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| A Note on Texts and Sources | |
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| Introduction: True Stories, Too Good to Be True | |
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| Jumping to Conclusions | |
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| "The Brain Drain" | |
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| "The Solid Cement Cadillac" | |
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| "The Package of Cookies" | |
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| "The Tube on the Tube" | |
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| "The Surpriser Surprised" | |
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| "Why I Fired My Secretary" | |
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| "The Engaged Couple" | |
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| "The Fart in the Dark" | |
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| "The Hairdresser's Error" | |
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| "The Stolen Wallet" | |
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| "The Mexican Pet" | |
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| "The Hare Dryer" | |
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| As told by Johnny Carson | |
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| As told by Michael Landon to Johnny Carson | |
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| "The Air-Freighted Pet" | |
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| As told by Paul Harvey | |
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| "The Poisoned Pussycat at the Party" | |
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| "The Bug under the Rug" | |
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| As told by Alex Thien | |
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| Classic Dog Tales | |
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| "The Choking Doberman" | |
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| "The Swiss Charred Poodle" | |
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| "Not My Dog" | |
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| "The Licked Hand" | |
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| "The Crushed Dog" | |
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| "The Dog in the High-Rise" | |
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| As told by Truman Capote to Lawrence Grobel | |
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| "Fifi Spills the Paint," aka "Kitty Takes the Rap" | |
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| "Take the Puppy and Run" | |
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| Just Deserts | |
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| "The Loaded Dog" | |
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| "The Plant's Revenge" | |
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| "The Dead Cat in the Package" | |
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| "The Runaway Grandmother" | |
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| "The $50 Porsche" | |
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| "Dial R-E-V-E-N-G-E" | |
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| "Revenge of the Rich" | |
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| As told by Paul Harvey | |
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| "Gag Me with a Siphon" | |
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| "The Stolen Specimen" | |
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| "The Videotaped Theft" | |
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| "Urban Pancake" | |
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| "The Will" | |
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| "Promiscuity Rewarded" | |
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| Automania | |
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| "The Hook" | |
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| "The Severed Fingers" | |
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| "Decapitated Drivers and Riders" | |
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| "The Killer in the Back Seat" | |
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| As told on Late Night with David Letterman | |
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| "The Hairy-Armed Hitchhiker" | |
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| "The Boyfriend's Death" | |
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| "The Slasher under the Car" | |
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| "The Elephant That Sat on the VW" | |
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| "The Arrest" | |
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| "The Body on the Car" | |
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| "The Wife Left Behind" | |
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| "The Baby on the Roof" | |
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| "The Nut and the Tire Nuts" | |
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| "The Pig on the Road" | |
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| "Let's Give Toll Takers a Hand" | |
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| "The Bargain Sports Car" | |
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| Sexcapades | |
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| "The Stuck Couple" | |
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| "Stick-Shift Frenzy" | |
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| "The Bothered Bride" and "The Grumbling Groom" | |
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| "Filmed in the Act" | |
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| "Superhero Hijinks" | |
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| "Sex in Disguise" | |
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| "AIDS Mary" and "AIDS Harry" | |
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| Losing Face | |
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| "The Unzipped Plumber (or Mechanic)" | |
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| "The Unzipped Fly" | |
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| "The Golf Bag" | |
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| "The Unlucky Contacts" | |
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| "The Wrong Teeth" | |
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| "Bungling Brides" | |
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| "The Nude Bachelor" | |
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| "Come and Get It!" | |
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| "A License to Practice" | |
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| "The Witness's Note" | |
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| "The Blind Date" | |
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| "Buying Tampax" | |
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| Accidents Will Happen | |
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| "Give Me a High Three" | |
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| "The Lawn Mower Accident" | |
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| "The Ski Accident" | |
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| "The Barrel of Bricks" | |
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| "Up a Tree" | |
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| "The Last Kiss" | |
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| "The Death of Little Mikey" | |
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| Creepy Contaminations | |
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| "The Kentucky Fried Rat" | |
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| "The Mouse in the Coke" | |
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| "Alligators in the Sewers" | |
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| "The Snake in the Store" | |
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| "A Bug in the Ear" | |
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| "Spiders in the Hairdo" | |
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| "The Spider Bite" | |
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| "Spider Eggs in Bubble Yum" | |
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| "The Spider in the Cactus" | |
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| "The Poison Dress" | |
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| "The Corpse in the Cask" | |
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| "The Accidental Cannibals" | |
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| "Hold the Mayo! Hold the Mozzarella!" | |
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| Sick Humor | |
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| "The Kafkaesque Hospital Visit" | |
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| "Dental Death" | |
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| "The Relative's Cadaver" | |
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| "Gerbilling" | |
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| "Scrotum Self-Repair" | |
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| "Superglue Revenge" | |
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| "The Runaway Patient" | |
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| Bringing Up Baby | |
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| "The Hippie Baby-Sitter" | |
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| "The Baby-Sitter and the Man Upstairs" | |
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| "Baby's Stuck at Home Alone" | |
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| "The Inept Mother" | |
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| "The Stuffed Baby" | |
