Hold on to Your Kids Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

ISBN-10: 0375760288

ISBN-13: 9780375760280

Edition: N/A

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Description: A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children’s inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids

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Book details

List price: $16.00
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 8/15/2006
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 352
Size: 5.25" wide x 8.00" long x 0.75" tall
Weight: 0.550
Language: English

The Phenomenon of Peer Orientation
Why Parents Matter More Than Ever
Skewed Attachments, Subverted Instincts
Why We've Come Undone
Sabotaged: How Peer Orientation Undermines Parenting
The Power to Parent Is Slipping Away
From Help to Hindrance: When Attachment Works Against Us
Counterwill: Why Children Become Disobedient
The Flatlining of Culture
Stuck in Immaturity: How Peer Orientation Stunts Healthy Development
The Dangerous Flight from Feeling
Stuck in Immaturity
A Legacy of Aggression
The Making of Bullies and Victims
A Sexual Turn
Unteachable Students
How to Hold on to Our Kids (or How to Reclaim Them)
Collecting Our Children
Preserve the Ties That Empower
Discipline That Does Not Divide
Preventing Peer Orientation
Don't Court the Competition
Re-create the Attachment Village
Glossary
Notes
Index
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