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Acknowledgments | |
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Introduction | |
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Middle-Schoolers: Hormonal, Disorganized, and Defiant: "You Never Listen to me Anymore. I Hate My Life!" | |
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Hairy and Horrible Hormones | |
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Metamorphosis | |
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The Long View of Parenting | |
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The Relationship Approach | |
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Listening with Heart | |
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Love Tickets | |
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Can You Really Love a Porcupine? | |
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The Overwhelmed "Slacker": "You Have no Idea How Much Stress I'm Under!" | |
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A Vicious Cycle | |
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Handling Your Own Feelings | |
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Helping the Overwhelmed Slacker | |
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How to Break the Nagging Cycle and Turn Responsibility Over to Your Middle Schooler: "Ok, I Get it! I'm Not A Baby Anymore." | |
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Feelings Run Deep | |
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Natural Consequences | |
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The Sandwich Technique | |
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Exhibiting Trust | |
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The Trust Contract | |
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How'd They Do? | |
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Peer Pressure and Changing Values: "But Everyone In My Grade Is Doing It!" | |
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Aren't These Choices Confined to High School? | |
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The Skill of "Tell Me More" | |
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"Sandwiching" to Get Your Values Across | |
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Respecting Your Preteen's Changing Biology | |
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What Are Family Meetings? | |
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Dealing with Defiance: "I'm Going Into My Room, and I'm Never Coming Out!" | |
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Forgive Yourself | |
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Understanding Your Middle Schooler's Behavior | |
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Communication Blocks | |
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The Dance of Defiance | |
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A Proactive Approach: Don't Dance to Begin With | |
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So, Now What? Applying What We've Learned | |
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The Computer "Addiction": "Just Let Me Finish This 'Level,' OK?" | |
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Computer Addiction: Reality or Myth? | |
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Staying Informed | |
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Keeping Our Kids Safe | |
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Computer Use and Personal Safety | |
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Trust Your Instincts | |
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The Communication Component | |
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Information We Need to Present | |
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The Two Most Powerful Tools | |
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Encouraging Self-Esteem and Independence: "I Can't Do It. I Want You To Help Me!" | |
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What Is Courage? | |
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The Components of Self-Esteem | |
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Developmental Readiness | |
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Calling Forth Independence | |
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What Happens When the Fear Is Reasonable? | |
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The Push for Independence: "I'm Going Out. See Ya Later!" | |
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Self-Esteem Versus Hubris | |
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Protection Versus Overprotection | |
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Communicating Without Discouraging | |
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The Value of Planting Seeds | |
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Setting Limits Without Robbing Our Children of Courage | |
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Talking About Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol: "Why Are We Talking About This? I Mean, Really, I Just Ate!" | |
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Our Children Already Know a Lot | |
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Can't I Get My Spouse to Tell the Kids? | |
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Irony, Thy Name Is Sex | |
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Handling Your Embarrassment | |
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How to Begin | |
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What Information Do We Need to Impart? | |
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Using Family Meetings to Talk About Sex | |
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How Isabelle Talked to Mitchell About the Condom | |
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Educating or Condoning? | |
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And What About Drugs and Alcohol? | |
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Sibling Rivalry: A New Level of Competition: "I Hate Her. She's The Worst Sister In The Whole World!" | |
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The Changing Relationship | |
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The Love Scoreboard: Your Role in the Chaos | |
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Using Different Techniques for Different Arguments | |
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Proactive Parenting | |
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One Final Technique: Love Tickets | |
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How a Relationship Approach Affects Life After Middle School: "I'm So Lucky That You're My Mom." | |
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The Enjoyable Aspects of Middle Schoolers | |
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Focusing on the Positive | |
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Is It Worth It? | |
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Relationship Equals Influence | |
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My Hope for You | |
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References | |
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Index | |