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| Strange Things Happen | |
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| "The Vanishing Hitchhiker" | |
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| "The Lost Wreck" | |
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| "The Death Car" | |
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| "The Missing Day in Time" | |
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| "The Ghost in Search of Help" | |
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| "The Well to Hell" | |
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| "The Ghostly Videotape" | |
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| "A Dirt-Cheap Way to Sell Real Estate" | |
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| "The Devil in the Disco" | |
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| Funny Business | |
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| "The Bedbug Letter" | |
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| "Red Velvet Cake" | |
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| "Neiman Marcus Cookies" | |
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| "Find the Hat" | |
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| "The Wife on the Flight" | |
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| "Redemption Rumors" | |
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| "The Body in the Bed" | |
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| "The Cabbage Patch Tragedy" | |
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| The World of Work | |
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| "The Rattle in the Cadillac" | |
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| "The Roughneck's Revenge" | |
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| "Fixing the Flue" | |
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| "The Locked-Out Pilot" | |
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| "Language Boners: The Folklore of Paperwork" | |
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| "The Wordy Government Memo" | |
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| Baffled by Technology | |
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| "The Microwaved Pet" | |
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| "The Technology Contest" | |
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| "Curses! Broiled Again!" | |
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| "Push-Starting the Car" | |
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| "Cruise Control" | |
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| "The Ice-Cream Car" | |
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| The Criminal Mind | |
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| "The Colander Copier Caper" | |
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| "A Friend of the Family" | |
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| "The Two Hitchhikers" | |
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| "The Double Theft" | |
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| "The Robber Who Was Hurt" | |
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| "A Double-Whammy Theft Legend" | |
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| As told by Jack Paar | |
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| "The Grocery Scam" | |
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| "The Shoplifter's Hat" | |
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| "Indecent Exposure" | |
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| "The Attempted Abduction" | |
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| "The Unstealable Car" | |
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| "Stripping the Car" | |
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| "Get Out of Here!" | |
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| Human Nature | |
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| "The Baby Train" | |
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| "The Trained Professor" | |
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| "Cussing and Clowns" | |
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| "Take My Tickets, Please!" | |
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| "The Dishonest Note" | |
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| "Pass It On" | |
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| "The Lottery Ticket" | |
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| "Dial 911 for Help" | |
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| Strays from the Wild Kingdom | |
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| "The Kangaroo Thief" | |
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| "The Deer Departed" | |
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| "Horsing Around" | |
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| "The Hapless Water Skier" | |
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| "The Giant Catfish" | |
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| "The Flying Cow" | |
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| "The Fatal Boot" | |
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| "Snakes in the Amusement Park" | |
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| "The Snake in the Stawberry Patch" | |
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| Pet Problems | |
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| "The Bump in the Rug" | |
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| "The Pet Nabber" | |
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| "The Flying Kitten" | |
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| "The Missionaries and the Cat" | |
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| "The Bungled Rescue of the Cat" | |
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| "The Eaten Pets" | |
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| "The Pet and the Naked Man" | |
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| Slapstick Comedy | |
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| "The Exploding Toilet" | |
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| "Stuck on the Toilet" | |
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| "The Man on the Roof" | |
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| "The Exploding Bra" | |
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| "The Nude Housewife" | |
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| "The Nude in the RV" | |
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| "The Stunned Deer--or Deer Stunt" | |
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| Bogus Warnings | |
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| "Blue Star Acid" | |
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| "Lights Out!" | |
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| "The Good Times Virus" | |
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| "The Kidney Heist" | |
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| "The Welded Contacts" | |
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| "The Procter and Gamble Trademark" | |
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| "The Madalyn Murray O'Hair Petition" | |
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| "The Veterans' Insurance Dividend" | |
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| Mistaken Identifications | |
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| "The Elevator Incident" | |
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| "It All Started with Neil (Or Did It?)" | |
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| "Sit, Whitey!" | |
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| "Black and White" | |
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| "The Ice-Cream-Cone Caper" | |
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| As told by Paul Harvey | |
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| "The Blind Man" | |
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| Campus Capers | |
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| "The Dormitory Surprise" | |
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| "The Gay Roommate" | |
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| "The Roommate's Death" | |
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| "Switched Campus Buildings" | |
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| "Sinking Libraries" | |
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| "The Acrobatic Professor" | |
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| "The Telltale Report" | |
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| "The Daughter's Letter from College" | |
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| "The Barometer Problem" | |
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| "Term Paper Trickery" | |
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| "The Bird Foot Exam" | |
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| "Do You Know Who I Am?" | |
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| "Tricky Q and A" | |
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| "The Second Blue Book" | |
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| "True" Urban Legends | |
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| "The Pregnant Shoplifter" | |
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| "The Unsolvable Math Problem" | |
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| "The Heel in the Grate" | |
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| "Craig's World-Record Collection" | |
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| "Green Stamps" | |
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| "The Bullet Baby" | |
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| Epilogue: Urban Legend Parodies | |