How to Hug a Porcupine Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years

ISBN-10: 0071545891

ISBN-13: 9780071545891

Edition: 2008

Authors: Julie A. Ross

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Book details

List price: $15.95
Copyright year: 2008
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies, The
Publication date: 7/23/2008
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 224
Size: 6.00" wide x 9.00" long x 0.75" tall
Weight: 0.660
Language: English

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Middle-Schoolers: Hormonal, Disorganized, and Defiant: "You Never Listen to me Anymore. I Hate My Life!"
Hairy and Horrible Hormones
Metamorphosis
The Long View of Parenting
The Relationship Approach
Listening with Heart
Love Tickets
Can You Really Love a Porcupine?
The Overwhelmed "Slacker": "You Have no Idea How Much Stress I'm Under!"
A Vicious Cycle
Handling Your Own Feelings
Helping the Overwhelmed Slacker
How to Break the Nagging Cycle and Turn Responsibility Over to Your Middle Schooler: "Ok, I Get it! I'm Not A Baby Anymore."
Feelings Run Deep
Natural Consequences
The Sandwich Technique
Exhibiting Trust
The Trust Contract
How'd They Do?
Peer Pressure and Changing Values: "But Everyone In My Grade Is Doing It!"
Aren't These Choices Confined to High School?
The Skill of "Tell Me More"
"Sandwiching" to Get Your Values Across
Respecting Your Preteen's Changing Biology
What Are Family Meetings?
Dealing with Defiance: "I'm Going Into My Room, and I'm Never Coming Out!"
Forgive Yourself
Understanding Your Middle Schooler's Behavior
Communication Blocks
The Dance of Defiance
A Proactive Approach: Don't Dance to Begin With
So, Now What? Applying What We've Learned
The Computer "Addiction": "Just Let Me Finish This 'Level,' OK?"
Computer Addiction: Reality or Myth?
Staying Informed
Keeping Our Kids Safe
Computer Use and Personal Safety
Trust Your Instincts
The Communication Component
Information We Need to Present
The Two Most Powerful Tools
Encouraging Self-Esteem and Independence: "I Can't Do It. I Want You To Help Me!"
What Is Courage?
The Components of Self-Esteem
Developmental Readiness
Calling Forth Independence
What Happens When the Fear Is Reasonable?
The Push for Independence: "I'm Going Out. See Ya Later!"
Self-Esteem Versus Hubris
Protection Versus Overprotection
Communicating Without Discouraging
The Value of Planting Seeds
Setting Limits Without Robbing Our Children of Courage
Talking About Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol: "Why Are We Talking About This? I Mean, Really, I Just Ate!"
Our Children Already Know a Lot
Can't I Get My Spouse to Tell the Kids?
Irony, Thy Name Is Sex
Handling Your Embarrassment
How to Begin
What Information Do We Need to Impart?
Using Family Meetings to Talk About Sex
How Isabelle Talked to Mitchell About the Condom
Educating or Condoning?
And What About Drugs and Alcohol?
Sibling Rivalry: A New Level of Competition: "I Hate Her. She's The Worst Sister In The Whole World!"
The Changing Relationship
The Love Scoreboard: Your Role in the Chaos
Using Different Techniques for Different Arguments
Proactive Parenting
One Final Technique: Love Tickets
How a Relationship Approach Affects Life After Middle School: "I'm So Lucky That You're My Mom."
The Enjoyable Aspects of Middle Schoolers
Focusing on the Positive
Is It Worth It?
Relationship Equals Influence
My Hope for You
References
Index
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