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| Introduction: What It's All About | |
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| Some Really Crude Basics | |
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| What Is a College Paper? | |
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| Format and Length | |
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| Timing Counts! | |
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| How Much Work Do I Have to Do? | |
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| Picking Your Nose at 4 a.m. | |
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| Choosing a Topic and Telling Your Story | |
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| K.I.S.S. | |
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| Plagiarize | |
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| Brainstorming | |
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| Why Must We Fight? | |
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| Daring Dissent | |
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| Swindler's List | |
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| Finding Patterns: Comparisons and Contrasts | |
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| Freeing the Slaves | |
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| Look for the Conflict | |
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| End with a Bang | |
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| Before Plunging In | |
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| In the Beginning ... Pulling Your Creation Out of the Void | |
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| Do I Really Need an Outline? | |
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| What's in a Title? | |
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| The Topic Paragraph | |
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| Topic Sentences | |
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| Keep the Flow Going | |
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| Sentences and Paragraphs | |
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| Be Specific | |
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| Show; Don't Tell | |
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| Choosing a Voice | |
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| Who Must You Pretend to Be? | |
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| Faking Other Voices | |
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| Sin Boldly! | |
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| Dialogue | |
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| Voices to Avoid | |
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| Dissing the Prof | |
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| Imagining Your Audience | |
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| Ungrammatical Voices | |
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| Breezy or Pompous? | |
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| Overwriting | |
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| Plain-Style American Populism | |
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| Yankee Doodle's Macaroni | |
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| McMurphy's "Average Asshole" | |
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| The All-American Con-Man | |
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| Empowering or Cowering | |
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| PC Patty | |
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| Business and Other Jargon | |
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| Bushwhacking Bush | |
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| Choosing Words | |
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| Piss and Urine | |
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| Christian Dogs | |
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| Being Niggardly About the Paddy Wagon | |
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| Snobs and Slobs | |
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| Cliches | |
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| Say What You Mean--Mean What You Say | |
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| The Prepositionless Excremental | |
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| Sexist Language | |
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| Past and Present | |
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| Poetic Prose | |
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| Arguing Your Case | |
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| No Right or Wrong | |
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| Make It Yours | |
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| Battle Tactics | |
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| VGs, AEs, and OAs | |
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| Show What You Know and Define Your Terms | |
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| Keep Your Argument Grounded | |
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| Refute! Reply! Fight Back! | |
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| The Propaganda Machine | |
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| How to Lose Your Case | |
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| Circular Reasoning | |
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| Just Say No to "Just" | |
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| Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc | |
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| Ad Hominem | |
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| False Choices | |
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| Non Sequitur | |
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| Teleological False Assumptions | |
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| Blaming the Victim | |
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| Emotionally Logical | |
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| For Instance: Three Examples | |
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| "Robert Frost: Gentle New England Satanist" | |
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| "Bouncing into Graceland" | |
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| "Women Are Like Boxcars" | |
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| Literary Games | |
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| What Is "Literature," Anyway? | |
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| The "Deep Inner Meaning" Debate | |
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| The Voice Behind the Voice | |
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| Searching for Symbols | |
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| Texts in Context | |
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| Class and the Classroom Context | |
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| Cynics and Essentialists | |
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| RaceGenderClass | |
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| Francobabble for Freshmen | |
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| Morality Plays | |
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| Dr. Dave's Dirty Dozen, or the Twelve Deadly Sins of Writing About Literature | |
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| The Social Sciences | |
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| What's the Dif? | |
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| Free to Be? Free at All? | |
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| Nature and Nurture | |
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| Praise and Blame | |
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| Cause and Effect Again | |
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| Constructed Snobs and Essential Slobs | |
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| Grammatical Horros | |
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| ONW--Omit Needless Words | |
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| NAS--Not a Sentence | |
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| MM--Misplaced Modifier | |
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| //--Parallelism Problem | |
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| A [not equal] They | |
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| AWK--Awkward | |
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| OOG--One Step Beyond AWK | |
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| BB--Back-to-Back | |
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| Typo--Typographical Error | |
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| SP--Spelling | |
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| WW--Wrong Word | |
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| Big Brother Bill Cannot Be Trusted | |
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| Some Common Stupid Mistakes | |
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| Its, It's, and Its' | |
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| One's and Theirs | |
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| The Split Infinitive | |
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| "Hopefully" and Other Controversies | |
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| Adjective or Adverb? | |
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| Prepositions and Their Pronouns | |
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| Fewer and Less | |
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| Who and Whom | |
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| Unclear Referents | |
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| I, Me, Mine | |
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| Subjunctive Dreams | |
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| Plurals | |
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| Hyphens | |
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| Must of Alot of Attitude | |
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| Edit Carefully! | |
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| "Punct'uation!?!" | |
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| Clueless High School Teachers | |
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| Commas | |
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| Semicolons | |
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| Colons | |
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| Quotation Marks | |
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| Block That Quote! | |
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| Parentheses (), Brackets [], and Dashes | |
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| Citing Sources Successfully | |
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| MLA Style | |
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| APA Style | |
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| Citing Cyberspace | |
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| Some Sample Quizzes--Just for Fun! | |
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| Test Your Skills | |
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| Why Punctuation Is Important | |
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| Why Punctuation Is Important: Two | |
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| Concluding Sermon | |
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| The Author's Rap Sheet | |
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| Index | |