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Acknowledgments | |
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Introduction: Do You Know This Teenager? | |
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Understanding Why Your Teen Is Out of Control | |
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Top 7 Reasons for Teen Misbehavior | |
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Unclear Rules | |
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Not Keeping Up with Your Teen's Thinking | |
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Button-Pushing | |
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Teenager Drunk with Power | |
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The Pleasure Principle | |
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Peer Power | |
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Misuse of Outside Forces | |
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A Road Map of Defeat and a New Highway to Success | |
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The Left Fork in the Road: "I Will Not Take Charge" p24 | |
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The Right Fork in the Road: "I Will Take Charge" | |
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The Third Fork in the Road: Fake It Until You Make It | |
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Writing an Ironclad Contract with Clear Rules and Consequences | |
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Why Your Current Contracts Fail | |
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How to Write a Contract That Works | |
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Tackle Only One or Two Problems at a Time | |
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Convert Problems into Concrete Rules | |
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Create a Well-Written Consequence | |
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Use Both Positive and Negative Consequences | |
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Put the Written Contract Together | |
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Include Your Teenager's Input and Expertise | |
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Be Consistent in Following Through | |
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Catch Your Teen Doing Something Right | |
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Troubleshooting: How to Think Two Steps Ahead of Your Teenager | |
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Coming Up with Plan B When Plan A Fails | |
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Anticipate What Your Teen Will Do Next | |
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Troubleshoot Underlying Family Problems | |
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Button Pushing: Why Your Teen Wins Arguments | |
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Find Your Parental Buttons | |
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Find Your Teenager's Buttons | |
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Button-Buster Techniques | |
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Stopping Your Teenager's Seven Aces: Disrespect, Truancy, Running Away, Teen Pregnancy, Alcohol or Drug Abuse, Violence, and Suicide Threats | |
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Disrespect | |
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Clearly Define Disrespect | |
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Choose Your Battles Wisely | |
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Two Can Play at That Game | |
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A Hierarchy of Consequences | |
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Lavish Praise and Appreciation | |
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Do the Unexpected | |
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The Pawn Broker | |
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Truancy or Failing Grades | |
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Work Collaboratively with the School | |
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Positive Praise and Recognition | |
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Grounding | |
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The Pawn Broker for School Issues | |
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Attending School | |
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Home Schooling or Switching Schools: A Last Resort | |
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Running Away | |
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Figure Out Why Your Teen Runs Away | |
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Use Your Teen as an Expert | |
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The Stealth Bomber Consequences | |
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The Gandhi Consequence | |
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Teen Pregnancy or Sexual Promiscuity | |
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Build Your Teen's Self-Esteem | |
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Talk to Your Teen About Sex | |
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Closely Monitor Internet Use and Abuse | |
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Contractual Contraception | |
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Real Teens, Real Stories | |
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Alcohol or Drug Abuse | |
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Find Out How Often Your Teenager Is Using | |
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The Prime Suspect | |
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Underage Posters and Shadowing | |
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Fines and Misdemeanors | |
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Invade Your Teen's Privacy | |
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Relapse Is Normal; Prepare for It | |
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Spiritual Anchors and Nurturance | |
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It Takes a Village to Help a Drug Addict | |
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Address Any Underlying Family Issues | |
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Threats or Acts of Violence | |
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The Nonviolent Town Meeting | |
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The Old MacDonald Consequence | |
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A Cowritten Antiviolence Contract | |
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Monitor Your Teen Closely | |
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Accountability and the Police | |
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Nurturance: The Antivenin of Violence | |
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Threats of Suicide | |
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The Risk of Suicide | |
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A Twenty-four-hour Watch | |
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An Antisuicide Contract | |
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There Is Strength in Numbers: How to Mobilize Outside Helpers Like Friends, Neighbors, and Police Officers | |
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Know the Playing Field | |
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Mobilizing Friends or Neighbors | |
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Mobilizing Churches, Synagogues, and Extended Family | |
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Getting Help from Child Protective Services (CPS) or the Police | |
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Mobilizing Counselors | |
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Working with Institutions (Schools, Hospitals, Foster Care, and Probation Officers) | |
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Mobilizing Your Teen's Peer Group | |
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Reclaiming Love Between You and Your Teenager | |
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The Fine Line Between Love and Hate | |
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Timing Is Everything | |
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Emotional Warm-ups | |
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Five Toxic Behaviors That Poison Your Relationship with Your Teen | |
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Six Strategies to Reclaim Love Between You and Your Teenager | |
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Special Outings | |
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Accept Underlying Feelings | |
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The Power of Hugs | |
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Be the First to Restore Good Feelings | |
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Give Your Teen Opportunities to Regain Trust | |
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Creating Soft Talk | |
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The Next Step What to Do If These Steps Fail or You Experience Special Circumstances: Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamily, or Teen Emotional Problems | |
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Get Support on the Internet and in Your Own Town | |
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Understanding the Complexities of Single Parenthood, Divorce, Stepfamilies, and Teenage Emotional Problems | |
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Single Parenthood | |
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Difficult Divorces | |
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Stepfamily Issues | |
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Teenage Emotional Problems | |
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Final Thoughts | |
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Choosing the Right Counselor for You | |
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Index | |