How to Lead in Church Conflict Healing Ungrieved Loss

ISBN-10: 1426742339
ISBN-13: 9781426742330
Edition: 2012
List price: $17.99 Buy it from $11.03
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Description: The hurts of people often spill over into the life of the congregation causing conflict.Your chair of finance is going through a nasty divorce and is mad at God. The mother of one your Sunday School teachers is chronically ill. A major factory in  More...

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Book details

List price: $17.99
Copyright year: 2012
Publisher: Abingdon Press
Publication date: 4/1/2012
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 168
Size: 6.25" wide x 9.25" long x 0.50" tall
Weight: 0.594
Language: English

The hurts of people often spill over into the life of the congregation causing conflict.Your chair of finance is going through a nasty divorce and is mad at God. The mother of one your Sunday School teachers is chronically ill. A major factory in your community has relocated, taking with it many of your church members’ jobs. And you wonder why the church council meetings are so rancorous and your church is mired in unproductive conflict. What do you do? How should you lead? Hurting people have a difficult time making caring, loving decisions—decisions that may outlast and outlive them. Too often, the church is held captive to the voices of people who grieve and mourn, who have so much stress in their own life that it spills over into the life of the congregation. According to Lyon and Moseley, even when God is trying to do something new and conflict results, pastors must understand the dynamics of ungrieved loss. With rich and helpful illustrations, pastors can lead through the destructive realities and creative possibilities that conflict inevitably brings.

Leading in Conflict: An Introduction to the Issues
Some Important Things about Leadership
Some Important Things about Conflict
Some Important Things about Loss and Grief
Some Important Things about Ministry
Who We Are and How We Got Interested in This Topic
What Is Coming?
Failing to Find What We Didn't Know We Needed: Three Stories
Joining First Community Church
Living with Trauma
Old and New Faith
A Look Ahead
Spirituality and the Failure to Grieve
Taking and Being Taken by a Role: Getting Askew and Getting Aright
Hirschhorn on Taking a Role
Emotional Regulation and the Meaning Resources of the Congregation
Modes of Generating Experience
The Group-as-a-Whole
Scapegoats, (Un)Authorized Others, and the Social Unconscious
Mentalizing, Distortion, and Rigidity
Vocation and Role
Failing to Grieve and the Spiritual Discipline of Learning from Experience
The Problem of Learning from Experience
Adaptive Learning and the One Who Knows
Love, Hate, Grief, and the Vulnerability of Learning from Experience
Learning and Forgiveness
Leadership, Followership, and the Discipline of Learning from Experience
A Methodological Note: What Are We Learning from When We Learn from Experience?
Back Where We Began
Shaping the Congregational Journey: Losing Your Way to New Life
The Sanctuary
Naming Losses
Feeling Pain
Being Angry
Remembering
Feeling Guilt and Shame
Forgiving
Giving Thanks
Playing
Practicing
Becoming New
Preaching and Practicing Liturgy: Resources for Leading Congregations in Conflict
Liturgy and Formation
The Liturgy as Container
Liturgy and Preaching
Gathering
Listening
Making Offering
Departing in Peace
Final Comments
Notes

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