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Introduction: How This Book Can Help You | |
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Open Your Mind | |
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What Starts a Conflict? What Makes It Grow? | |
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Conflict Triggers | |
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Willingness Lets You Put the Brakes on Conflict | |
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What Happens When You're NOT Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | |
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What Are Your Willingness Blocks? | |
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What Happens When You ARE Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | |
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Basement or Balcony--Your Choice | |
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Decide to Become a Conflict Solver | |
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What Conflict Makers Do | |
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What Conflict Solvers Do | |
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Where Do You Stand? | |
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When the Other Person Isn't Willing | |
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Fake It Till You Make It | |
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Team Earth Needs Your Help | |
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"Yes, But" Questions | |
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What to Do When Your Friends Have Conflicts | |
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Are You Ready to Be a Conflict Solver? | |
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Become a Better Listener | |
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NOT Listening Fuels Conflicts | |
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Listening Is Your Path to Personal Power | |
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Check Out Your Listening | |
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Try the Bad Listening/Good Listening Game | |
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Listen So You Really Understand: Reflective Listening | |
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Play the "Sounds Like ..." Game | |
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Using Reflective Listening When There's a Conflict: Two Examples | |
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Good Listening Builds Good Relationships | |
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Use Win/Win Guidelines | |
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Cool off | |
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Talk the problem over using I-messages | |
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Listen while the other person speaks, and say back what you heard | |
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Take responsibility for your part in the conflict | |
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Brainstorm solutions and choose one that's fair to both of you | |
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Affirm, forgive, thank, or apologize to each other | |
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Putting It All Together | |
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"Yes, But" Questions | |
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Be a Role Model | |
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Manage Your Anger and Gain Control | |
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What Are Your Anger Pitfalls? | |
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Why Do So Many People Have Trouble Managing Anger? | |
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Three Secrets to Getting a Handle on Anger | |
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Decide Not to Get Hooked | |
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Make Yourself Zinger-Proof | |
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Protect Yourself from Other People's Angry Vibes | |
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When Anger Leads to Physical Fighting | |
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Take Control | |
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Learn to Manage Stress and Stay Calm, Cool, and Confident | |
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Do You Know Your Stress Signals? | |
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What's on Your Mind? Find the Calm Confidence Within You | |
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More Ways to Stay Calm and Cool | |
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De-Stress with Yoga and Meditation | |
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Choose Calmness | |
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Be Smart About Bullying | |
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Teasing versus Bullying: What's the Difference? | |
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Eight Ways to Stop Teasing | |
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Why Do People Bully? Is It Really Such a Big Problem? | |
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Self-Check: Are You Bullying or Harassing Anyone? | |
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What to Do If You've Bullied Others | |
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What to Do If Someone Is Bullying You | |
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"Yes, But" Questions | |
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Bullying and Sexual Harassment | |
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Choose to Be a Peacemaker | |
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Build Yourself Up from the Inside Out | |
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Follow a Day-by-Day Plan | |
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Strengthen Your Courage Muscle | |
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Strengthen Your Forgiveness Muscle | |
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Observe Yourself | |
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Observe Others | |
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Believe in Yourself | |
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Resources for You | |
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Working Out Conflicts Survey | |
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References | |
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Index | |
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About the Author | |
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List of Reproducible Pages | |
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My Conflict Triggers | |
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Conflict Log | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 1 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 2 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 3 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 4 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 5 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 6 | |
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Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 7 | |