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| Dedication | |
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| Preface | |
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| Growin'up a Cardinal | |
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| Baseball Memories are Free and Worth Every Penny | |
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| Where the Past is Present | |
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| Busch Stadium: The Last Refuge of Scoundrels | |
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| Fanecdotes | |
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| Busch Stadium | |
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| Bingo, I Must Be In the Front Row | |
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| It Was a Ball | |
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| "Take This Job and Love It" | |
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| Donny Baseball | |
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| The Sign Man Cometh | |
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| He's From the Quad Cities; It's Twice as Good as the Twin Cities | |
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| Short Stories From Long Memories | |
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| On the Road Again | |
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| Lewis Levey Once Had an Arm Wrestling Bet with Clark Kent. The Loser Had to Wear His Underwear Outside His Pants | |
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| He's Been a Cardinal Fan Ever Since George Hendrick Hammed It Up For The Fans by Slightly Arching His Left Eyebrow | |
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| Notre Dame Needs a Fullback, a Halfback, and Ara Back | |
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| The Cards are Number One on His Ship List | |
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| Hear Me Now, Listen to Me Later | |
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| He Bought Fake World Series Tickets, Then He Drank a Six-Pack of O'Doul's and Got Into a Fake Fight | |
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| There's No Proof That Smoking Causes Cancer…Well… There's No Living Proof | |
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| So Say You One, So Say You All | |
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| A Female Cardinal Fan | |
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| When MLB Calls Ya Gotta Accept the Charges | |
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| Female Cardinal Fans are Some of Life's Most Misunderstood Creatures" | |
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| Marriages are Made in Heaven, So are Thunder and Lightning | |
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| When We Were Young and Our World Was New | |
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| He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother | |
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| Yada, Yada, Yada | |
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| Sign Here | |
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| Cardinal Fever? No Cure! | |
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| As a Youngster He Prayed to be a Cardinal. God Answered His Prayers: He Said, "No." Little Timmy Dolan Prayed to be a Cardinal. God Said, "Yes!" | |
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| Quick Hits and Interesting Bits | |
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| Cardinal Palooza | |
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| A Coach is a Teacher…With a Death Wish | |
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| Deep Thoughts, Cheap Shots, And Bon Mots | |
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| The Last of the Ninth | |
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| Hey Now, You're an All-Star, Get Your Game On, Go Play | |
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| Down at the Corner of What and Why | |
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| These 7 Things are the 10 Reasons to Love Baseball | |
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| If Life Was Fair There Would Be No Wheelchairs | |
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| Sometimes God Just Hands Ya One | |
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| All it Takes is All You Got | |
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| But Wait…There's More | |