I Thought We'D Never Speak Again The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation

ISBN-10: 0060957026

ISBN-13: 9780060957025

Edition: 2003

Authors: Laura Davis

List price: $15.99 Buy it from $5.11
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Description:

In her bestselling classic The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis helped millions heal from the pain of child sexual abuse. Now, in I Thought We'd Never Speak Again, she tackles another critical, emerging issue: reconciling relationships that have been damaged by betrayal, anger, and misunderstanding. With clarity and compassion, Davis maps the reconciliation process through gripping first-person stories of people who have mended relationships in a wide variety of circumstances. In these pages, parents reconcile with children, embittered siblings reconnect, angry friends reunite, and war veterans and crime victims meet with their enemies. Davis weaves these powerful accounts with her own experiences reconciling with her mother after a long, painful estrangement. Making a crucial distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness, Davis explains how people can make peace in relationships without necessarily forgiving past hurts. In addition to a special section called "Ideas for Reflection and Discussion," she includes a self-assessment quiz, "Are You Ready for Reconciliation?" Whether you want to reconcile a relationship that has ended, improve a relationship that is difficult or distant, or learn the skills you need for dealing with the inevitable conflicts we all face in life, this book will teach you to mend troubled relationships and find peace.
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Book details

List price: $15.99
Copyright year: 2003
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 4/29/2003
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 368
Size: 5.25" wide x 8.25" long x 0.75" tall
Weight: 0.594
Language: English

A singer/songwriter for over 25 years, Laura J. Davis turned to writing full-time after an emergency surgery caused the loss of her singing voice. Her debut novel about the life of Christ through the eyes of His mother, Come to Me, is a Reader's Favorite Award winner. Her latest book, Learning from the Master, Living a Surrendered Life, is a companion study guide to Come to Me. When she isn't writing Laura is reviewing books and teaching bible studies. You can reach her at www.laurajdavis.com.

