If You Had Controlling Parents How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World

ISBN-10: 0060929324
ISBN-13: 9780060929329
Edition: N/A
Author(s): Dan Neuharth
Description: Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating  More...
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List Price: $14.99
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication Date: 9/8/1999
Binding: Paperback
Pages: 272
Size: 5.00" wide x 7.75" long x 0.50" tall
Weight: 0.440
Language: English

Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood--and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.

Acknowledgments
To the Reader
Introduction: Did You Grow Up With Unhealthy Control?
Naming the Problem
Healthier Parenting Versus Controlling Parenting
Smothering Parenting: Life Under a Microscope
Depriving Parenting: Playing "Take Away"
Perfectionistic Parenting: A Place for Everything (and Everything Had Better Be in Place)
Cultlike Parenting: Obedience with a Missionary Zeal
Chaotic Parenting: Life in the Quicksand Lane
Using Parenting: "Me First" Child Raising
Abusing Parenting: "Do It or Else" Child Raising
Childlike Parenting: "Can't Do" Child Raising
Summary of the Eight Styles
Understanding the Problem
How Overcontrol Works
Putting It All Together: Meet Your Internalized Parents
The Adult-Life Legacies of Growing up Controlled
Letting Go of the Legacies: Giving up the Distortions of the Internalized Parents
Why Parents Overcontrol
Controllers' Fears
Solving the Problem
Emotionally Leaving Home
Separating from Unhealthy Family Ties
Bringing Balance to Your Relationship with Your Parents
How Can I Set Healthier Boundaries with My Parents?
Should I Confront My Parents?
Can I Forgive My Parents?
Can I Accept My Parents?
Should I Reduce or Break Contact with My Parents?
Family Quandaries
Redefining Your Life
Nine Powerful Paths for Growth and Healing
Making Meaning
The Book in a Nutshell
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