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    If You Had Controlling Parents How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World

    ISBN-10: 0060929324
    ISBN-13: 9780060929329
    Author(s): Dan Neuharth
    Description: Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating  More...
    List price: $14.99
    Buy it from: $1.39
    This item will ship on Tuesday, September 23 .

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    List Price: $14.99
    Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
    Binding: Paperback
    Pages: 272
    Size: 5.00" wide x 7.75" long x 0.50" tall
    Weight: 0.440
    Language: English

    Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood--and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.

    Acknowledgments
    To the Reader
    Introduction: Did You Grow Up With Unhealthy Control?
    Naming the Problem
    Healthier Parenting Versus Controlling Parenting
    Smothering Parenting: Life Under a Microscope
    Depriving Parenting: Playing "Take Away"
    Perfectionistic Parenting: A Place for Everything (and Everything Had Better Be in Place)
    Cultlike Parenting: Obedience with a Missionary Zeal
    Chaotic Parenting: Life in the Quicksand Lane
    Using Parenting: "Me First" Child Raising
    Abusing Parenting: "Do It or Else" Child Raising
    Childlike Parenting: "Can't Do" Child Raising
    Summary of the Eight Styles
    Understanding the Problem
    How Overcontrol Works
    Putting It All Together: Meet Your Internalized Parents
    The Adult-Life Legacies of Growing up Controlled
    Letting Go of the Legacies: Giving up the Distortions of the Internalized Parents
    Why Parents Overcontrol
    Controllers' Fears
    Solving the Problem
    Emotionally Leaving Home
    Separating from Unhealthy Family Ties
    Bringing Balance to Your Relationship with Your Parents
    How Can I Set Healthier Boundaries with My Parents?
    Should I Confront My Parents?
    Can I Forgive My Parents?
    Can I Accept My Parents?
    Should I Reduce or Break Contact with My Parents?
    Family Quandaries
    Redefining Your Life
    Nine Powerful Paths for Growth and Healing
    Making Meaning
    The Book in a Nutshell
    Works Cited

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