Acknowledgments
A Special Preface to the First Edition
Introduction: The Path of Reconciliation
Preparing the Ground
Growing Through the Pain: Estrangement, Time, and Maturity
The Pain of Estrangement
The Roots of Estrangement
One Disappointment at a Time
In Order to Reconcile, the Wound Can't Be Too Fresh
Growing Bitter, Growing Sweet
Life Shapes Us
Rachel Thomas: Flying to My Sister's Side
Death as a Teacher
The Lessons Children Bring
Maturity Allows Us to Embrace Paradox
To Everything, There Is a Season
Building a Self: The Importance of Autonomy
The Importance of Boundaries
When Injuries Are Unforgivable
Dana Roper: Returning the Gift He Gave Me
When It's Time to Move On
Kathleen Ryan: When Memories Are Disputed
Establishing Terms of Engagement
The Difference Between Reconciliation and Capitulation
Finding Clarity: The Task of Discernment
What's Happening Now?
What's My Role in This Estrangement?
What's the Bigger Picture?
Bridging the Generation Gap
What Is the Other Person Capable Of?
The Changes Were Going to Have to Happen Inside of Me
What Kind of Person Do I Want to Be?
Sharon Tobin: Choosing Compassion for a Dying Parent
Does This Relationship Warrant Reconciliation?
A Personal Decision
Sara and Tom Brown: Facing a Broken Marriage
Believing That People Can Change
Different Circumstances, Different Choices
How Close Do I Want to Be?
Am I Prepared to Deal with the Outcome?
Elizabeth Menkin: She Owes Us a Life
From Discernment to Action
Marshaling Your Strength
Taking the First Steps: Gathering Courage
Gary Geiger: Facing the Man Who Shot Me
The Courage to Face Uncertainty
Wendy Richter: Sometimes It's Enough for Things to Be Just a Little Bit Better
Fear Doesn't Have to Stop You
What Am I Afraid Of?
First Steps
Taking the First Step
Slow but Steady Wins the Race
Taking Risks Gradually
The Courage to Face Yourself
Kay Kessler: Growing a New Relationship
The Courage to Change
The Myth of the Cowardly Lion
Persistence Over Time: The Importance of Determination
Being Resolute in Your Goals
Beth Tanzman: I Just Had to Find Him
Responses and Rejoinders
Miriam Gladys: Making Amends to My Children
Seeking Help Where You Can Find It
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Bruce Stevens: Creating Detente in the Family
Expecting the Process to Have Ups and Downs
Deciding to Let Go of the Past
Kate Gillen: Fighting over My Father's Will
Creating a New Future Together
Establishing New Ways to Connect
Bridging Distance, Getting Closer
Honoring Everybody Involved
Spiritual Strength Leads to Determination
Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: Victims on Both Sides of the Gun
Reconciliation Is a Choice
Opening the Heart
Communication That Furthers Closeness: The Role of Listening and Honesty
It Was Better Not to Talk About It
Barbara Newman: E-Mailing My Brother After Thirty Years
The Relationship Between Honesty and Discernment
Choosing to Focus on What You Have Now
Mindfulness and Honesty
Paul Howerton: Deciding Not to Talk to My Father
Hearing My Mother's Story
We Needed to Talk About It
Kate Howard: Creating a New History
Learning to Listen
An Opening of Doors
Shawnee Undell: Receiving My Mother's Story
The Marriage of Authenticity and Kindness
Richard Hoffman: Half the House
Another Profound Truth
Melodye Feldman: Bringing Palestinian and Israeli Girls Together
When Honesty Changes the World
Recognizing Our Shared Humanity: Finding Compassion
Discernment with Heart
Antonio de la Pena: Washing My Mother's Hair
Compassion Begins with Acceptance
Learning to Live with a Broken Heart
Facing Mistakes with Love
Compassion Comes from a Place of Wholeness
Sometimes Just a Little Is Enough
Compassion as a Choice
Marc Levy: Understanding "The Sorrow of War"
Bringing Together the Ultimate Enemies
Armand Volkas: Bringing Together Children of Holocaust Survivors and Children of Nazis
The Road from Revenge to Compassion: Six Steps That Can Change Enemies into Allies
This Work Is About the Future
Acts of Reconciliation: A Sharing of Poetry
Compassion Moves Out into the World
Making Amends
Taking Responsibility: The Role of Humility and Accountability
The Price of Pride
Acknowledging Your Own Weaknesses
Taking Stock, Looking Within
Celia Sommer: Letting Go of Being Wronged
Learning to Apologize
The Role of Remorse and Respect
From Apology to Action
Pete Salmansohn: Choosing to Get Close Again
The Accountability Continuum
The Courage to Admit a Wrong
Franklin Carter: A Violent Man Changes His Life
The Healing Power of Accountability
Accountability Leads to Self-Respect
The Question of Forgiveness
Forgiveness as Something You Work At
Forgiveness as a Spiritual Gift
Forgiveness as Something That Requires Accountability
Rabbi Steven Fink: Responding Compassionately to Hate
Forgiveness as Something That Happens Unilaterally
The Trouble with Pseudo-Forgiveness
Resolution Is Possible Without Forgiveness
Vicki Malloy: Rebuilding a Relationship with My Perpetrator
Are Some Things Unforgivable?
A Personal Decision
Finding Peace
When Reconciliation Is Impossible: The Task of Letting Go
Accepting That the Relationship Is Over
Letting Go When You Don't Know Why the Relationship Ended
Peggy O'Neill: It's in Her Hands Now
Letting Go Is a Process
Helen Meyers: I Can't Force Him to Open the Door
Leaving the Porch Light On
Pam Leeds: Compassion from Afar
The Opposite of Estrangement
When We Meet Again: The Benefits of Reconciliation
Enjoying the Pleasures of Recovered Love
Reweaving the Web of Community
Reconciliation Leads to Peace
Reconciliation Rekindles Optimism
A Deep Sense of Peace
Free Reconciliation Newsletter
Are You Ready for Reconciliation?
Ideas for Reflection and Discussion
Index
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