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Introduction | |
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"You'll Never Groom Dogs in This Town Again!" | |
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Cafe Manhattan | |
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The Young Man and the Sea | |
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How to Be Difficult | |
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The Yanni Files | |
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A Prayer for Bill Clinton | |
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Independence Day | |
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Parlez-Vous Francais? | |
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An Aesthetically Challenged American in Paris (Part II) | |
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You Could Look Me Up ... Sometime | |
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I Go to Golf School | |
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A Graceland for Adolf | |
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Upcoming House Votes | |
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Let's Hear It for Cheerleaders | |
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Lapses of Photographic Memories | |
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A Year-Round Tan for the Asking | |
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The Bane of Every Vacation: Souvenirs | |
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Memo from Coach | |
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As I Was Saying to Henry Kissinger... | |
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Away from It All | |
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Give One for the Team | |
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God, Help Me! | |
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Autumn of the Matriarch | |
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Future Schlock | |
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What We Told the Kids | |
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Un Caballo in Maschera | |
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The Midwest: Where Is It? | |
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Come Stay with Us | |
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Desert Surprise: Saddam Picks Bill | |
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Return Saddam's Limo ... Now! | |
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Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father | |
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Flowers of Evil: Ask Charles Baudelaire | |
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Authors with the Most | |
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Long Day's Journey into Abs | |
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Yankee, Come Home | |
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A Good Man Is Hard to Keep: The Correspondence of Flannery O'Connor and S. J. Perelman | |
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Testing, Testing... | |
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The Cheese Stands Alone | |
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Post-Euphoria | |
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Why Are Kids So Dumb? | |
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Clarifications | |
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What We talk About When We Talk About Little Green Men | |
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Design Intervention | |
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Too Late to Become a Gondolier? | |
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Me and My Delusions | |
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Eating the Desk | |
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Into the Giga Jungle | |
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The Hidden Life of Rocks | |
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Degas, C'est Moi | |
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You Say Tomato, I Say Tomorrow | |
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Chicken a la Descartes | |
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Even More Memoirs by Even More McCourts | |
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Love Bug | |
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More Mergers | |
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Rejected Polls | |
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Josh Kornbluth | |
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Driving Mr. Crazy | |
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Red Diaper Baby | |
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Money | |
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Trout | |
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Jumpin' Jiminy | |
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Space Travel Food | |
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Piscopo Agonistes | |
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The Way of the Ear | |
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Eleventh-Hour Bride | |
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I Network with Angels | |
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Phone Hex | |
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Birthdays: So Now What? | |
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Things That Are Confusing | |
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How and Why Book of Magnets | |
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Joyce Maynard Looking Back | |
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Bad Numbers | |
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Sunken Treasure | |
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One Guy's TV | |
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After This Word from Motel 3 | |
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O.J.: The Trial of the Next Century | |
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Scrambling for Dollars | |
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Gambling in the Schools | |
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Diary of a Genius | |
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TV Guide, Soon | |
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My Genetic Memories | |
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The Last Publicist on Earth | |
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Memoir Essay | |
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March | |
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No Strings Attached | |
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Ferret-Face | |
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Barnes Ennobled | |
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T.G.I.Y2K! | |
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All Happy Families... | |
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Christmas Freud | |
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El Nino Has a Headache | |
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In New England Everyone Calls you Dave | |
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The Million Millionaires March | |
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Wing Tsu | |
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T. S. Eliot Interactive | |
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Buy Me | |
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Rejected Celebrity Cab Announcements | |
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Conspir-U.S.-cy History | |
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Dysfunctional Adult Education Catalogue | |
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The All-Purpose Concession Speech | |
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Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol | |
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Humor Thy Father | |
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Khmer Roue | |
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Taking the A Train to Early Retirement | |
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A Few Notes on Sex Education | |
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The Last Supper, or The Dead Waiter | |
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Pen Pals | |
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I Am a Tip-Top Starlet | |
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To Our Valued Customers | |
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Getting Over Getting Stoned | |
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Manifesto | |
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Glad Rags | |
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From: Corporate Communications at CRT301 | |
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A Note About the Editor | |
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A Note About the Type | |
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Index | |
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About the Contributors | |