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| Acknowledgments | |
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| Introduction | |
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| Middle-Schoolers: Hormonal, Disorganized, and Defiant: "You Never Listen to me Anymore. I Hate My Life!" | |
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| Hairy and Horrible Hormones | |
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| Metamorphosis | |
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| The Long View of Parenting | |
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| The Relationship Approach | |
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| Listening with Heart | |
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| Love Tickets | |
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| Can You Really Love a Porcupine? | |
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| The Overwhelmed "Slacker": "You Have no Idea How Much Stress I'm Under!" | |
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| A Vicious Cycle | |
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| Handling Your Own Feelings | |
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| Helping the Overwhelmed Slacker | |
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| How to Break the Nagging Cycle and Turn Responsibility Over to Your Middle Schooler: "Ok, I Get it! I'm Not A Baby Anymore." | |
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| Feelings Run Deep | |
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| Natural Consequences | |
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| The Sandwich Technique | |
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| Exhibiting Trust | |
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| The Trust Contract | |
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| How'd They Do? | |
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| Peer Pressure and Changing Values: "But Everyone In My Grade Is Doing It!" | |
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| Aren't These Choices Confined to High School? | |
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| The Skill of "Tell Me More" | |
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| "Sandwiching" to Get Your Values Across | |
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| Respecting Your Preteen's Changing Biology | |
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| What Are Family Meetings? | |
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| Dealing with Defiance: "I'm Going Into My Room, and I'm Never Coming Out!" | |
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| Forgive Yourself | |
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| Understanding Your Middle Schooler's Behavior | |
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| Communication Blocks | |
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| The Dance of Defiance | |
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| A Proactive Approach: Don't Dance to Begin With | |
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| So, Now What? Applying What We've Learned | |
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| The Computer "Addiction": "Just Let Me Finish This 'Level,' OK?" | |
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| Computer Addiction: Reality or Myth? | |
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| Staying Informed | |
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| Keeping Our Kids Safe | |
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| Computer Use and Personal Safety | |
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| Trust Your Instincts | |
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| The Communication Component | |
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| Information We Need to Present | |
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| The Two Most Powerful Tools | |
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| Encouraging Self-Esteem and Independence: "I Can't Do It. I Want You To Help Me!" | |
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| What Is Courage? | |
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| The Components of Self-Esteem | |
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| Developmental Readiness | |
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| Calling Forth Independence | |
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| What Happens When the Fear Is Reasonable? | |
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| The Push for Independence: "I'm Going Out. See Ya Later!" | |
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| Self-Esteem Versus Hubris | |
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| Protection Versus Overprotection | |
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| Communicating Without Discouraging | |
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| The Value of Planting Seeds | |
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| Setting Limits Without Robbing Our Children of Courage | |
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| Talking About Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol: "Why Are We Talking About This? I Mean, Really, I Just Ate!" | |
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| Our Children Already Know a Lot | |
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| Can't I Get My Spouse to Tell the Kids? | |
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| Irony, Thy Name Is Sex | |
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| Handling Your Embarrassment | |
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| How to Begin | |
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| What Information Do We Need to Impart? | |
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| Using Family Meetings to Talk About Sex | |
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| How Isabelle Talked to Mitchell About the Condom | |
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| Educating or Condoning? | |
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| And What About Drugs and Alcohol? | |
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| Sibling Rivalry: A New Level of Competition: "I Hate Her. She's The Worst Sister In The Whole World!" | |
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| The Changing Relationship | |
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| The Love Scoreboard: Your Role in the Chaos | |
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| Using Different Techniques for Different Arguments | |
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| Proactive Parenting | |
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| One Final Technique: Love Tickets | |
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| How a Relationship Approach Affects Life After Middle School: "I'm So Lucky That You're My Mom." | |
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| The Enjoyable Aspects of Middle Schoolers | |
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| Focusing on the Positive | |
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| Is It Worth It? | |
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| Relationship Equals Influence | |
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| My Hope for You | |
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| References | |
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| Index | |