a Lady | |
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| The Carcajou and the Kincajou | |
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| The Modern Hiawatha | |
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| The Mad Gardener's Song | |
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| From the Embassy | |
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| The Waif | |
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| What the Spider Heard | |
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| The Fly | |
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| Spring in the Bronx | |
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| A Little Lamb | |
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| Rillons, Rillettes | |
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| Private Means is Dead | |
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| V. B. Nimble, V. B. Quick | |
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| Squeeze Play | |
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| In the Dumps | |
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| Vendetta | |
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| Jabberwocky | |
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| The Termite | |
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| Symptom Recital | |
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| For an Amorous Lady | |
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| Take Me in Your Arms, Miss Moneypenny-Wilson | |
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| 'The author loving these homely meats' | |
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| 'On sunny days' | |
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| 'The impudence of some people' | |
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| 'While describing to her best friend' | |
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| 'He marvelled at her breasts' | |
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| Alice is at It Again | |
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| A True Maid | |
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| A Song of a Young Lady to Her Ancient Lover | |
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| The Old Man's Complaint: By Mr. Wells | |
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| Always True to You in My Fashion | |
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| Love Me Little, Love Me Long | |
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| Elinor Glyn | |
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| Fatal Love | |
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| One Perfect Rose | |
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| Ich liebe solche weisse Glieder | |
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| Ending | |
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| The Trouble with Women is Men | |
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| A Word to Husbands | |
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| Autumn | |
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| St. Ives | |
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| Hot and Cold | |
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| The Mistake | |
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| Sucking Cider Through a Straw | |
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| The Newlyweds | |
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| On Kant's Definition of Marriage in The Metaphysics of Ethics | |
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| Spectator ab extra | |
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| Recipe for a Salad | |
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| Peas | |
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| The Bun | |
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| Sonnet to Vauxhall | |
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| Smelt and Tasted | |
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| Heard and Seen | |
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| The 'Satire' | |
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| The Comming of Good Luck | |
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| Blisse | |
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| Divided Destinies | |
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| Look for the Silver Lining | |
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| Hotel | |
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| Praise is a Mirror | |
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| The Nightmare | |
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| Complaint to Four Angels | |
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| Epigram V.9 | |
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| Epigram IV.70 | |
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| I've been to a Marvellous Party | |
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| The Party Next Door | |
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| Evening Musicale | |
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| Stately as a Galleon | |
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| A Literary Dinner | |
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| Vers de Societe | |
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| How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear | |
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| Posterity | |
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| Henry King | |
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| The Purist | |
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| Upon Clunn | |
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| The Tank | |
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| Miss Clegg | |
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| Mad Dogs and Englishmen | |
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| Lines for Cuscuscaraway and Mirza Murad Ali Beg | |
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| Yes and No | |
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| The Latest Decalogue | |
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| I Had Duck-billed Platypus | |
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| In a Copy of More's (or Shaw's or Wells's or Plato's or Anybody's) Utopia | |
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| On a General Election | |
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| The Solution | |
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| Low Down Sandcastle Blues | |
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| A Modest Politician | |
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| Epitaph on a Politician | |
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| Lord Finchley | |
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| The Pacifist | |
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| The World State | |
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| Lord Lundy | |
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| There Lived a King | |
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| The Ewart Organization | |
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| Guns Before Butter | |
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| High Sugar | |
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| Bloomsbury Snapshot | |
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| Reproof Deserved, or After the Lecture | |
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| The Black Box | |
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| Cacoethes Scribendi | |
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| On His Books | |
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| From The Second Part of Absalom and Achitophel | |
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| 'You cannot hope to bribe or twist' | |
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| 'A critic is a creature who has views' | |
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| On a Lady who P - st at the Tragedy of Cato | |
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| Academic | |
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| To Minerva | |
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| Philological | |
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| The Uncertainty of the Poet | |
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| The Pig | |
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| The Wasp | |
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| The Frog Prince | |
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| The Frog | |
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| The Octopus | |
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| The Eel | |
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| The Rabbit | |
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| To a Mouse | |
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| Mouse | |
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| Carp | |
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| Epigram III.35 ('Instant Fish') | |
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| To a Fish | |
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| A Fish Answers | |
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| The Python | |
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| The Cobra | |
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| An Appeal to Cats in the Business of Love | |
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| The Blind Sheep | |
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| The Grackle | |
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| The Hippopotamus | |
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| The Hippopotamus Song | |
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| Mollusc | |
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| Epigram ('I am his Highness' dog') | |
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| The Dog | |
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| The Cow | |
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| The Louse | |
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| The Bunyip | |
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| Opportunity | |
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| Mr. Jones | |
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| L'Enfant glace | |
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| Nothing to Fear | |
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| My Dad was Worried | |
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| Lean Gaius | |
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| To His Skeleton | |
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| Arithmetic on the Frontier | |
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| Waste | |
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| Yes, I Know | |
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| All Things Pass | |
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| A Toccata of Galuppi's | |
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| 'Give me a doctor' | |
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| On Mary Ann | |
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| On Will Smith | |
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| At Potterne, Wiltshire | |
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| Epigram I.16 | |
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| Epitaph on Charles II | |
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| Here Lies a Philosopher | |
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| 'The angler rose' | |
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| Epitaph on an Unfortunate Artist | |
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| From Tombstones in the Starlight | |
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| A Dentist | |
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| At Great Torrington, Devon | |
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| At Aberdeen | |
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| Epitaph in St. Olave's, Southwark, on Mr. Munday | |
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| On a Tired Housewife | |
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| Acknowledgments | |
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| Index of Authors | |