Let's Pretend This Never Happened A Mostly True Memoir

ISBN-10: 0425261018
ISBN-13: 9780425261019
Edition: N/A
Authors: Jenny Lawson
List price: $16.00 Buy it from $3.00
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Description: Includes a new chapter!When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find  More...

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Book details

List price: $16.00
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 3/5/2013
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 352
Size: 5.50" wide x 8.25" long x 1.00" tall
Weight: 0.880
Language: English

Includes a new chapter!When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.In the irreverentLet’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives.Readers Guide Inside

Introduction
I Was a Three-Year-Old Arsonist
My Childhood: David Copperfield Meets Guns & Ammo Magazine
Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel
Don't Tell Your Parents
Jenkins, You Motherfucker
If You Need an Arm Condom, It Might Be Time to Reevaluate Some of Your Life Choices
Draw Me a Fucking Dog
And That's Why Neil Patrick Harris Would Be the Most Successful Mass Murderer Ever
No One Ever Taught Me Couch Etiquette
Just Your Average Engagement Story
It Wasn't Stew
Married on the Fourth of July
There's No Place Like Home
A Series of Helpful Post-it Notes I Left Around the House for My Husband This Week
The Dark and Disturbing Secrets HR Doesn't Want You to Know
If You See My Liver, You've Gone Too Far
My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking
Phone Conversation I Had with My Husband After I Got Lost for the Eighty Thousandth Time
And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a Serial Killer
Thanks for the Zombies, Jesus
Making Friends with Girls
I Am the Wizard of Oz of Housewives (In That I Am Both "Great and Terrible" and Because I Sometimes Hide Behind the Curtains)
The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door
An Open Letter to My Husband, Who Is Asleep in the Next Room
Just to Clarify: We Don't Sleep with Goats
Stabbed by Chicken
It Wasn't Even My Crack
Honestly, I Don't Even Know Where I Got That Machete: A Comic Tragedy in Three Parts Days
I'm Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young Priest
And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles
Hairless Rats: Free for Kids Only
And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane
You Can't Go Home Again (Unless You Want to Get Mauled by Wild Dogs)
Epilogue
The End (Sort of)
True Facts
Bonus Chapter: There's a Serious Lack of Prostitutes on This Tour
Acknowledgments
Readers Guide

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