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| Foreword | |
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| Introduction | |
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| The Problem | |
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| Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enough | |
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| What is a meltdown? | |
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| The usual parenting advice: start with rules and consequences | |
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| The limits of discipline: when rewards and punishments no longer work | |
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| But aren't meltdowns just manipulative behavior? | |
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| Can we really expect no more meltdowns? | |
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| An overview of the four-step model for reducing meltdowns | |
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| What are meltdowns made of? | |
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| Fight, flight or freeze response | |
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| Temperament | |
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| Difficulties with abstract thinking and perspective taking | |
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| Inflexibility | |
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| An explosive combination | |
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| The Solution | |
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| Accepting and appreciating our children | |
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| Controlling our own frustration | |
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| Building competence | |
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| Avoiding learned helplessness | |
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| The 80/20 rule | |
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| Anticipating frustration as part of learning | |
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| When to avoid power struggles | |
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| De-escalating a meltdown | |
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| How to de-escalate a meltdown | |
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| Distractions | |
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| When too much distraction can make things worse | |
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| Helping children find their own distractions and calming strategies | |
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| Steps for creating self-calming strategies | |
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| Understanding why repeat problems occur | |
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| Understanding the triggers | |
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| The ABCs of behavior: Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence | |
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| Getting the ABCs: Interviews and observations | |
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| Seeing the pattern | |
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| Creating a prevention plan | |
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| The components of a good prevention plan | |
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| A prevention plan for Kevin | |
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| The four types of meltdown situations | |
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| Plans for the Four Types of Meltdown Situations | |
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| Demands | |
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| Do your schoolwork | |
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| Try it, it's delicious | |
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| Hurry up, the bus is coming | |
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| Clean up | |
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| Let's go to the party | |
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| Waiting | |
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| Just wait | |
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| You can't always get what you want | |
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| Okay, time to stop playing | |
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| Threats to self-image | |
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| Winning isn't everything | |
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| It's okay to make mistakes | |
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| But names will never hurt you | |
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| Unmet wishes for attention | |
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| I can't play with you now | |
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| Don't be jealous | |
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| Time to go to bed | |
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| Closing thoughts: Finding your own way | |
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| Prevention plan form | |
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| References | |